Not too long ago, I received an email from a reader inquiring about the demographics of minimalists. She was wondering if the urge to purge had any correlation with being the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child.
That’s a great question, but I’m unaware of any polls or studies that have been done on the subject. I’m an oldest child myself. However, there’s someone in my family even more minimalist than me: my younger brother.
Believe it or not, my brother’s lifestyle makes mine look maximalist. He’s single, completely carefree, and has mastered the art of location-independence while working a professional job (he’s a self-employed engineer, and his clients are scattered all over the world). He hasn’t owned a car in over a decade, and all his possessions fit into a carry-on.
Most of the time, I have no idea where he is. Last year, he realized he could live on-the-road for less than he was paying in rent, and has been globetrotting ever since. He plans nothing, and just hops the next cheap flight when he’s ready to move on. While I’ll stay somewhere for three months, he’ll pick up and go after three weeks.
I see him every so often, when he happens to turn up in my neck of the woods. We last met up in Paris, when I was there for a long weekend and he was passing through. We spent the evening at a little bistro, catching up while practicing our not-quite-fluent French.
So I was surprised to receive an email from him recently, saying he was in town for the night. We planned to meet for dinner, but at the appointed time, he still hadn’t shown. I called him on his cell phone, thinking perhaps he’d hopped a last minute flight to some exotic locale.
“Uh no, I’m still coming,” he said. “I’m just having a laundry issue.”
It turned out that the one dress shirt he owns had somehow gotten stuck in the hotel’s washing machine. The concierge had promised to resolve the issue, but still had not done so by the time he had to leave for dinner. To make up for the inconvenience, she asked his size, ran down the street, and purchased him a brand new shirt. He threw it on in the lobby as he was heading out the door, and managed to show up only fifteen minutes late.
Not only was he completely unfazed by this wardrobe malfunction, he was quite pleased with his new shirt. He wasn’t upset or frustrated, but rather amused by the whole experience. It’s a perfect example of how he lives: going with the flow, and trusting that exactly what he needs will come along when he needs it.
A common barrier to minimalism is the compulsion to plan, stock up, or own things “just in case.” When we’re decluttering, we’re often paralyzed by the fear that we’ll find a need tomorrow for what we throw out today. However, as the story above illustrates, things will likely work out just as well (maybe even better!) if we let go, live on the edge, and let things occur as they may.
Anyway, I digress—this post was supposed to address the impact of birth order on minimalism, although I really don’t have the answer to that anyway. I also don’t know (but am curious) as to whether minimalism runs in families. I’m sure my parents wonder what they did to produce two children with such an aversion to “stuff.” We grew up in a neat, well-maintained household with what I’d call a normal amount of possessions—so we certainly weren’t influenced by an extreme environment.
So let’s take an informal poll in the Comments. If you’re a minimalist (or conversely, struggle with clutter issues), are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? Do your siblings or parents have similar tendencies? It’ll be interesting to see if any patterns emerge…
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
i’m the youngest with clutter (but working on it!)
I’m the youngest child in my family. I have one older brother who doesn’t care what crap he’s surrounded with (oh God, I want to declutter his stuff so badly) so long as he has the latest gadget to hand. My mother has definite hoarding tendencies, and her mother is even worse! I went to visit my grandmother for the first time in years recently (she lives a long way away, I’m not just a terrible granddaughter) and she has a big living room, but she can barely fit it in because of all the stuff she’s surrounded herself with. Collecting things from charity shops is her hobby. My father died earlier this year, but he was more of a ‘Everything has a place and everything in its place’ kind of guy, so I guess to some extent I get my habits from his side of the family, although no one has gone to the minimalist extremes I have, their stuff is just really well organised.
My husband and I both are only child. So I am not sure whether there is any correlation. We both used to own a loads of stuff but since last six months de-cluttered almost 60% of our possessions.
