A few years ago, I was involved in a group conversation about work and careers. One of the men, in his mid-late twenties, was asked what he did. He simply smiled and said, “Not much,” offering no further explanation. (It later came to my knowledge that he worked part-time helping disabled children.)
At the time, I was somewhat of a workaholic, clocking in sixty-hour weeks. I, and several of the other young professionals in our group, were taken aback by his casual remark. We were all what you’d consider “upwardly mobile,” and it was difficult for us to understand someone else’s deliberate rejection of such a lifestyle.
However, those two words have stayed with me—not as something to disdain, but as something to which to aspire. When it comes to work, I too would like to someday do “not much”—saving my time and energy instead for activities and causes that are important to me.
I lead a much more balanced lifestyle these days, but still find it hard to escape my workaholic tendencies (and it doesn’t help that DH is the same!). While we don’t have debt, or buy expensive “toys,” we’re still trying to maximize our income in the interest of future financial freedom. At the same time, however, we’re realizing that as we get older, life seems to go by faster—and that we need to take more time to enjoy it now, as well as plan for later. With that in mind, we’ve vowed to make travel and sightseeing a priority while we’re living abroad (instead of working weekends and skipping vacations!).
By the same token, I’m making a conscious effort to keep my schedule as light and flexible as possible, minimizing commitments and planned-in-advance activities.
So has anyone else decided to do “not much”—or at least less than you used to?
Yes, this definitely resonates. When I moved from town to country I wanted a less stressful job where I didnt have to do endless unpaid overtime. Then I managed to negotiate four long days at work rather than five shorter days (less commuting costs and three days free!). Then I became self employed so was free to balance work and other things. Then I worked part time and now have downsized to no work at all. Hallelujah! Cant tell you how wonderful it is to do what I want to do, go on holiday when I want to, visit friends when I want to, get up when I want to, go to bed when I want to. Can definitely recommend it! An awful lot of work related costs disappear overnight so you dont need as much money anyway. I love the fact that work and leisure are all mixed up together and all are equally pleasurable. But I felt surprisingly guilty at first I must say as I was below statutory retirement age. “What do you do?” is such a commonly asked question when you first meet people. I have now got over feeling guilty! Life is too short.
That sounds wonderful, Frances. I especially like how you said that “work and leisure are all mixed up together and all are equally pleasurable.” :-)
I am the exact same way.
I used to be filled with workaholic tendencies, commitments.. it was a lot of stress and pressure
Now, I just do what I want, see who I want, and try not to overwhelm myself.
However, it’s just hard when you’re a freelancer and you want to earn as much money as possible, so you don’t end up taking that month-long vacation you had planned
I agree, Everyday Minimalist, it’s difficult when you’re a freelancer without “set” hours!
Oh yes, I am currently ‘unemployed’ but I can become a very busy person–it’s something that seems to be in my nature that I have to balance. Luckily for me DH is not a workaholic and reminds me frequently to slow down, take it easy or take a day off.
I think a huge part in our desire/willingness to work less was when we started to budget and take stock of what we earned and spent. We realized we could easily live on half of what we earned and we did–quite comfortably. Now we no longer want to work full time and are looking for other options. I would like to go back to being self-employed, but as Everyday Minimalist points out, you can end up overworking just as easily (if not more easily) when you work for yourself–at least in my experience.
Another turning point was time taken off work. Both of us spent a 6 month period unemployed a while back. We traveled a bit visiting old friends and spending time with family. DH did a bike tour with his parents in the South of France and I went and lived in Mexico for a while and brushed up my Spanish–something I’d wanted to do for a long time. People thought we were insane and we said we were ‘temporarily retired.’ I found that I was even more picky with my time while I was NOT working than when I was working–I began to cut back on time spent in activities I didn’t find meaningful or enjoyable and with people I didn’t feel close to. It’s a habit I’ve never given up.
Simple in France, that’s a great point about realizing how much income is “enough.” I love how you made the most of your time off from work!
Ok..don’t hit me…I love my job…I really do. It took me 15 years to find a career I am passionate about, so that helps. Having said that, my time at home is MY time..family time. I am easily able to switch between the two but it has taken years of organizing, downsizing and prioritizing to get here. I made a list of priorities in my life and one of those it to be able to someday or whatever day say “ok, I am done…let’s go.” and move to the beach. I think you can work full time and have a life…you just have to find the balance, which for me is a lot of down time at home. Planning for my future and be able to see that coming to fruitation motivates me every day to get out of bed, along with the whole passion thing. : )
Heather, I think you’ve found the holy grail: a career you’re passionate about. That’s when it becomes more meaningful than just “work.”
