Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, we have a first here in the Real Life Minimalist series: an update from a former participant! We originally heard from Heather over a year ago, and now she’s checking back in to tell us the progress she’s made on her minimalist journey.
Heather writes:
Heather
Where we are now? (and you asked for a minimalist family)
We have decided to downsize even more and move into a one bedroom apartment. YIPPPPPEEEE!!! This will be myself, hubby, 5 year old son, 1 Boxer and 2 cats…and I couldn’t be happier. We have decided for 1 year, we will work our backsides off to finish off our debt and smaller size means smaller bills. I have been decluttering, purging, selling what I can, but mostly donating everything. I am super excited and I am glad hubby has sided with me and is happy about the decision. We are going to have to buy a love seat sofa with a bed in it for my son. He thinks of it as camping and loved it when we stayed at an extend a stay hotel last summer. It’s exciting to figure out how to store things and make a comfortable home in a small place. We are lucky that we live in Texas, so the outdoors beckon us a lot- we like to ride out bikes, swim, go tubing, walk, etc…so this is perfect for us. I realized in our downsizing, 90% of the stuff was mine..really…hubby has very little, with most of it being in the garage. : ) I realized that I really do set the tone of our home. I picture something quaint, simple, and clean but cozy. I have lots of ideas for storage for things.
The average size of the 1 bedroom apartments that we have been looking at are around 550-725 square feet. Things I have noticed will work best for us…straight rooms. We have looked at some really nice architecturally beautiful places, but all those angles eat up space. Rectangular seems to work best for what we are going to need. Kitchen- we don’t need anything huge. We looked at one but once we realized it at up 1/3 of our space, we decided smaller would work better. Closets- the one we really like has one huge walk in closet in the bedroom and that is it. There would be enough storage in the kitchen/pantry/washer/dryer area for small item storage and then the walk in can be for just clothes, shoes and a bin of holiday items. I have also bought a beautiful leather bench that has storage in it. This will go in the living room and be used for my son’s toys. He is very excited about this as he loves to hide things away. Dual purpose items rock. We are also choosing something on the second floor for a view and this has made me think about how many times I want to run up those stairs with boxes.
When we came home from apartment hunting, we realized we needed to really purge some more. It has been a lot of fun. We measured out the square footage in our current home and we are only living in those rooms to see how things would fit… our Master w/bath, living room, kitchen and the washer/dryer area. We closed off the 2 extra bedrooms and bath. It’s been eye opening but fun. Most people would probably think we are crazy but I feel very European. : )
Another area I have worked on is…drumroollllllll…I closed my Facebook account. I was never obsessed but when someone ranted on about something I posted as my status, thinking I wasn’t friends with this person and dragged my name all over FB for everyone to read, I was out. I mean, leave my name out of it and rant away. It just hit me how people act so rudely when they can type something but probably wouldn’t be able to defend themselves in person and how disconnected we truly are. And thus, I realized, I need real people in my life. Those who I can trust, have deep talks, argue ; ) , hug, tell them I love them and just be real with them. Be more authentic.
I also listed my top 5 priorities and realized I needed to get busy, simple as that. The amount of time I have been putting into them is paying off BIG time, gone are the distractions, in are the important things in my life. It’s been lovely.
I fondly think back to my childhood and my dreams of living in Europe. I don’t know where I got this from because there was no internet when I grew up, just the library and lots of old black and white films. Oh Audrey, how you inspired me. Where did that dream of simplicity go? Where was my sense of satisfactions and just silly fun? I let life get in the way for too long. Sure, I still have to work, do laundry and make dinner, but I can do it on my terms.
I remember my time in the military, having been around the world twice, always fascinated at how other people live. I saw small huts along the warm waters of Guam, the tiny apartments of Hong Kong, and the tents in the Middle East deserts. It all called to me for a more simple life and existence, but I was afraid. Could I live my childhood dream of a Paris apartment in the middle of Texas? Well, yes, yes I can and it just takes the courage to do so. I want less…I want to be able to have more passion, love, excitement, adventure, all that I can’t buy at a store.