My parents are definitely minimalist by nature and by circumstances also. I don’t know how but I became complete junkie in my 20s. But thanks to god and Francine’s blog; I realized it quite early that minimalism brings more joy than the stuff. My parents admire my path towards minimalism.
Thanks for sharing the story. It was great to hear about minimalist sibling. I am sure your parent must be proud of you and your brother.
I am an oldest child and aspiring minimalist.
I grew up in fairly clutter free homes, initially due to financial circumstances but latterly due to living an outdoors expat life. As a child, I had fairly few books, toys & clothes, but always had a much loved bike, skates and several swimsuits!
My sister lives surrounded by stuff. My husband is already fairly minimal and is also an eldest child. Our stuff started to grow when we had children, but we’re quickly and ruthlessly working on it! I feel panicky surrounded by knick-knacks and so calm and peaceful in ‘white boxes’ (and churches!)
My husband and I are minimalists (me perhaps a bit more). I am oldest of 4 and he is youngest of 2. My 3 younger brothers don’t have a tendency one way more than the other. They have some stuff, but they don’t tend to accumulate a ton or purge their stuff very often. My parents were never big on having lots of stuff, which probably influenced me some, but they aren’t actively minimalist either. I was not a minimalist in my high school and early college years, but all the moving from dorm to home to apartment, and then moving once or twice or three times a year with my husband (we’re a military family), being minimalist has made it so much easier!
I’m the oldest of two. My Mother (and probably my Father, too) is a bordeline hoarder. I imagine that’s got something to do with it. I remember being a child and we’d super-clean the house (and jam stuff in extra rooms) when someone was coming. A very clean, straightened and neat living room was always a sign that there was going to be a party or someone special was coming over. Clear surfaces = happiness for me.
I enjoyed this post. I am the yongest of three, my other two siblings are significantly older, well 12 years, that feels significant. Your brother sounds interesting too. I love reading your site Francine, keep up the great work ! xxx
I’m the middle one of 3.
Both parents, brother and other family members are clutterers.
I’m the only minimalist.
Let me answer this poll for you:
minimalism has nothing to do with demographics, nor with family members.
You just need to see the light, either through reading or through someone else showing you the way.
Great post by the way. The extra’s are an issue I’m currently still dealing with. :)
I am the 4th of 5 children. Normal amount of things growing up.
Family fairly neat while growing up.
Only minimalist in the group.
I’m a middle kid. Older & younger sib are less minimalist, sort of moderate. Parents were more keepers than minimalists (but within reason), but kept a lot of more stuff than I’d prefer to deal with post-mortem (theirs). One parent already died & I realized how many things this parent kept beyond the useful life of the item.
I admire your brother. I’m not there yet & may never be, but I’d like to be more carefree & move in that direction
Almost forgot, somewhat related, two minimalist role models I had: husband who packed for a 16 day trip overseas in less than 1/2 an hour, and an acquaintance who lived much of her life in Japan, when I asked how she decided what to bring, she said “What goes in the suitcase goes with, what doesn’t gets left”. Those impressions stay in my mind 17 years later for the first memory and twenty-five years later for the second.
My dad was always like that too when we traveled. One small suitcase for each, and “if it doesn’t fit it doesn’t come.” I always found that a fun challenge — my younger brother and sister griped and complained about it.
Am the oldest of two and, after a packrat childhood where I hated to give up an outgrown toy, I’m now moving towards minimalism.
At least, well, I still sometimes think I have a lot of stuff, but it is not a lot in comparison to friends my age – never mind older people with houses, cars, etc.
At 27, I share a house with 4 other adults, including my partner and my younger brother. The furniture, dishes, cookware, linens, etc we each brought in are now part of a mix-and-match set in the communal rooms. Our (me and my partner) personal stuff (including my spinning wheel, books, out-of-season clothes, computer) has to fit in our bedroom (aprox 3.5×3.5m) and mostly stays there.