It took a long time and a lot of soul searching, but the foundation of my entire being is layed in minimalism and simple living. That has helped tremendously because I am able to sort through the not so important stuff and get to what is really important to me. : )
i read a quote some where that said something like “i don’t want to spend the first 60 years of my life getting ready for the last 20”
i just realized i would rather enjoy myself now and work as little as i can than worry about making money so i can retire and not have to worry. i still want to be able to retire and enjoy that but not at the expense of my life now. i don’t care about having a house and i don’t want kids. i have no debt, no pets and no other commitments other than trying to go to school and work part time and its been great. only able to do all that b/c my boyfriend works hard and pays the rent, but now that i’ve had a taste of freedom i would find a way to keep it if i was on my own again.
Great quote, Tabatha! I think we all need to find a balance between living in the present, and planning for the future.
I’m trying to design my lifestyle, so to speak, to start doing less work at the office per se. I don’t intend to exchange that time for some navel-gazing, not that i am suggesting anyone is. I think doing less is a bit of a misnomer in that, when you remove one activity, you substitute another. That “another” may be as simple as meditating or doing yoga, or it may be writing a book, volunteering, working a side business. Something, however, will take up that time.
For me, I’ve started working at home one day per week and am lobbying for two. That saves a good couple hours on commute and grooming processes. I’ve substituted working on a side business and spending time with my three newborns. The lifestyle design process will take me a bit longer to implement as I am the only source of income in the household and can’t make any abrupt changes due to health care and salary requirements.
This is a great article and exercise for assessing the tasks in our lives.
– Charley
Thanks, Charley! You’re right — it’s all about making time for the activities we find most fulfilling.
@ Tabatha,
I think it’s pretty great that your boyfriend’s generosity helps you live the life you want. However, what do you plan to do if you break up? Do you anticipate being able to live the same kind of lifestyle if he dumps you? If you dump him? If he loses his income? If you, despite not wanting kids, get pregnant and having a difficult time choosing to terminate?
Your comment struck me more than the others, because I used to support my girlfriend, until I realized we had nothing in common except living space. When we split, she was forced to work harder and pay her own bills, something she was woefully unprepared for because she thought I would support her “forever.”
I’m not bashing your choices at all, just wondering what your contingency plan is.
–Christopher
Hi Christopher! Of course, we certainly all need to have a contingency plan, whether both partners are working or just one. (In this economy, you never know who could lose their job!) On the other hand, it’s nice when one partner can provide income so that the other can pursue a dream (whether it’s going to school, starting a business, raising children, etc.). Most importantly, both partners have to be happy with the situation, and comfortable with the financial implications.
My ‘aha’ moment came a few days after a friend of mine mentioned that she’d rather work part-time, earn less money and have more time to do things she enjoyed. I baulked at this initially, I thought she was mad! However, over the next couple of days her idea kept coming back to me and eventually made me question why I was so set on jumping into a full time job and starting the long climb up the ladder. Now I can totally see where she is coming from, I would much rather have my life dominated by the activities I love. This doesn’t mean I want four days a week to sleep in, bake cakes and read books but I would love to have enough time to blog, practice yoga and spend time with the people I love!
Great comment, Emily; I agree that making time for the activities and people we love is far more important than making money.
I had a bit of an extreme situation which made me realise that the minimalistic life was for me. I moved to the second biggest city in the country and started a medical degree…it all became just too much for me. I’m still living there during term time but now I take regualr trips home now (out in the countryside!) and go hiking or simply just stay at home and enjoy time with my family. I’ve cut down the number of extra-curricular commitments I have too, giving me time to just…be…
Francesca, I’m glad to hear you’ve been able to bring some balance to your situation. I think we all need to build a little time in our schedules to just “be.” :-)
I’m just started reading this and the Simple life in France blog — both enjoyable. I don’t know enough of your work/financial situation but I often feel that one gets to enjoy the simple life at the expense of the other (working spouse). While the at-home spouse finds him or herself, the other takes on the responsibility and pressure of supporting a spouse or family. I do understand of course that the the at-home spouse usually takes all or most of the household duties which is a HUGE plus.
My questions are: Does this set-up ever switch? Does the working spouse ever get to find him or herself? It seems hard since the one who stays home first usually loses skills and is less employable. Secondly, I would love it if you (or someone) gives simple living tips for those who are still working!
