Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details. (Note: the schedule is now full until March — but if you don’t mind waiting, feel free to send me your submission!)
Today we have a wonderful submission from Kelly, who’s adopted a minimalist lifestyle in anticipation of her little bundle of joy. Check out her blog, Frugal Vegan Mom, to learn more!
Kelly writes:
Photo: Kelly
My name is Kelly and I’d probably be considered a middle-of-the-road minimalist. My husband and I live more simply and spend less money than most everyone we know, but have never taken any extreme measures such as purging our possessions or quitting our jobs to travel around the world with one suitcase (although it does sound tempting!).
Unfortunately we started thinking like minimalists only after accruing over $120,000 in student loans, then realizing just how hard those loans are to pay off even with a decent salary, and on top of that realizing that we (especially me) are not very corporate-career oriented people and that working in a cubicle pushing papers would be a miserable way to spend our lives.
For the past two years, since my husband graduated from law school, we’ve been putting all our extra income towards our debt, with the goal of being able to live comfortably off one income by the time we decided to have kids….and then, surprise! Earlier this summer I got pregnant sooner than expected. At the time of writing this in mid-Sept., I’m 4 months, with a due date of mid-Feb., 2011.
Our vague goal now is to save all our extra money for hospital bills, maternity leave, and beyond, because we don’t know what our situation will be in five months. My husband is looking for a new job but the market for lawyers is awful. I’m hoping my employer will let me try out a part-time schedule, but we won’t know until after the baby comes. The one absolute is that there is NO WAY I will work full time after having a kid.
I realize many moms do it, but the idea of paying someone a crapload to take care of my kid while I go to my soul sucking office job all day sounds so awful to me I’d rather have to defer our loans for awhile, despite how painful watching that interest pile up would be. Sometimes you just have to choose happiness over the most financially responsible route.
This is where our minimalism could really be put to the test. Our current average monthly expenses are just over $4,000, including our minimum student loan payment of $1,000 and $200 to put into savings.
Our current monthly income, after taxes and deductions for health insurance, is $5,200. Best case scenario post-baby (my employer lets me go half time), it will be about $3,800, allowing us to almost break even. Otherwise it could be a lot less, worst case scenario living temporarily just off my husband’s income of $2,400 per month.
Here are some ways we already practice minimalism, but I might be looking for a lot more!
-Living in an under 1,000 sq. ft. house with a $675/mo. Mortgage.
-No cable or internet, and just a basic cell phone plan.
-Rarely eating out (but still used to spend quite a chunk “going out”, especially pre-pregnancy!)
-Have never bought new furniture or expensive things for our house.
-Don’t shop for recreation, meaning very few clothing or other unnecessary purchases.
-Continually looking for ways to simplify what we already have by cleaning out and donating or selling items, even if it doesn’t result in large financial gain.When I found out I was pregnant I started a blog at http://www.frugalveganmom.wordpress.com to get out my thoughts on pregnancy and impending motherhood (yikes!), getting ready for a baby on a budget, and following a mostly vegan diet. Feel free to check it out and give me lots of advice, I’ll need it!
{If you’d like to read more about minimalist living, please consider buying my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
You know what… no matter how many people tell you it’s impossible to live off one income, it’s absolutely NOT. (And this comes from a person who absolutely doesn’t earn the salary of a manager.)
After 20 years, your kids will be grateful for the time you’ve spent with them, not for the amount of gifts you were able to purchase :)
Greetings from the Netherlands!
Thanks for the encouragement – our family members are continually saying “how will you have room for a baby in a house that small? they need a lot of stuff you know!”
I don’t buy it. If people did it before us, we can too.
Wish I was in the Netherlands! Our health care and maternity leave policies here are disgraceful…
Hehe, I don’t believe you have a house smaller than we had when our baby arrived ;) We had an apartment with one small living room and a tiny bedroom. (I’m guessing Americans would call that ‘walk in closet’) – we managed just fine.
Babies don’t need stuff or space, they only need love. :) If they have a bed to sleep in and clothes to keep them warm (ok, diapers are handy too!) then they’re all set for the first year….
Part time work would be really ideal. You feel you are contributing to the household income yet are home for the baby. Hope you can arrange it.
Checked out your blog, the Christmas photo was a ‘hoot’ and a great way to start off a Monday a.m.
Will continue to check in. Good luck on baby.
Ha, glad you liked that! I’m never sure how many people would get our humor or just be offended by us defiling a x-mas card.
