Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, Ruthie tells us about a huge transition in her life, and how adopting a minimalist lifestyle made it a rewarding experience. She also shares the five lessons she learned, which I think you’ll find quite inspirational!
Ruthie writes:
Ruthie
Some people say they were born minimalists. I am not so sure about me. I have always practiced a healthy detachment towards possessions — my mom taught me “you can’t LOVE an inanimate object!” — but I also seemed to accumulate a lot of them. In fact, this time last year, I had a house that I ‘loved’, which needed a lot of repairs and was absolutely full of stuff. In fact, even though I hate to admit this, I had a whole spare bedroom full of stuff I didn’t need or use or even look at! I didn’t even like to go in there. It was “stuff” in the purest form of the word. I possibly could have ended up on Hoarders if life didn’t intervene.
Basically, my husband quit his job and decided to go back to school in a different city. Luckily it was near where my parents live, so we could stay with them until our house sold. Thank goodness I had been reading Miss Minimalist before this transpired. He officially accepted his position around Thanksgiving, so we had about a month to do emergency repairs to our house and get rid of most of our stuff. I was sad to leave our house and friends, but I felt an amazing sense of relief. We took load after load of things to Goodwill. We put things out on the side of the road with a “Free” sign. We posted them on Facebook. And if they were completely useless, broken things, we bit our environmentalist bullet and tossed them out. We survived, and from this side of that hurdle, it was totally worth it.
We still have a little more than we need. “Declutter” is always on my to-do list, especially since soon we’ll move into our own tiny apartment (our house sold!). I wouldn’t recommend this form of slap-dash minimalism for everyone. But for us, it’s been wonderful. I have been amazed as to how all of that physical clutter was crowding my thoughts. Here are 5 things that I have learned during this crazy year:
1. Make a list of five things that are truly important to you, and analyze all the other things in your life and see if it makes sense to spend so much time on them. (Mine are: My husband, my pets, my health, helping others and being good to Mother Earth)
2. IT’S OKAY to quit your hobbies if they don’t fit into your priorities. It’s TOTALLY fine to admit to yourself that you don’t give a flip about something you used to think was the bee’s knees. When you die, your obituary will not read “She thought that maybe she wanted to sew slip covers for her couch but then she decided against it.” Once you’ve quit, you can donate your supplies to someone who really will use them.
3. Everything and I mean everything! is transient. Why? Because LIFE is transient! When I was going through all this, my sister had just gone through a divorce and my friend has developed terminal cancer. There is no way to know what tomorrow will bring, so why put so much stock into it? Live, love, learn and play as best as you can today.
4. Minimalism means you can do anything you want to, even if for a long time you thought you couldn’t. This is what happened to me after I made my list (#1) and quit a lot of my unsatisfying hobbies (#2). I realized that I always had a great admiration for nurses, who help others for a living. Even though I am working full time, I have more free time due to cutting back on my huge list of hobbies, so I decided to look into taking my pre-requisites for nursing school. I started back to school this Summer, even though I believed I was done with school. I have been reassuring myself that even if I find out nursing school or nursing isn’t for me, it won’t be the end of the world! Everything is transient, after all. With clutter out of the way, anything is possible.
5. Minimalism means you question the validity of adding anything to your life. Before you commit to anything, whether it’s a purchase, a hobby, a relationship or an opinion, you have to stop and consider the long term implications of that decision.
Go forth and declutter the world. Just remember: the best things in life aren’t things. :)
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
I love this. How everything is transient and it’s okay to change and grow and abandon previous interests and start new careers or whatever.
I am currently thinking about where I’m headed – I’m a painter but since becoming mom my priorities have changed and I have done very little work. I know I need to create SOMETHING, but I’m not so sure about painting anymore… I’ve been writing a blog post about it in my head, I will try to get it out of there..
Brilliant! Her comment about one’s epitaph is particularly memorable. Thank you, as always, for providing a platform for meeting these minimalists.