Hi oilandgarlic! I’m still working, just not the 60+ hours per week I used to. :-)
You’ve brought up some good points. I think in many cases, however, the “at-home” spouse may be taking time off to go to school, learn a new skill, or start a business — not necessarily to drop out of the work force entirely.
As for the set-up ever switching — sure, I would think that in a balanced relationship either partner would gladly make this temporary sacrifice (being the primary wage earner) to allow the other to pursue such an opportunity.
Consider the thought of simplyfing your finances…I don’t mean one bank account, one credit card. That’s obvious.
In the could you, would you walk away sort. I saved enough money to divorce amicably without any debt, send myself to get a BS(that it is) degree in business, support myself and my teenage son alone and do a study abroad in the south of France.
I have enjoyed an amazing time these past five years.
This past year I lost all my money and am in debt for the first time in twelve years. Here’s where it gets interesting, I’m no different in my thinking about money as a tool to be levereged to suit our lives and nothing more nothing less.
I still spent a month and a half visiting my family in New Orleans just enjoying my time. I’ll admit that because of current budgetary restraints I took the Sunset ltd back to California with a coach seat. I voluntarily slept in my sweats in the lounge car along with two other women and the train marshall. I may not have had a room, a proper bed or a private toilet for two days, but I had the adventure of a lifetime. I met some wonderful people!
Money is like water…we need it, but we don’t need to stockpile it, we need to seek out freshwater streams and our needs will be met. Could you walk away from your savings and still absolutly know you will be alright?
Wow, that’s very thought-provoking, Ellen. Having an emergency fund makes me feel secure, and I’ve always felt compelled to “save for a rainy day.” However, I know that if I lost my income or savings, I’d still get by; my lifestyle doesn’t require large amounts of money, and I don’t feel “entitled” to any particular standard of living. I view money as a tool for freedom, more than anything else; it’s certainly not essential to happiness. Thanks so much for sharing your experience!
I am working not on working less, per se, but on working better. As a university professor in a department that encourages lots of mentoring time outside the classroom, I found in the last few years that I needed to budget and focus that uncredited but highly visible time carefully. I am in session 30 weeks of the year, meaning in class, advising, leadership, and mentoring usually about 12 hours/6 days weekly; it also used to mean attending 1-3 student projects weekly. But in the last five years I have realized that those 72-hour weeks included a lot of wasted time: I have been cutting back on my availability, for example choosing which student-based projects/events I will attend (and missing some!), and prioritizing my own work equal to theirs. This has been a positive and productive change for me, and for my students, too. Instead of seeing every project, I attend only the ones students invite me to–and then spend an hour giving them feedback after, if they want it. This actually cut my time there to 1/3 of previous hours, but it was worth it to develop stronger relationships with students who valued my input.
Simple living is the current buzz word of the moment. Yes folks are scaling back and downsizing, but it has more to do with lack of incomes, opportunities, no raises, and increases in the basics, food and gas.
The real trick will be how we handle the lack of oil. We are currently addicted to oil much like a heroin addict. It will be interesting to see what simple living is then.
As a former single-mother, I set my priorities a long time ago. My family was first, then my career. I turned down very high-powered positions because I knew they would interfere with my time spent with family. Before becoming self-employed, I turned down a promotion at my last company, after asking what type of overtime would be involved with the position. I have never regretted it. My business partner and I are both of the same mind: we work to live, not live to work.
There’s a great book called The Underachiever’s Manifesto by Ray Bennett; it talks about exactly this, and I’ve found it very useful.
I used to work a “9-5” job and would find myself looking out the window thinking “I wish I could be out there!”. I realized that although I was making great money, I wasn’t growing in any kind of a way and I felt myself missing out on what was “out there” in the really world (as opposed to a cubicle). I thought: I wish I could work half the amount of hours for half the amount of pay (there weren’t any part time jobs out there paying that much though). Then I thought instead: No! I wish I could work half the amount of hours for the SAME amount of pay. Then, again, I thought instead: No! I want to work half the amount of hours for MORE pay! And then… it happened! I realized that still even with half the amount of hours and more pay, you don’t necessarily LOVE what you are doing during those “paid” hours. So, I have reduced my hours even more (thus my pay) and am now focusing on: I want to make great money doing what I LOVE! I work as much or as little as I want and make great pay. I benefit the world!
