Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today we have a wonderful contribution from Lindsay, a mother of three. She tells us how her family’s minimalist journey has changed their lives for the better. What a great example, and inspiration, for aspiring minimalists with children!
Lindsay writes:
I am currently on the journey to becoming a minimalist. We are a military family and uproot our lives every three to four years to move to a new part of the world. We love our lifestyle, but moving that often can be very stressful. In the past it consisted of other people packing up our stuff and carting it across the country! Not only do they see EVERYTHING because it has to be inventoried, but also things get broken and lost and keeping track of everything is a headache. Minimalism allows us to take this stressful part of moving out of the equation and focus on our next new and exciting place to live.
I found minimalism while researching alternative parenting styles for a class I was taking. I envied those parents for the simplicity in their lives and the time they have to give to their children. I had been caught up in the organizing and reorganizing of my home (mostly toys!) to make it tidy and functional for years. After more reading and research about minimalism I realized how great minimalism would be for not only me, but also my family.
Being a mother of three I knew it would not be easy convincing my children, let alone my husband, to go along with me, so I started de-cluttering my stuff and then the living area. They soon saw that it is so much easier to keep a room clean when there is no clutter to get thrown around! Soon everyone began de-cluttering and my two youngest (ages 5 and 2) were actually relieved that they had more room to play with the few toys they LOVE and they don’t even miss all of the other stuff. I think it helps that my kids don’t watch cable so they are not exposed to advertising and they do not ask for stuff. Also, we now skip the big box stores all together, there is too much temptation! Luckily, we live in an area with a lot of specialty stores that sell just produce, meat, organic foods, etc. This allows me to take my children shopping with me, without them asking for toys, they actually ask for exotic fruits instead!
At the beginning of our journey I was concerned that I would be depriving my children of a normal childhood by living simply and that they might resent me for it. I now know that the opposite is true. Minimalism is a gift I give my children every day. Not only do they spend less time cleaning, but I have more time for them because I do not spend as much time organizing and even shopping. We do more family activities like going to the beach, the zoo and the aquarium. Also, I think more importantly, my children will grow up with a sense of what they “need” instead of what they “want.” I hope they will grow up being happy with what they have. I hope they can resist buying things and going into debt because of peer pressure, advertising pressure and society’s pressure.
These past few months have been life changing, energizing and renewing and we are looking forward to the rest of our lives as minimalists.
Thanks for reading!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Lindsay, this really is inspiring. I am a mother of four and I understand why your main motivation behind minimalising is time. More time for the kids and more time to “share” instead of cleaning/organising – I totally get that.
Thanks for sharing – it’s so good to hear of other mums who are further down the track than me witht eh difficult task of getting rid of the “stuff” in life.
Karen (Scotland)
Beautiful post. I love that you consider minimalism a gift to your children. They’re very lucky.
I think your example of leading by example is a valuable one. I believe I have inspired more people to embrace minimalism through my actions and the affect they see it has had on my life than any amount of preaching could have achieved.
This is a great post! Thanks so much for sharing your experience. My husband and I are recent minimalists (although we were never clutter bugs to begin with) and we’re on a travel adventure. Everything we own fits in our car!
I’ve often thought that a minimalistic lifestyle was easier for us because our children are grown, but your post shows that it is indeed possible for families with children to have less and that the kids will thrive in such an environment. I’m going to forward this post to my daughter, who has two little ones.
Lindsay- you sound so much like us!!! We are a soon to be retired military family and after 8 moves in 7 years, I have learn to lighten the load. This last move will be home and it is amazing how little we are taking. It’s taken me a few years to get here but I love it. We do not have an exact move date yet but with so much less stuff, I don’t mind because it will only take me a day to pack up the house, unlike the previous weeks of planning and packing that used to occur. : ) Great post.
Sounds wonderful!
Hi Lindsay! Your post is very inspiring, and I agree: you are giving your children a gift every day with your intentional minimalism. I’m currently reading the most fantastic book on this subject: Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. He discusses not only minimalizing the physical space of your home by decluttering toys and “stuff,” but of minimalizing your family commitments/schedule, of establishing rhythms in your family life, and of minimizing the intrusion of the adult world (such as bad news and over-sexualized TV content, among other things) in your children’s lives. The wonderful, connected family life he talks about brings tears to my eyes! May God bless you and your family as your continue your minimalist journey.
I don’t have any children yet, but have been working toward simplifying my own life. Thank you for sharing your story!! It is truly inspirational!
I’m not a parent, but I used to be a child. I used to worry about natural disasters or fires, because I wouldn’t be able to save all my dolls and everything. (I guess I just kind of assumed my parents would somehow save me if anything ever happened.)
It bothered me that I had so much stuff and couldn’t take care of it all. I totally agree that you’re not depriving your children. The most fun I had playing with barbies was when my sister and I had 3 each and they were on a quest to find the fourth ones (when we saved up enough allowance to each buy another one.) I think it was because mine were friends with hers, whereas when we both had 10 or 15 my barbies only talked to each other mostly.