Minimalism is not a lifestyle for me, it’s just how I live, if that makes sense. It is just how I always lived and I feel my happiest with less stuff and more living. In light on recent disasters from Japan to the American South, perspective has come into focus for me. I am ready to put myself out there, with less stuff and more life.
A few things about me. I work a regular 9-5 job that I don’t mind so much. It took me 20 years and a complete career change to find it. It can be done—even in your mid 30’s. I have a natural tendency not to collect items or things. Always been that way so maybe things come more natural to me but I am big believer that everyone can change for what they REALLY want. I am by far not rich, not even close- no inheritance, no cash cow, lottery or otherwise. Just 2 hardworking blue collar workers. It is a joy to raise my son and give him lots of valuable memories and opportunities over things, I value memories and friendships and I tend to smile a lot, know how to say No, break out into spontaneous dancing and I like high heels. Thanks. : )
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
What a great post to read! So much positivism and energy!
What a lovely post! I feel the author’s excitement and agree that minimizing and right-sizing our lifestyles IS such a joy. Thank you, Heather.
Heather, you are too cool. Love how many times the word “fun” appears in your post. Way to go, girl!
Look!!! There I am!!! Thanks for the kind words y’all.
Great post. And motivating as I am starting to downsize now that I am close to having an empty nest. I especially like the facebook part. I can identify, but for me, “cleaning” out my friends list makes more since as I have family from different countries I like to keep up with. But am thinking of removing “toxic” friends.
Heather,
I love how you ended the post sharing that you love high heels! I don’t know. Something about that made me feel like I know you (even though I don’t wear heels:). This line also resonated with me, “Where did that dream of simplicity go? Where was my sense of satisfactions and just silly fun?”
I felt that same sensation so many times in my life before simplifying. Everything had just gotten “complicated” and I was no longer satisfied with what I had (which was a lot). Returning to the path of a simple lifestyle put back in touch with that fun, light-hearted side of myself, just like it did for you!
I also love the way you mentioned your Paris apartment in Texas. We’d love to see pictures when you move in! It sounds glamorous and streamlined and joyful.
Cheers,
Tanja
Tanja, I have loved your blog from the beginning. I think we are kindred minimalist. I will let you wear my heels anytime. : )
I love that you gave up Facebook. Clap! Clap! Clap! I truly feel that technology has provided too much clutter, too many amusing distractions that cloud the minimalist lifestyle and can, if we let it, enslave us. I unplugged a long time ago and I encourage others to do so as much as they are able. It is really liberating. I agree with you, there is nothing like a face-to-face connection and sometimes civility is lost in the social network. Good luck in your apartment hunting. It all sound very exciting.
I was tired of arguing with people that barely knew me but obviously felt they needed to tell me how it is. I am also kinda of a private person on some level, so I felt too exposed. And the fact that I can’t really keep up with 500 people, likes,photos, games, groups, etc…tooooooo much!!!!
Thank you, Heather! Your post simply radiates happiness and a positive outlook on life :)
Awwww…all y’all are making my day. The funny thing is, y’all are the reason I started this journey. I know y’all from your blogs, posts, ideas and motivation, which have given me the strength and the push to keep going. As we speak, I am pushing myself further into minimalism. I set aside 2 buckets and before we make the move, I am determined to fill them. I already have 1 half full. Thanks y’all!!! : )
Beautiful post Heather…and yes, you can create the Paris life in Texas! It’s so empowering to wrap your mind around the kind of life that will make you happy. Thanks for sharing your progress! I’m slowly getting my husband on board with the real simple me. Thanks to posts such as yours, it keeps me so inspired!
Great post, Heather. You are a modern day trail blazer! Your son will grow up with wonderful memories and values and what fun you all will have in the process.
Please come back and post pictures of your new apartment. :)
Will do…I am trying to conquer my new camera that I still can’t function. : ) But once we get settled, I will take some pics. : )
It was so nice to read that you’re going to make the life you want where you live instead of looking the life in places that have inspired you. I wonder if it’s so that everything we wish for we can allow ourselves to have if we stop demanding them in some exact forms from our dreams but instead are open to them how they manifest in our real lives.