My brother (25) is a natural minimalist: he just doesn’t care about stuff, and hasn’t since he was a kid. (He usually saved his pocket money because he didn’t particularly want anything.) All his stuff would fit in a car, I think, if it had a ski-rack :) (We are Swiss)
Our parents aren’t minimalist – my mum hates to get rid of anything which has any kind of value (sentimental, ‘could use’, monetary…) so they still have bath toys from when we were kids, e.g.
I think they are reacting to their childhoods, too: my grandparents (both sides) were necessarily frugal in a more-children-than-money-for-shoes way; my parents reaction to that was to become solid middle-class consumers and, in turn, we are rebelling against that.
what an interesting post! I have sometimes wondered myself. I am the eldest of two and grew up in a neat clean organised house (my parents didnt have much money when I was little). But my mother grew into rather a packrat as she got older I must confess. My brother keeps stuff and I wouldnt say he was a minimalist by any means, just not that conscious of his surroundings. When we were little my things were always kept clean and neat and his stuff was always a mess! So possibly us minimalists are born, not made? Having said that, we can all acquire good habits. I still, after years of decluttering and purging, have the impulse to keep things “just in case”. It is a little battle I fight with myself every time! What a fascinating lifestyle your brother lives Francine! Frances.
Both hubby and I are the youngest. My sister, the middle child, is somewhat pared down, but not to the extreme. My brother, the oldest, is a packrat. Hubby’s middle brother is somewhere in the middle and his older brother is a packrat. I wonder if it has something to do with by the time things got around to being need to be bought or handed down, there wasn’t much left to go around.
Let’s see. My mom and dad are what I call organized packrats. My mother’s mother, my inspiration, was a minimalist. She never kept anything she didn’t want, no matter what. My dad’s parents were hoarders. My mom tends to think if the world is going to end, she must have 102 pairs of shoes and 3000 books, yes 3000!!!! She also cannot buy just one of something, she has to have every color and style. She is the youngest. HMMMM????
I am the oldest child from a big family. I shared a room with my sister who is four years younger. My side was always neat and tidy, while hers looked like a hurricane had just blown through. I’m married to a man who was the youngest, raised as an only child, who is a bit of a pack rat and we appear to be raising three pack-rat young adult daughters. I keep hoping that my example will turn them around. So far, no luck.
I enjoy your blog – thank you for your thoughts and encouragement. I am the youngest of 4 and the only one with a bent toward minimalism. My grandmother was a packrat and so is my mom. My mom is a collector of many things. I started down this same path until about 10 years ago. It has been a steady swim upstream against what my family considers normal. Thankfully I married someone who is supportive of my journey toward minimalism. He enjoys the results of my purges. I have a long way to go before I will call myself a minimalist, but I am on the path.
Interesting question.
I am also the oldest child in the famaly. My parents, while i would not call them horders are not minimalst eather. They tend to keep a lot of stuff “just in case”. My younger brouther tends to just livein the present moment wthout worrying about stuff, he does not care much what sourrounds him, neather having a desire to bring more in nor purge the lot.
Personally I entered minimalism after realising that I prittymuch lived and worked compleatly on the internet andthat everything else was sourplus.
I’m an only. I’m not an extreme minimalist by any means, I own a fairly normal amount of possessions but on the very lean side. I grew up in a very clean, organized home but with a normal amount of possessions.
I’m the 4th of 5 children. My mother was the collector, my dad was not. The oldest definitely has “collection issues” but the rest of us are more normal. I’m definitely the most minimal, although my brother might be able to match me if not for his wife.
Only child here, parents are organized packrats and collectors. Son is only child also; he likes his digital acquisitions but is so far not bothered about thinning out his physical possessions.
