Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
I think you’ll really enjoy today’s contribution from Sheri. She tells us how and why she’s embraced a minimalist lifestyle, and the transformative effect it’s had on her life. Be sure to check out her blog to read more of her story.
Sheri writes:
The most difficult times in our lives often help us grow the most.
Last year, I volunteered to help my grandmother, a hoarder, clean out her house. I lost that battle, but won a war within myself.
My mantra these days is: Everything is unfolding as it should for my greatest good. That journey with my grandmother wound up being an incredible gift. At one point she actually said, “I’m teaching you how not to live.”
I found myself daydreaming about the day when I might move into assisted living and give away most of my things. I’d have more time to read, write and enjoy the people I love. Then I began to wonder why I would wait so long to simplify my life.
Soon after, a conversation with a virtual stranger really upset the apple cart. If I knew the world would end in a few years, how would I live my life? The impulse to compare that life to my current life was irresistible.
A month later, I had either sold or given away nearly everything I owned. I’d also examined the emotions attached to every one of those possessions. Talk about catharsis!
I was even able to embrace a raw vegan lifestyle I’d struggled with for years. I’ve never really enjoyed having too many choices. It overwhelms me. Simple is good.
Some were really rattled by my behavior, said they didn’t understand at all. They told me I could not get rid of my furniture. I had to laugh and tell them, “There aren’t any laws stating I have to own furniture.” Others said it felt strange to be taking my belongings, like I was dying. I joked that if I did die soon, it wouldn’t take long to settle my affairs. I had fun with it. It turned out the things I treasured the most, like my books, were also the most fun to give away!
It was a ton of work to go through everything in my two bedroom place. I discovered I owned seven pairs of scissors and 37 highlighters. I owned four tape recorders. I clearly had not known what I had. There were boxes I’d moved many times without opening. I had to ask myself why and work through it.
I let go of good art that had always made me feel bad, because it was given to me by someone who was very critical. I even let go of beautiful things I loved—gave them to people I really cared about. I look forward to seeing them displayed in their homes. Maybe that’s weird, but sometimes you just know where something belongs, and you get excited!I’m a big believer in the Law of Attraction. I remember feeling frustrated that no one wanted my comfortable bed. One morning it occurred to me that maybe I was sending the universe mixed messages, because I was still sleeping in it and loving it. I pulled my futon out of the closet, stripped the bed and made up the futon. Within an hour a man called and came to get my bed. When we were taking it apart he was struck by a John Lennon poster leaning against the wall behind me. I’d been waffling back and forth about keeping it. I really loved it. He proceeded to tell me that he’d been an avid collector, having grown up in the middle of Beatle Mania, but his ex-wife had burned most of his collection. I moved a box so he could see the lyrics to Imagine in the corner. I thought he was going to cry. It clearly belonged with him.
I recently had a friend over for dinner in my new uber-Amish studio—a desk, a chair, a futon, no microwave, no TV and no internet. I saw no sense in even borrowing a table I’d have to lug up three flights of stairs. So I taped my moving boxes together. My friend commented that my apartment was so peaceful it was like being on an island—the ultimate compliment for a minimalist!
I’m a work in progress. I still own far more than 100 things. Growth, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. Now, whenever I want to feel lighter and happier, I simplify. It really feels like I’m getting closer to the way I was designed to live. I come from a long line of packrats. If I can do this, anyone can. Carpe Diem… simplify!
http://carpediemsimplify.blogspot.com/
Photo by Sheri
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Great story, thanks for sharing. I love that idea of thinking how you would want to live if you only had a few years to live. For me, I have to say that it would be to live in a small old house with little stuff and some land, a horse and a couple of other animals, for my kid(s) to grow up close to the nature building tree houses and riding a pony!!
Thanks! It really gets you thinking doesn’t it? You just never know the impact one little conversation can have on a person’s life, do you? I just ran into this person again recently. I have to smile every time I see her. That was a real turning point for me!
I do not understand why Sheri gave away her comfortable bed. I thought living with less was being happy with having enough, not living in discomfort.
I was struck by that too, but decided that Sheri had a certain goals in mind when she did that and a certain way that she wanted her home to look. It seems to have worked for her.