Great post Heather,I got a real lift reading this, Living your life the way you want too Love it..
Heather! That’s amazing! I love your goals for a smaller space especially with a child and pets in the mix. I have enough trouble carving out privacy (which is sacred to me) in my 1100 sqft home with 2 levels (myself, husband, 2 boys, dog and cat).
I am 100% with you about FB though. I started, I tried, I got really annoyed and I cancelled it. My life is fine without it, but people still always ASSUME that I am up on every little detail of their lives all the time. “When did THAT happen?” I ask them, and they say (quite offhandedly) “How did you not know, it’s on my FB page!” Then I have to remind them for the 100th time… I DON’T HAVE A FB PAGE. Then they of course tell me I SHOULD be so I could keep in touch with SO MANY people. That’s a load of BS. With a FB account I can spy on a bunch of people and see exactly what they want to show me (sometimes TMI), THAT is not keeping in touch. I can see it’s value in some situations, but I’d rather pick up the phone and hear the voice of the people I care about. Or write an email to them that is just for them, personalized and relevant.
I hope you have more fun with this Heather, keep us updated!
*pol – I absolutely agree with you about FB. Hate it. I think it is more of a place for people to be rude, say outrageous things and post bad pictures. And don’t even get me started on the time consuming factor.
Love the follow up, Heather! Have you thought about getting a daybed? They can easily double as a loveseat and if you get one with a trundle you can extend the sleep space. I think that the mattress quality would be better in the long run, especially if you are looking for something that is going to be used as both a couch and bed on a daily basis.
I think this is the one we are going to get…it is so comfy…
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S79875300
Heather, this is totally inspiring! I agree with Miami’s comment about making the life you want right where you are, instead of always looking somewhere else or demanding that it happen in some exact format. Living like you’re in Paris even though you’re in Texas is a fantastic example of opening your eyes to the happy possibilities all around you instead of discontentedly wanting some imaginary *more*! That’s TRUE minimalism! I’m so happy for you in your big adventure!
I agree with others, Heather, you’re so inspiring!
I’m on a quest to do the same. I’m older (51) and saddled with a big house, but trying to pare down and begin to live minimally so we can one day sell the house and downsize dramatically.
Thanks for your great attitude and ideas, you rock!
No, y’all are inspiring…really!!!! : )
You certainly have you sh** together. You are a great inspiration and source of energy to my own endeavours. Keep up the brilliant work !
Thank you!!!! : )
I understand you Heather because I’m the same type of person. I was never happier than when I was in the military and living out of a duffel bag. 25 years later I am single parenting teenagers and a college student and over the last year got rid of 75-80% of my belongings. I’m going to put my house up for sale in a year and I want a tiny place. I’m naturally a minimalist too, always have been and am considering living on solar wind/power, a few chicks and a simple life. My kids think I’m crazy but the memories of Germany and how they lived there with their tiny apartments still stay with me. I am now after a year of decluttering and having the house fixed up and ready to sell, finding myself in a “waiting period” with the Lord who I know will instruct, guide and lead me on this journey. Since I am a visual person too, I have 3 requirements for my current and future homes. 1. Simple/minimalist 2. Cozy 3. Beautiful. I believe things should be “practical and pretty.” If it doesn’t serve a purpose, it goes, but if it’s practical, like a nice look (it’s a visualist’s thing). I’ve been debt free for years and it’s because of being a “minsumer” as Francine says. God bless on your journey because it sounds like you know what’s important in life…people, not things.
God Bless you too~!!! I know you are going to have fun. : )
This FB thing…never had one, no cable, never had a cell phone, no call waiting, caller ID, none of that. But that leaves time for real people, reflecting, planning and hearing God’s voice. I hate that my kids have a FB page, but don’t feel I should tell them not to have one if they are responsible on it. I’ve even started a new habit of not listening to the radio on my car drives. I never knew how much noisy clutter there is in life too. Didn’t mean to go off on another subject but Heather mentioning she closed her FB is great and can lead to closing other stuff out too. Sometimes people get scared and think life is too quiet and lonely, but it’s not. It’s peaceful and you can listen to your gut and not be confused by external societal messages. I read this post daily, I love this website and usually not chatty but this is a great subject.