What I’m trying to say is that you’re doing a great thing for your kids, they’re learning to play together instead of separately, and not missing out on anything really.
As a mom of 4 grown kids,I can attest that having less stuff will not deprive your kids. Always remember that the most important things in life are not things, they are people. Your children want YOU. They may think they want new toys, new games, new gadgets, but what they really want and desire is time with their parents. Don’t ever apologize for it!
Bernice
Does having less stuff make life easier?
I’m exhausted from reading that! All those exclamation marks! Wow!
I have 4 kids. I am a minimalist. They are OK with it. Doubts? Read the blog:
singlemomenough.wordpress.com
Lindsay,
Thank you for sharing with us. How fortunate for you and your children that you have learned minimalism while they are still young. It will be interesting to see how these principles instilled in them now will influence their growing up years and their own lives when they are out on their own. This consumer, stuff-oriented world needs more parents like you.
Lindsay,
I’ve helped many of my military friends and families pack up and move (I just can’t say no to friends who ask for moving help).
About the sixth time I did this, it dawned on me that we all throw away or give to the Good Will about the same kinds of things, only to buy them again at our new duty stations. And this especially held true for kids toys.
My family grew up with very few toys, but we were very happy. We built forts, made up games, put on plays, created haunted houses, collected rocks. And we were very, very happy.
You’ve given your children a real gift by giving them less.
Cheers,
TDH
Lindsay, you are an inspiration!!!
Gentle hugs…
Thank you for sharing your story Lindsay! I have noticed that my daughter is happier with less to play with as well! We have more space as a result and life is good!
Amazing story. I hope my purging and “liberating of space” rubs off on my kids too! I am enjoying the process, but am having challenges finding the time to do it around my work, husband, kids, regular housework, etc… keeping up is hard enough wothout actually making decisions about what’s already here too. I know that’s a cop out though. I could spend less time reading insprational blogs and more time doing insprational things, right? (wink wink)
Hi Lindsay, I think your children will thank you later. I had toys but not an overabundance, and my parents made sure that I had time to just “be a kid” meaning that they didn’t schedule me for after school activities constantly. We rarely went out eat or to movies, but we were always doing something together like working on the cars, raking the lawn, or painting the house. As a result I developed a decent work ethic, an ability to withstand delayed gratification, and I’m very close to my family. I’m forever grateful to them for raising me that way :)
This is inspiring to the mother of a materialistic 10yo. But he has slowly come to adopt some of our views; the last time he went to a friend’s house, he came home shaking his head in bewilderment at all his friend’s toys. “It looks like the inside of a Toys R Us store. How can he ever decide what to play with first?”
I never thought of minimalism as a gift before, but it certainly is. Thanks for sharing this.
THANK YOU so much for all the love. We have come a long way since this post was written a few months ago.
@ heather- I hope that more military families will catch onto this way of life. It has completely changed our attitude about PCSing and we now love it. Our goal is to have the movers in and out in half a day :) Wish me luck. We are PCSing sometime in the next few months.
@ Sarah- I agree, less stuff is important, but fewer obligations are also important. This is why I choose to stay home instead of working, this way my kids do not have to go to before and after school care and daycare. Some people think I am crazy because I worked so hard for my AA an my BA, but I am happy with the way my life is right now, especially for my kids. :)
My kids are 41,38 and 34.They never had as much stuff as their friends because I never could stand clutter and mess. know what? It didn’t hurt them at all. One is extremely neat, one is organized and one hoards. I think you have to teach them how to handle money and resources and recycling, reusing and just not buying are useful skills.
We continue to get rid of things we don’t need. My older son came over with 2 big bags of clothes to pass on. He lost 60 pounds and looks great. Yesterday, I saw my younger son, 3 inches taller, wearing his brother’s old sweater. In our family, wearing second hand clothes is a way of life. I often wear shirts my daughter got for free from some charity or as an advertising promotion. They are great for sleeping or wearing under sweatshirts or sweaters. My husband gave me a sweater he was tired of and I have one from my son. I wear them with the sleeves pushed way up and over other things.
We took 3 big bags of clothes to Goodwill yesterday. I have a small wardrobe of clothes I wear over and over and my husband wanted some new things so he had to get rid of some things from his closet. I had a sweat shirt I only wear once a year or so, that was given away. I got 2 pairs of jeans from my son which will fit me when I lose more weight. I have lost 10 lbs already so this is doable.
I dress in black and gray, except for my 2 pairs of jeans. I like jade green, purple and tan for accent colors. Pearls, and turquoise and amethyst necklaces look good and I have jade earrings and bracelets. I’ve noticed women with very expensive purses and jewelry and I am not sure that’s necessary. I restring beads I find at thrift shops and rummage sales.