I’ve got a very comfortable bed too and I’m FED UP with it, and am moving towards selling it too.
I admit thre’s something about sleeping on the floor and having all that space above and around me, that feels good… caveman-like perhaps? LOL
I did have a specific picture in mind of what I wanted my new place to look like. I could clearly see a white futon in a white room. The day I moved in and realized I’d created that exact image, I was so excited I had to take a picture. Seeing it come together so fast was very exciting!
My futon is very comfortable too, believe it or not :) I love the idea of being able to put my ‘bed’ away to create more space, as was the case on my birthday. Also, if my bed is toooooo comfortable… I find I waste toooooo much time there. I know it’s not for everyone, but it works for me :)
My friend came over to my house yesterday to see the new curtains I had stitched and commented that the house seemed “airy.” This was such a complement. This friend and her husband are having a yard sale next weekend and I told them I would help, but that I did even though have anything to sell. Having just gone thought a life changing cleaning out of things that were unnecessary in my life, I feel I am left with all that I need.
It’s how we were designed to live, isn’t it? I think it feels great. Good for you!
I love the idea of your things really belonging to other people. I used to be the proud owner of a Victorian Cast Iron Bed, that thing was huge which worked okay when I was in a spacious flat (condo) but once I moved to a house with funny angles and chimney breasts it never really fitted. I finally got round to putting it on ebay. It went to a 300 year old welsh farmhouse with vaulted ceilings, oak beams and antique furniture, the owner was overjoyed at finding a big enough antique bed to complete his home. So I happily said goodbye knowing that it had gone to a better, more suitable place.
That’s a beautiful story. I can just see it! How perfect… and inspiring.
The room in the photo looks as beautiful as any home decor magazine cover to me. And heaps more playful! :) Great story!
Thanks so much! What a lovely thing to say :)
Sheri- I LOVE your story! My family is full of packrats, so I completely understand where you are coming from. I started on my path at a young age unknowingly. It was only once I was a young adult did I realize my need for minimalism stemmed from the near-hoarders in my family. Congrats to you for fighting that possibly inherent drive to hoard! I look forward to checking out your blog :)
Thanks, you know I feel I could’ve easily gone either way. It’s tough to go against mainstream at first, but if it makes you feel better you’ve got to!
I also love Sheri’s story and the beautiful picture. It most certainly is a place where I would love to go and eat.
I had a somewhat similar conversation yesterday about a winter coat my husband has but which he hasn’t worn for two years. He was so resistant to letting it go until I pointed out that someone out there would really love that coat and to let it go while it’s still relatively fashionable is so much kinder than waiting until it’s really out of style.
Letting things go to be loved by someone else feels like a good thing to do.
Yes, part of minimization involved accepting that I did not need to have four pairs of gloves on hand… a bunch of people have never stopped by, needing gloves lol. One set of hands – one pair of gloves. Makes much more sense.
I can totally relate to the story of the hoarder relative. I visited a family member recently whose son had emergency brain surgery. During one of our conversations in the hospital it came out that they own 400 movies but their living situation is simply deplorable. My husband and I were stunned. We own a few favorites, but we never seem to watch them. We do own a couple hundred books, though. Our drive home was spent reflecting on how they could have gotten to where they are. We have begun to think about way to purge the unnecessary things in our lives including a couple hundred books that we don’t read.
I think we all self-medicate in many different ways. I know a number of people who definitely escape through movies. Stress is stress. Movies were one of the tougher areas to minimize, but I became ruthless and only kept about ten. I figured the good old library has tons and definitely all my old favorites. Then i was lucky enough to wind up living across the street from a library. It all works out.
Definitely love the idea of items belonging to someone else. That is a great perspective on items that you no longer want. I also love the idea of not waiting until you’re older and looking at assisted living to simplify. Living a less burdened life now is so wonderful!
Yes! So far, I’ve been thrilled to run into my old belongings. They look great in their new homes!
I hear you, Sheri. There is no law that says we have to put a couch in our new apartment either. So we won’t. :)
Yea! Carpe Diem Simplify!