I’m the youngest of two amd a semi-minimalist. My brother has 5 motorbikes, a jetboat and 3 cars, plus all sorts of clothes, fishing rods and other toys stashed in the spare bedrooms of his house, so he’s no minimalist. My mother was and is a complete hoarder and our house when we were growing up was embarrasingly untidy. I was determined that my home wouldn’t be like that, and then I got tired of all the work involved cleaning stuff and shifting it around. Have been through stage 1 (declutter of the unloved), stage 2 (declutter of might be useful one day) and am now at stage 3 (what does this really add to my life). Couldn’t imagine if there is a stage 4, or whether I’d be up for it.
I’m an older child of two and an aspiring minimalist (not sure when it is appropriate to drop “aspiring”) with a complicated relationship toward possessions. I would say that my family has “hoarding tendencies” that I seem to have adopted as a child and young adult, and, with effort, have managed to swing the pendulum the other way. However, I still have many more possessions than I would like – mostly of the sentimental nature. It is definitely a process. And I also have to find a way to influence my husband….
My husband and I are both eldest children. We lean toward minimalism and generally do not find it difficult to pare down our belongings. Our younger siblings (we each have one younger sibling) are packrats or hoarders.
I’m the youngest and the only minimalist in the family. (LOVE the digression in the blog post, by the way–your brother sounds like he’s embraced the location independent lifestyle wholeheartedly!)
I am an aspiring minimalist. I’ve made some progress, but still have miles to go. I am an only child. My parents are definitely not minimalists, and I can’t think of anyone in my extended family who would meet that description either.
I am an only child and am a recovering stuff-a-holic. I have been decluttering since 2008 and I love my home’s new look! Growing up, my mom kept our home neat and clean but both she and my dad had a lot of stuff. My new habits are rubbing off on my 14 year old son and, very slowly, my husband, who decluttered a boat load of shoes last night. Yay!
I’m the oldest and an aspiring minimalist. I have a looooooooong way to go! My parents aren’t minimalists however my dad has always been the first to point out that he’s much more peaceful when things are clean and orderly. I think if we had a deep conversation about it I might discover he’s an aspiring minimalist too!
I’m the oldest of three, and I’m also the least minimalist of all of us. I’m not a hoarder by any means, but I definitely have lots of clutter and stuff. I’m trying to declutter some, but I don’t think I’ll ever be really minimalist.
My parents had what I think of as a normal amount of stuff, but probably on the more stuff than the minimalist side (boxes of stuff in the basement, lots of knick knacks, extra kitchen gadgets, etc.)
My youngest sister is quite the minimalist, although not the living out of a suitcase kind like your brother, just the doesn’t have a lot of extra junk and stuff in her home kind. She has (and does) move to different apartments quite a bit, so that might have something to do with it, but then again, it may be that she moves more often because it’s easier because she has less stuff. I wouldn’t move 10 blocks away to save a little on rent or be in a slightly nicer place because of all the trouble it is to move with all my stuff, but she would without hesitation. It’s sort of like the chicken and the egg, does she move more often because she is minimalist, or is she minimalist because she moves more often?
I am the oldest of two by 10 years. We both grew-up in a house were we got everything we ever asked for (and more). Dad cannot get rid of anything he deems sentimental (which is a lot) and mom is constantly striving to get rid of stuff since their house has become the (extended) family dumping/ storing ground. Maternal grandmother was diagnosable as OCD with hoarding tendencies (she had 2 storage units we recently found out about). I like the term above and will appropriate it and describe myself as a semi-minimalist. My brother is a massive, massive collector.
I am the oldest of 2 and am a minimalist. My sister on the other hand, collects everything and doesnt let anything go. my family was normal when we were little. Maybe except for having a cabin upstate and camping out in sleeping tents every other weekend and packing just what we need. that may have something to do with it.
here is my website.. i forgot to add it before.
http://www.thenotsobarenecessities.blogspot.com
I’m a twin…but have always been treated as the oldest. I’ve got just about no clutter…but my twin sister and younger brother are a different story :)
DH and I are both middle children. I’m on-the-way to minimalism; he, while not a packrat, does tend to hang onto stuff. My parents were both only children, but, being what I call “Depression Babies,” hang onto “just in case” items and prized family heirlooms.