Sadly, I have a hubby who is addicted to TV…but I am working on him. : ) Part of this newer journey for me as been listening to my inner voice more and getting more in touch with my spiritual side. So much has changed in the past year, month, week even. FB was fun in the beginning but then I realized WHY I don’t keep in touch with these people. HA!!!
hi Heather
this is fun! and so inspiring.
the japanese have a saying: “everything that’s needful should be practical, and
everything that’s practical should be beautiful.” something like that. for me, the gist
of it translates into this post. agree completely with Miami and Karen T. –
kudos to you for sculpting out the life you want to live, while staying right where
you are. btw, German filmmaker Wim Wenders was so inspired by the Texas landscape
he dedicated a film to it, and it’s called “Paris, Texas.” geographical accuracy meets
poetic justice.
thanks so much!
kaori
Heather, I am joining the list of people who feel your post was inspiring. :) I’m a mummy myself (to three humans and 1 parrot) and going on the minimalist journey has been a bumpy one (with all the family stuff that everyone thinks is ‘required’) but boy oh boy am I ever so happy the more I set myself free of ‘stuff’ – But mostly happy because I’m letting go of the *perceived need* for stuff. I think that’s the most liberating. I look forward to hearing more about your journey – A blog perhaps? :D
As for me, I’ll write in to Francine soon, with some pics too. I’m *so* almost there on the visual simplicity side (i.e clutter) and about half way there mentally.. But I know I’m going to get there eventually. Your post has put me in such a good mood! Thanks Heather! :)
Your little guy is one lucky boy to have a mom like you! Love how you are aligning your lifestyle with your priorities. Something that can be very challenging to do with all the noise.
This morning I was thinking about how Americans so often admire a European lifestyle and quality of life. Interestingly, the things Americans tend to focus on are the material goods in Europe. French china, Italian food, English furniture, French clothes, the cuisines, and on and on. But, the European lifestyle has nothing to do with the material things they own (though many of them are lovely), rather it has to do with the way they prioritize family, friends and living rather than work, status and material goods. I would say a “French lifestyle” can be as simple as burgers and potato salad in the local park with friends and family. It’s the relationships, NOT the setting.
My husband and I have been talking about doing the same thing your family is doing: selling our condo and moving into an apartment until we are debt-free and able to do all of the traveling we’ve been wanting to do for years! Thanks for sharing your story. It makes for a nice feeling of solidarity! Our plan seems so unusual, and I feel like we’re really going against the flow, but I think it will be so liberating in the end.
P.S. I break out into spontaneous dancing too! A kindred spirit… :)
Y’all are making me feel so happy. Thank y’all for the nice compliments. I really do appreciate it.
I am thinking about starting a blog but right now, I am so dang busy, I can barely keep up. I might try it at the end of summer. Hubby say I talk too much, so why not put it in a blog??? ; )
One of my personal goals is when my son is older and moved out and responsible (God willing), I want to downsize even more and travel. I want to have everything I physically own fit into a suitcase and a tote (Thanks Ms. Francine for the inspiration). I would still work a little here and there but I could travel full time and enjoy myself.
I just might go work on that blog today. NOW I have so much to say. LOL.
I really enjoyed reading about your downsizing, Heather! We are at a different place, soon-to-be empty nesters. We have lived in our home 22 years and it got quite filled for a while! Now that the kids are moving out, we are considering doing some traveling around the country, vagabonding if you will, maybe purchasing a vintage RV to live in. Even though I have been reducing our items, it will be interesting to see if we could get THAT small! The plan would be to rent our house out, so our stuff would have to go. You mentioned your hubby and his garage, my husband has a shed that I can’t even walk in. So needs to be purged!
Thanks for sharing your story, and good luck with your “Paris” apartment!