Some of our past cards have featured us in halloween costumes, dressed as zombies, and my MIL said “can’t you just put a picture of baby Jesus on your card?!” I feel bad for even sending her one!
Kelly–greetings from a fellow frozen snow-bound midwesterner (Wis here)! Checked out your blog, looks like a fun site, I be returning to it. Don’t let anyone make you change your convictions about staying home with your little one–you can NOT get those years back and they go so quickly. As a mom of grown children, we did it on one modest income and though we don’t have as much material ‘stuff’, I would never give up those precious years at home with my boys. Best wishes with the baby–stay warm (I had a December baby and a February one, so I know what you’re going through being pregnant this time of year!)
Ach, I know, I waited for a bus that didn’t come in negative 5 degrees this a.m.! Pregnancy is keeping me quite warm though.
I totally agree with your philosophy on staying home, I just need to let go of my near-obsession with paying down debt and focus on enjoying life.
A home based business or work is the best way to go. You can either work for others or yourself. Having your own business, especially one that you care about and preferably love, is really the only option when you dislike your job. I’ve been an entrepreneur for years (couple different businesses and other ventures) & it’s the best thing I could’ve done for myself. I doubt I could ever work for someone again. There’s just too many alternative ways to make money. Feel free to email me if you’d like some ideas or just to brainstorm together. I love helping others find ways to make money or a career they love. :)
I totally agree that we need to think about happiness, not just getting the biggest financial numbers possible. I recently read “Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence” which you might enjoy. It was a great mix of financial tips and inspiration for living a different lifestyle. Thanks for sharing your story and congrats on the baby!
Hi Mallory – I have read it and did really like it! That and a bunch of blogs such as this one have had a huge influence on me, I didn’t always think like this. But once the seed is planted…
Having children can actually help keep you minimalist!! As long as you don’t buy into the idea that they need a bunch of stuff (like you mentioned you didn’t buy into that idea). We have lots of dc (dear children) and they don’t have all the paraphernalia that lots of other dc have, but we always get comments about how creative our dc are, how they operate outside of the box. I think that comes from having to be mindful rather than being zoned out with techno.
All the best on your pregnancy and delivery and mama-hood. Enjoy every step.
Hi, thanks for sharing your story! I’m vegan too, and always wondered how it would impact pregnancy if I ever decide to have children. I’ll definitely check out your blog. Also, I agree with you…I’d rather not pay someone else to watch my kids while I go to a job.
My goodness, where does your money go though? I pay more in rent, pay more toward debt, have cable and a large cell plan on about half the salary! I guess I’m a little more frugal than I thought??
Sarah – bleh, I have no idea. Well, that’s not true, I have a pretty clear idea, here’s a post I did awhile ago about the breakdown of our expenses:
http://frugalveganmom.wordpress.com/2010/10/26/how-we-budget/
I track them pretty well, it’s the cutting back part that’s hard!
I’m hoping that a great many if not a majority of us are on our way to minimalist living. So much stuff, so little else! Kelly, I wish you the best in adapting to your new life as a mom and a minimalist.
Hi Kelly! I loved your story today. Congratulations on the new baby! Good for you for knowing that babies don’t need very much by way of “stuff”. And I admire your decision to work part-time MAX. I’m not really a follower of Oprah, but my kind mom passes along her magazine each month. In a recent issue, she had a wonderful quote that went something like this: “Parents work so hard away from their kids to give them stuff they themselves didn’t have growing up. But all your kids really want is your time, to feel your love, to have your eyes light up when they walk into a room.” You are SO FAR ahead of where I was four years ago. I wish you and your family the very best!
Hi Kelly,
Congratulations on your baby and welcome to the minimalist community. Though others will give you perplexed looks about your minimalist lifestyle, it is totally worth it. As for opting to work part time in order to spend more time with your future baby, I wholeheartedly agree. Though I am not a mother myself, I am a birth doula, and I know from experience how important it is to spend as much quality time with your youngin’, especially during the early years. One suggestion I would offer is looking into hiring a birth doula for your birth. Whether you deliver at home or in a hospital, having support is very important during the birth process. As a minimalist doula, you do not even need to spend a ton of money on a doula. There are plenty of low cost/volunteer doulas out there!! Let me know if you need any help in that area! Also, I would definitely look into doula work as a way to supplement your income. There is no paper pushing cubicle to suck out your soul and it is totally fulfilling!