No pattern in my family….
I’m the oldest of three. The only minimalist.
Growing up, the house was stuffed to the gills with odd items my father picked up in his travels, and we had even a couple of outbuildings to hold things that wouldn’t fit in the house. These were all fun, crazy things, but they just amounted to too much stuff! When I was a teenager, about 25 years ago, I asked my parents to paint my pale pink, tchotchke-filled bedroom white, and I removed anything unnecessary/unloved. Who knew that I was on to something?
I’m the youngest of three, and the only one who is interested in minimalism. We grew up in a cluttered, chaotic environment. The place I grew up in is much tidier now, but I still lose track of things when I visit unless I am very careful. I have lived in the same small house for 15 years now, and I think it would take moving out to turn me into a true minimalist.
Average horder-ish family.
I am the oldest child and a born minimalist.
My brother is a carefree minimalist. (He is married but has no children yet, so it is easier for him not to plan at all, I suppose. :))
I am an only child, and my entire family has not just clutter tendancies but hoarding ones!
Growing up was pretty painful, I had so much stuff I couldn’t keep my room clean and every time I tried to sell things at our yardsales I’d have to hear endless questions about why I was selling off perfectly good items. I liked cats and art so my family was constantly getting me gifts of cat figurines & junk and fashion/art supplies. Every cute thing ended up piled somewhere on the floor, in the closet or on any surface I could find. It spilled over into the rest of the home and my mom was beside herself.
My mom also had way too much stuff and had trouble parting with anything that could be useful. My grandmother has a MASSIVE collection of dolls & toys, and a garage full of stuff that she might need some day like old newspapers, styrofoam trays and plastic containers. At every family gathering she reminds us to save our plastic utensils so she can wash and keep them. My other family all have houses packed full of junk as well, each person with their own spin on what it is they collect. The least affected is one who mostly only collects music – but has hundreds of CD’s.
Fortunately I had a bit of a mid-life crisis around 28/30 and through that realized that most aspects of modern life stress me out so much that I freeze up. Having stuff has been a massive source of stress for me, I can’t find things I need because there are too many that I don’t need, I stress about damage to it or moving it, I stress just by seeing too much clutter anywhere in my life. Stuff has been causing me depression for far too long, so the process of purging is now well under way for me. In fact, this weekend a ton of stuff is getting trashed and donated and I’m very excited about it!
Oldest of two, but my brother is still young so he has time to change. I doubt he will, though, because I was already a declutterer when I was a small girl. My parents are not even close to minimalists so I’m a bit of a black sheep in my family and even I’m not that much of a minimalist (yet :)).
Oldest of 2, my younger sibling has a severe disability and I have been her caretaker at times (mostly in childhood). My mother is a hoarder. I do think both of those things have been influential. I felt trapped and suffocated when young–as an adult I seek the least physical commitments possible.
I’m in a way a middle child AND the oldest; my two older siblings were adopted as infants, then I came along (surprise!) 3+ years later, and then my younger brother was born 2+ years later. I’d call myself a minimalist, my older brother and younger brother have what I’d consider an average amount of clutter, but my sister has lots. Like your family, I think in our family a more interesting study would be one related to genetics. My younger brother and I definitely think more alike when it comes to our clutter (among other things). We release things easily and hold onto little sentimental stuff.
I am the younger of two for my mother, only child for my father. My husband and I are aspiring minimalists, although he was sort of one before I came into the picture. My half sister loves to shop for clothing and makeup while I never truly enjoyed doing so. My mother is a huge hoarder. She holds onto everything in the event :insert something unlikely: happens. My father, who I take after (I was a huge daddy’s girl as a child), sees value in a few meaningful possessions. He’s perfectly happy with a great book, clothing to keep him warm and something dangerously sugary on his plate.