Wow, this is absolutely inspiring! I love it and laughed at point number two! Excellent way to make an important point through humor.:)
“With clutter out of the way, anything is possible!” AMEN, SISTER!
“The best things in life aren’t things”. That’s the most beautiful sentence I’ve read this year.
Thanks for sharing, Ruthie.
Great post! I, too, had a change of priorities when we had to move out of state last year. Stuff isn’t important; people are. Now I feel lighter than ever! Good luck to you!
I’m still struggling with Nr. 2 – if it’s really been a hobby I put a lot of effort into, like learning to play an instrument, I just can’t give it away – and indeed, some few times a year I feel the urge to play. Still, it’s not used on a regular basis anymore.
If you still play even just a few times a year, & enjoy doing so, then to me that is still an “alive” hobby.
Instruments are difficult, for sure. If it is a large instrument, it’s even harder.
You have to determine whether or not a few times a year is worth it for the amount of space it takes in your home, budget and most importantly, mind. Does seeing it inspire guilt for the lack of time you have for it or despair for changes that have occurred in your life? Are those emotions worth it to keep it around?
Remember that removing an item from your life does NOT remove the skill and talent. You will always be able to play if another opportunity comes into your life. :)
Ruthie- Your last point completely hit home for me! I think that’s why minimalism is a requirement for my survival. I had ADHD, so am great at making impulsive decisions; thus meaning, I tend to take on too much when I could have stopped, thought, and chose a different path. Although I have relatively succeeded in the item department of minimalism, I’m working towards the mental aspects. I’ll definitely be keeping #5 in mind. Thank you for such a great, thoughtful post! Good luck on your journey :)
Ruthie, this has to be one of the most inspiring posts I’ve read yet. It is true that none of us know what each day holds, so live life to the fullest and stop focusing on keeping “stuff”.
Ruthie,
This is a fantastic story and some great life lessons learned! Thank you for sharing.
Peace, Duane
This post really spoke to me. I listed my five things and all of the important aspects of my life will thrive without “stuff”. I used to love scrapbooking or I thought I did. I really enjoyed buying the materials but never really finished any projects. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will not scrapbook in the manner that I thought I would. I am donating the supplies to my mom’s retirement community. I’ve started letting go of things. I find it very difficult to create the time to rid myself of “stuff” but I know that perserverance is key. Thank you for your work. I truly enjoy reading the posts.
Really love this post. The point about giving up hobbies was an excellent perspective. “The best things in life aren’t things” is so simple yet so powerful!
Wonderful post! I like your list, I hadn’t realized it but minimalism is shaping my thought process in a way you mentioned in #5. I don’t become close to just anyone and I’ve been picky in my job hunt (so far I haven’t really needed the money, thank God), but I think this holding out is for the best :)
Sorry Ruthie, but i liked so much yours five lessos that i shared it in my blog http://atividaderasta.wordpress.com/
Hug to you from Brazil.
Love the epitaph. I will keep it in mind.
When I went through divorce, (20 years ago), I think I adopted the minimalist mind. I was already not attached to material possession, but going through divorce forced me to contemplate my priorities which were my children, our physical and mental health, my newly started career, (for financial security for my children), my relationships and making my small space seem like a big space by avoiding clutter, so my children would feel comfortable in their new home. It is not new advice, but I took “not saying yes right away to anything” to heart. I vowed never to be overcommitted, because my real priorities would suffer. I think taking stock and taking inventory of one’s mind and heart is important. You know what they say about the unexamined life. Great post. Very inspiring and it makes me want to list my current priorities out just to see how I’m measuring up.
I know a lot of people who seem frazzled, while breathlessly tell me how busy they are all of the time, how busy their children are all of the time and it seems like kind of the same thing: over-committed and to what end? I think we can clutter our schedules, our minds, our bodies, our lives and we end up feeling numb, purposeless and discontented, without realizing why or how we got this way.