Kelly,
Congratulations on your baby! Start now by looking at learning to breastfeed, and at people/groups that support it and can help if there are problems that arise while breastfeeding. (It is a learned skill.) It is the best food for your baby, and it’s really cheap and easy to transport!!! After that, all you will need is a car seat, crib, diapers, onsies and blankets! See how much you can get by on what others get for you, or pass down to you. Good luck on trying to stay home with the baby as much as possible, it is the best thing you can do for the both of you!! God Bless.
Great story Kelly and congratulations on your soon to be new family member! Have you ever read The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn? It’s a great book about how one couple raised six children on one income. Even though I don’t have children I still found her creative approach to saving money inspiring and fun and I still use many of her suggestions to this day.
You are lucky to only pay $675 for 1000sqft. Here in SF, rent alone for a place that size is in the $2500 range. Anyway, congratulations on the baby, and your goals for a minimalist lifestyle suited perfectly for you!
My husband is a teacher, so for many years we lived on very limited funds. Some would say we were “poor” but, looking back, I would say we were wealthy. We had our health, simple food eaten at home together, six sweet children to fill our house with joy. Our clothes came from the thrift stores or were homemade, but always clean and neat. Our children had fewer toys than most, but spent a lot of time making their own playthings and entertainment. We moved several times, usually renting an older house but we kept things neat and in good repair. Because we couldn’t buy much, we found out the wonderful secret that we didn’t really need much and the freedom that brought to our lives has been blessed. We learned many skills out of necessity-gardening, sewing, repairing things-that have become enjoyable hobbies now. The best thing I did was make the decision to stay home with my children-no matter what. Things got pretty tough at times, but it was all worth it, every bit of it!I have storehouse of wonderful memories-many that were only possible because I was actually there with my children to see their lives happen and experience it with them. Don’t trade that for anything-nothing on earth, no house, car, business, “career” is worth losing out on the truly rich things in life.
My wife is a stay at home mom, and I know she wouldn’t trade it for anything. We gave up some luxuries when she stopped working to stay home with our daughter but it was totally worth it.
My two daughters are old now (even their one-child-each are 20-somethings), but here is how we managed. HE (insert name of my husband or son-in-law) worked conventional hours, while WE (insert name of woman)worked other hours–graveyard shift, weekends, holidays. Of course it depends on what field you’re in. Minimal use of daycare. Sure, sometimes we were sleep-deprived, but so are stay at home parents of young children.
It appears you have a low mortgage, so why such a high monthly expense amount?? ($4000?). Maybe that is none of my business. However, just know that it is very possible to live with kids and a one family income!!! I’m in awe of your choice of happiness vs. financial gain (stay home vs. high levels of day care costs). We stuck our kids in day care twice a week (3 hours only/day) just so I could have a much needed break! It was a cost I associated to ‘keeping Mommy happy!’ Enjoy your special time!
My daughter is 11 years old now. If I were to have another I would forgo a crib, she never slept in it, and the stroller. We did without a changing table. Breastfed and used a sling/carrier. We didn’t use half of the items from her baby shower that everyone thought we needed.
I read those Amy Daczyczyn books, too. I stayed home and worked part time when my husband was home. It doesn’t cost much to raise kids. Don’t let anyone tell you it does. Just remember you are raising responsible members of society. I remember making many gifts and helping my children make many gifts. I can make doll clothes and furniture and garage sales and rummage sales help a lot.
My daughter in law buys the boys clothes at garage sales. A lot of the stuff they have is second hand. They get new stuff at birthdays and Christmas and are always saving up for something.
Find friends who think like you. Ignore the people who tell you it costs a lot to raise kids. Braces cost a lot and college can cost a lot but the rest can be done cheaply. When the kids are old enough they can get part time jobs on the weekends or a few days after school. Stick to your values not society’s.
My son–age 41–was talking about how he learned from me how to keep kids busy at the older boy’s birthday party. He had them making crafts. My kids always were busy making or doing something. Other parents took the kids to restaurants which wasn’t in our budget besides I couldn’t stand the noise.
My daughter–age 40— wanted a Hello Kitty! birthday party. I borrowed decorations from a friend who had the same theme for her 6 year old. Various friends brought drinks, popcorn,cake, chicken, fries, cole slaw, etc. Her brothers gave her a gift card to Costco. We gave her a check to cover renting the room. We give money for gifts, anyway.