Bernice
Letting go of perfect
Kudos to you, Heather..Even moreso for dumping the facebook account. I’m on the verge of doing that myself.
Perfect!
DH and I went through much the same thing in the mid-90’s and have been debt-free for 16 years now. The beauty part is that once you are debt-free, you can begin to accumulate wealth. You’ve made some big sacrifices and, as a result, will have many more options & choices for the rest of your lives that others can only dream about.
Good for you!
Heather – you are an inspiration. I love that you are mid-30s and not afraid/ashamed to leave a house to move into an apartment. Apartment living has some serious pluses that house-owning does not.
Bree, I work with CEO’s and the like, a lot of whom are quite humble about the life they have, which is suprising to me. I was having a conversation with the wife of our CFO the other day and she asked me where we were moving too. She sighed and wished she could do the same, for she is tired of maintaining a huge home. : ) That made me happy.
Never be ashamed of what one has or who you are.
We may someday buy a little 2 bedroom house with some land for some more dogs and cats, as we would like to do animal rescue. Nothing major, just a basic model with a bathroom and a kitchen/living room and an awesome porch. ; ) I would like to install solar panels also.
I am so inspired by your post. I spent a summer studying in Amsterdam and ever since have longed for the place. Your post made me realize that it’s likely not so much the place but the feeling that i yearn. The breeze, minimal clothes and furniture, white walls, and the serenity of silence (or rather the absence of a t.v. and phone) was bliss (not the Amsterdam that most tourist think of). You’ve taught me that I can bring Netherlands home. Don’t get me wrong though, I would love a canal outside my window. :)
OH that sounds lovely!!!! : )
I refuse to Facebook. I have no desire to keep up with people who are not part of my intimate circle of friends. I do not need to communicate with old high school mates I didn’t like then and still won’t like now. I have no desire to post stupid tweets about my life in 140 words or less. And I don’t care about yours either. We are in way over our heads with technology and communicating are up-to-the-minute ideas and stupid thoughts. If you are my friend or family, you know where I am. You have my phone number and will call. I don’t need to send you an instant message or text you 20 times an hour. It is just too much. No one has that interesting of a life and I am more concerned with my personal space than your ramblings. Don’t interfere with my time and I’ll do the same. And I don’t argue with stangers on blog posts or message boards – there is enough stress in the world and who needs more?
I agree with you completely about privacy, facebook, & technology. I do a lot of my work on the computer and I consider myself pretty tech-savvy, but I am proud to say that I never jumped on the myspace/facebook/twitter bandwagon. I just never saw any reason to do so. It may be useful for some people, but not for me. I have had the same best friend since 7th grade (25 years so far…) and anyone else from high school that I want to be in contact with, I never lost contact with, so a lot of those social networking sites would be huge time suckers for me & I don’t need that:) Technology is great in many ways, but sometimes we forget how or why to unplug…
I love this! Wow. So not preachy and just…so …easy. I dream of Paris too, and I totally understand what you are saying about the Facebook thing. I am weaning myself off it and already it seems I get more worthwhile stuff done. I can’t believe in the past I have used it while my baby daughter is playing on the floor. Ugh. No more. I am not yet a minimalist – I have a LOT of stuff issues to get through, but …so inspired by this. Thank you.
Oh thanks Elyse…I like to be more whacky than preachy. I think everyone has to find their bliss and no one else should judge it. :)
I love the stories about downsizing. We moved from a house to a condo, but our friends bought bigger houses as they became empty nesters. We could live in a smaller space than we do but we keep a guest room. I think of what I would get rid of if I were to downsize further. There are 4 chairs and 2 bookcases I could part with for sure.
If I were to downsize further, my DH would have to move his telescopes out. My son would have to find a permanent place and take his books. My mother’s out of season clothes would have to go someplace. My daughter would have to take her wedding china. Right now, all that stuff is neatly put away. In a smaller place, it would be in my way.
My son got married and moved out. Took a bunch of his stuff. Got rid of most of my Mom’s stuff when she died. Got rid of a lot of dishes, clothes and books. Always more that can go.