I am the oldest of two. I am still working towards minimalism, slowly but surely. The one thing that is spurring me on is that I now live with my parents (at the ripe old age of 28) in a very small house, and seeing the amount of things they had to have shipped back with them and how quickly they are filling up every available storage space makes me completely claustrophobic and even more determined. In fact, I plan on moving this summer with just what I can fit in my car.
My younger (colleg-attending) sister is finally beginning to weed out her possessions as well – with the exception of alot of books and a packed-to-the-brim cedar chest.
Growing up we never had alot of “stuff” but my mom is a very craft-oriented person so there was always one project or 10 spread out all over the house. My mom’s mother is very much a packrat, as are quite a few of her siblings. My dad’s parents are less so (my grandmother was an ER nurse and keeps her house obsessively clean).
I am an only child, and have always had an irrational attachment to stuff. It is probably because, while not spoiled, I always had a lot of toys, and tended to play by myself most of the time, so these toys became like my ‘friends’. During my teenage years I had huge trouble throwing anything away, and it is only recently that I have overcome this, and begun to liberate myself from my material possessions. ‘Liberate’ may seem like a strong word, but I truly do feel a sense of freedom now that I am not constantly thinking and worrying about all my stuff!
I am the mmiddle child, but only girl and born 6 years after brother so I consider myself a first born. My parents were on the verge of being hoarders. I collected quite a bit of stuff as I was raising my family, but as they are emptying the nest, I am working to clear it out even more. I am enjoying the space it brings. My husband’s mother is quite a collector of stuff, and he tends toward it as well, keeping things without even remembering he has them. He’s the baby of 5.
I believe I have raised a family of packrats myself though. I hope they can move beyond it!
Great discussion!
Bernice
Letting go of perfect
How on earth do you consider yourself a first born? 6 years is not a huge gap by any means!
(Maybe there are some details I don’t know about, sorry – I didn’t mean to come off as rude)
Haha! I consider my 3 younger sisters to all have the youngest kid mindset. One was born 2 years after me, but she was the youngest for 10 years until the next was born. This third child has learning disabilities, and has always acted like a youngest child. Then there is the fourth, the actual youngest child. Interesting how family dynamics work :P All in all it made my life somewhat hellish because I was given responsibility over them but they never wanted to listen to me because I wasn’t their mom.
Oldest of 4 girls (2 much younger).
Family owns a “normal” amount of stuff. Mom was always slightly irritated by seeing clutter, but generally prefers to store her things instead of let go of them (though she always has a “sell” pile). I was always obsessed with organizing my things, but since reading Your Money or Your Life a few years ago I’ve been cutting down a great deal, to the point where I stopped reading organizing books for fun and now stick with books & blogs with minimalist ideas. I used to not be too bothered by my family’s stuff – it was more their disorganization, compared to my standards, that bothered me. Now it’s an inspiration to further de-clutter.
I suppose I’ve always been very concerned with My Stuff (I never liked to spread it around the house, I was always trying to find ways of maximizing the organization and efficiency of it, and I liked to purge things I no longer “needed”), but I realize now that it’s just easier (and more freeing!) to have a lot less of it. It seems to me that I was born with a personality that suited minimalism, and my constant purging of things I didn’t want points to that, but I wasn’t really exposed to that way of thinking or living in any meaningful way until I “discovered” it myself in my late 20s. My naturally uber-organized self has always liked to be prepared for whatever will happen, which means keeping more than I need (and being a chronic over-packer). This is especially true of very mundane things like containers! I might get rid of everything in a container and then hold onto the container for weeks or months because it might be the best organizational tool for some other items I want to keep. This is my biggest struggle, but I’ve come a long way :)
I am the oldest, have a younger sister. And I’m aspiring to be like your brother, although right now I still have more things than a suitcase-worth. :-D My sister is not a minimalist in terms of design and decoration (I prefer to have blank walls and nothing laying around on the floor/desk/etc but she likes to have pictures up and flowery bedspreads and such) but she does limit her spending (she buys only necessities) and understands the value of the dollar. Yay!