Can I just tell Ruthie congratulations on starting nursing school?! I am a registered nurse and I love, love, love my work. Becoming a nurse was the best thing I ever did and it was a second career for me as I didn’t start until I was in my mid-30s. Now I am 57 and I never want to retire. I am blessed to be able to do work that is meaningful and get paid well. It is Monday and I got up happy to go to work and I know a lot of folks can’t say that. I also second what Ruthie said about giving up hobbies that no longer define us. I used to be a serious quilter and now I don’t quilt (or really even sew) at all. I’ve learned to say “no” to all requests and recently got rid of ALL of my quilting stash. I had that same amazing sense of relief when I donated all of my (huge stash) of quilting supplies to a non profit that makes quilts for kids. Great post…thanks!
Thank you for the support Barbara! I’ve met so many supportive RNs, mostly the resistance I get is from people who are not even in the field. :) I would love to have a job that I can’t imagine retiring.
Very thoughtful and inspired post Ruthie! Thanks, and do you have your own blog? Seems like you have a knack for telling others how it is without admonishing or judging. More of what the world needs I think. More Ruthie!
I really liked reading your post. You have looked at this issue so logically and I love the whole Buddhist take on it too. Big cheers to you !
What a beautiful post!
So good to find you again – I have followed your blog and so happy to have found this post. I have been a RN for many years and certainly consider an honorable career , however, the documentation and the time away from patient care troubles me. I read a study that RNs spend forty percent of their time in patient care – the rest is paperwork. Still I recommend it.
Great post and advice. Thank you.
Thanks you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved sharing with you all! I was late in responding because we moved this weekend. We still have a few of the smaller things to move, but it has definitely been the easiest move in the last 7 years. And we’ve moved 7 times, so that means a lot. :)
Ruthie..Your last paragraph couldn’t have hit home harder. Before I buy anything now, I try not only to justify it’s purchase, but how it will impact our space.
What a fantastic post! “Live, love, learn and play as best as you can today.” So true.
Beautiful story! I think it’s wonderful that you are going back to school to pursue a career that really helps people. A couple of your points really hit home for me….Time to get rid of more things!
It is nice to read how unencumbered those who are on the minimalist path are. I am not quite there, but desperately working to get there! I am looking for more freedom to come and go, to do with my time as I please.
Great story, thanks for sharing!
Bernice
Easy ways to simplify and go GREEN in your home
Love this!!
“When you die, your obituary will not read “She thought that maybe she wanted to sew slip covers for her couch but then she decided against it.” This made me LOL. Thank you for the reminder. : )
Still giving away art materials. I keep finding hobby supplies I will probably never use. Luckily, between the park district and the public library they will be used. I liked the suggestion about finding one hobby and losing another one. I am hoping to empty a cabinet of art supplies.
I had kept a few of my MIL’s needlepoint supplies. Gave some yarn needles to my niece who has taken up knitting. She was very happy. Still have some for another niece. Mostly I save small, useful things to pass on. I want everyone to feel they have something they can enjoy.
My sister has my Mom’s collection of demitasse spoons. I have some of her china. My mom had so much stuff and worries that everyone didn’t get some of her stuff. We all got something. I got some depressing statuettes that I will give away to whichever child or niece or nephew wants them. They are small but typically my mom. My plan is to keep giving away stuff until we have just what we need and like here in our apt.
Both my mother and MIL had pictures and statuettes of big eyed, sad children. I hated them and hadn’t thought about them until my daughter asked about them the other day. I don’t know where they are but I am so happy I didn’t get them. It’s like the current vogue for skulls or mustaches, I am so glad I don’t have that stuff.
Throwing out broken, spoiled, ruined things. Tore apart old silk flowers to use in paper crafts. Never got anything new except a purse, a pair of shoes and a pair of slacks.
I found a leather purse in the recycling dumpster. I am going to wash it and cut it up for an art project I saw. The pieces of leather become parts of a flower. Someone gave me some velvet scraps, too. I buy no craft items.