@Patty ~ my desire to minimalize has nothing to do with $. My desire to minimalize has to do with realizing what’s really important to me and having a neat, open, alive environment. Everyone has their own reasons I’m sure :)
Great topic! I am currently a stay-at-home mom, and over the past 10 years have worked on and off. In response to @oilandgarlic, I thought your point about the unemployed person getting to enjoy simple living “at the expense of the other (working spouse)” to be thought-provoking for me personally. Today as took my dogs on a long, quiet walk and then returned home to do some baking, I had moments of guilt. Would my husband like for me to be responsible for paying the bills for a while so he could pursue his interests? I bet he would. We have had many conversations about it, and what it frequently comes back to is that for now, this situation is best for our family. My husband enjoys working, and has much greater income potential than me. He would much rather go to work than do housekeeping, cook, and take kids to appointments and lessons. So in order to express my appreciation for his income, I try and make our home as peaceful and happy as possible. When he comes home, I think he is grateful for home-cooked meals and happy, relaxed family. Someday when our kids are older, I can work and he can choose to do what he wants. I think it just needs to be a mutual decision.
i sure try to do “not much” or not much of what doesn’t interest me. i’ve learned to say “no” which has helped. want to go to a wedding, no sorry can’t make it. of course, i need to work to pay bills so can’t control my time in that reguard but i’m still working on that. i had to work time to fit in good sleep. meaning people think i sleep a lot 12 or more hours at time including naps. hey i get carded sometimes so beauty sleep may be true.
stay cool, ultracool flipflop guy
It is so nice to see people loving their lives and not wasting time on “stuff”. We all need a few material things, but most of us do not need alot. I spent so many years trying to make my home look like the home decorating magazines. I thought I was so clever, even buying “things” at garage sales. And even though I saved alot of money, I also wasted alot of money too and my house did not magically look those home decorating magazines. In fact I ended up with a house full of clutter. For the last three months I have been selling stuff and giving stuff away to charity. It feels so freeing and I no longer stop when I see a garage sale. (at least most of the time). I am editing what comes into my life.
I’m only 21 and am still at uni. I can’t comment much about working life, but the ‘not much’ aspiration definitely resonates with me. The thought of spending the next thirty or forty years of my life working full-time five days a week absolutely horrifies me. And not necessarily because I’m lazy — when I’m working I’m working hard — but because I can’t possibly picture myself happy unless I have more time for relaxing and doing what I enjoy.
I have no idea if this lifestyle is going to be possible for me: how will I be able to afford a house, and what happens if/when I have kids? At least I’m very conservative with my purchases, so that’ll slightly lessens the need to exhaust myself at work…
Anyway, apologies for rambling, and thanks for the thought-provoking post :)
Worked part time for 7 years and full time for about 22. Retired at 53 with a pension. Then worked another 10 years part time. If you live simply, you can work evenings while your DH is home with the kids. Now I do volunteer work, read, do puzzles, take classes. The ladies I meet for lunch have a lot more clothes and bigger houses but it doesn’t matter in the long run.
I keep reading that you need to save a million dollars to retire. You don’t if you live simply or if you are willing to work part time. Our expenses are minimal and could be even less. Friends have big houses and full closets but that isn’t necessary.
We find that we need very little to live on in retirement. We could pay our home off if we wanted and live on even less. There are a lot of costs associated with working full time- transportation, clothing, lunches, etc.- that we avoid. I like to sleep late which I couldn’t do when I had to commute to work.
We just got back from another cruise. We go on a big vacation every year or two and smaller vacations more often. And we don’t work at all. Friends spend money getting their hair and nails done, helping their children with lots of money, and buying all sorts of things we don’t need. I don’t have a diamond necklace and we only have one car. Life is about the choices we make. But neither of us have worked even part time in years.
My fantasy “retirement” has always been working for MsF doing aid work overseas. The bombing of the hospital in Afghanistan by the U.S. military hit me kind of hard. I want to work towards moving overseas permanently to do aid work. It often weighs on me that I don’t do more to fight U.S. imperialism.
I try to go to demonstrations and speeches I agree with. Also lectures and art gallery showings of feminist or outsider art. I have wonderful handmade jewelry from all over the world so I don’t need any of that.
A dear relative can no longer afford to live on her own so she’s moved in with her daughter. I told my daughter if she can’t afford to retire in 20+ years she can move in with me. But she has to get rid of her mess. I don’t have much now and I plan to have less as I get older.
I have a few costume jewelry pieces I bought for less than $10 each. When we travel, I take only my wedding ring. At home, my jewelry is in a parts container with a number of tiny drawers lined with felt. I have a few nice pieces that live at the bank. They come out for special occasions. Either they were inherited or gifts for our 20th anniversary, 25th anniversary, etc. I know women who wear diamond necklaces every day and big charm bracelets wherever they go, but I am not about to do that.