My mom and dad, on the other hand, are semi-hoarders. We moved around a lot as I was growing up (changing a number of countries and cultures and languages and STUFF) so now that they’re mostly settled down, they feel like they want to make up for lost time. They have piles of books on the shelves (and in boxes in the basement) and clothes (they keep everything in case they need it again) and computers (my dad is a programmer and he can’t throw out anything tech, just can’t do it).
My parents are very good in terms of spending money on stuff they don’t need (very good, in fact) but they are bad at throwing out things they don’t need ANY MORE. And yet, they’re getting much better now, because they like how my room looks and feels, without all the extra stuff. They’ve actually done some work to declutter the living space and the basement! They probably will never be as minimalist as me but maybe they don’t need to be.
I’m the oldest of two who is working on minimalism in our family of six. We’re getting there slowly. We’ll see how it goes when my parents (not minimalists) come to visit for the winter. I don’t know about my little brother. Their home doesn’t look cluttered, but I haven’t peaked in the closets.
i am the youngest. my one older sister is not a minimalist. i think i get this tendency from my mother who loves to throw things away. she likes to tell people that what she has in her closet are the clothes she wears and nothing more. ironically, she loves to shop for me and gives me endless gifts of clothes and jewelry, which makes it difficult for me to pursue minimalism.
everytime she gives me something, i try to do the one in, one out rule, so that it doesn’t pile up. she seems to think giving me new things will make me happier, when actually i’d be happier with less. it’s a work in progess. i am always looking for things i can get rid of or do without though. holidays and my birthdays are tough because no matter how many times i tell my aunts not to buy me stuff, they always do and it’s hardly ever anything that is my taste or that is useful to me.
i almost always have a bag of donations to give her of clothes/books, etc when she comes to visit, that she sends out to our poorer relatives in colombia or to the salvation army.
growing up i remember telling my parents that i didn’t want anything in particular for christmas and my older sister telling me to ask for something so that she doesn’t look bad! but there really wasn’t anything i wanted.
I’m the middle child of three girls. Minimalist, vegan, eco conscious – I’m literally the black sheep.
Sisters are VERY materialistic. Mother feels compelled to buy everything that’s on sale – regardless of its uselessness. She’s definitely a packrat. And neurotic. Everything is saved for some future use. My Dad is like your brother – very go with the flow.
They grew up with very little. Getting through university was a struggle – at some point my dads family didn’t know if they could pay the next year. Literally everything he owned fit in a duffle bag – including his textbooks and single pair of shoes that had to be glued together every morning and would fall apart by the afternoon. My mum couldn’t afford half her meals for the first year – and screwed up her digestion as a result.
So I think these experiences are what drove them so hard to secure financial and material comfort, especially for us kids. After such a long “famine” so to speak, when it came time for the feast everything was savoured. We have garage full of crap that we’ve dragged through four house moves. When I suggest to get rid of it my mother blanches.
So I can’t hold anything against them. They sure as hell deserve it. But it really stresses me out. Four televisions, four laptops, a computer, a wii, at least half a dozen phones and mp3 players…oy vey. Dreaming of my own place..nice and streamline. And QUIET, lol.
Only child, but I’m not the perfect minimalist either. I think it’s more of a gender issue where minimalism is concerned. Women generally have to have more stuff especially if they are still in careers/have children/etc. I don’t want to own makeup, but it’s a must for me right now. Plus, we place a greater value on possessions I think due to memories and being maternal in nature as most women are. While I don’t wear that ring, my mother gave it to me or my father or my grandmother, etc. So we hang onto it. Guys don’t do that sort of thing. It’s why I finally gave up buying a card for my husband everytime our anniversary/his birthday/etc. came around. It just didn’t mean as much to him as it did to me.
I am the youngest of 2 and the only minimalist in sight, including all the extended family on either side that I am aware of.