Hi Sheri, what a great story! I’ve read a lot of your blog today, you’ve come so far. Aspirational. Thanks for sharing.
Thank YOU! This has been so much fun.
It does look like a peaceful island. I have always admired the traditional Japanese home. Tatami mats and a few strong, meaningful, functional pieces of furniture so that the room could be the eating area, socializing area and then at night the sleeping area. Having a bedroll that is put away during the day seems so much more practical to me than an entire room full of stuff just for sleeping and dressing. Eating on the floor looks like it would take getting used to but MOST of the world doesn’t own a kitchen dinette, right?!
So true! We are so much more than our kitchen dinettes :)
I believe that minimalism is about finding what level of stuff that is most suited to you. While Sheri is content and happy with the level of things she has, that doesn’t mean that a family would necessarily want to live the same way. It all comes down to what YOU want to live with.
Can’t wait to pop over to Sheri’s blog and check it out!
Bernice
Mom and 11 year old son work to make dream come true!
Very true! I don’t know how this would work with a family, but I felt a lot more playful when I had more space to play in :)
Congratulations Sheri! I wish I could do half of what you did. I’m an adult living with my mom and if I became such a minimalist, she would think I was crazy. But many times I feel the urge to minimalize my living conditions, which are ok, but not as I would like them to be.
Thank you for your post; it was very inspiring.
So what if your mother thinks you’re crazy for being yourself? Why do you let that stop you?
Because she’s her MOTHER.
I’m also an adult living with my mom, and minimalizing can be hard. For one thing, her stuff overlaps with my stuff, so I can never be too sure if I should throw something away because we both wear it. Also, while I give stuff away in one huge purge, she buys a few items every couple of days. Slowly but surely, she fills up my space with her belongings.
I’ve tried telling my mother that I don’t need all these things and neither does she, but she doesn’t understand. And you can say “So what?” but its still very hurtful that the one who gave birth to you thinks you’re crazy. I’m still a minimalist but I also know that my mother will probably never change.
Tara, can you take over one room and empty it? Sometimes people have to feel the difference to fall in love with it :) Carpe Diem Simplify!
My mom has not agreed with many of my life choices and probably thinks I’m a little crazy. But you know what I don’t agree with her’s either and I definately think she’s crazy!! But she’s still my mother and we love each other but we know we don’t have to live each others life.
My Mom is a very organized person. And we have less furniture and decorations than everyone I know, but I still think I could live with less. Our house is about 1,400 square feet and the only room we barely use is the living room. There’s my room and bathroom which I use, the kitchen and dining room which we use to cook and to eat the food, read, etc. The family room, where we sit to watch TV, and my Mother’s room and bathroom which she uses. So the only space we could do without is the living room. I would love to live in a smaller place near the beach (I live in Miami) with a balcony that has views of the water (but that would be expensive). That would be a dream for me. If I can’t live near the beach, then I could settle with a view of a small lake! A view of the water is soothing to the soul. There are many things I want to do, but somehow I have analysis paralysis. I guess living with my Mom for my entire life has made me a forever child and that’s not good. I wish one day I can change my life and do what I really want to do.
I’m sure plenty of people think I’m crazy for doing this, but I don’t care anymore. At the end of the day it’s me who has to live in the space. I want to be happy now :)
Loved that she shared this.
It’s great to read about other people who are trying to minimalize and simplify all their “stuff.” This has been a new chapter in my life and lifestyle as we have begun to re-evaluate things we have and trying to simplify our lives. Love your blog for this and look forward to continue reading! :)
Also just grabbed both books for my kindle….SUPER excited to jump into them..
Thank you, it IS exciting to see such a movement and Miss Minimalist’s blog really rocks!
Great story, you are so right about there being no law that you have to own things. It is so refreshing to hear from people who have really absorbed this philosophy into their lives instead of being mindless consumers….
I love how you described your studio as ‘uber-Amish’ too!
Thanks! I hope I’m doing the Amish proud… well, a little electricity never hurt anyone, eh?
Exactly what I was thinking. My brother in law indefinitely lent us his couch and two armchairs, one of which is HUGE and black. I hate it and we only use it to dump stuff on. I realised that I don’t have to have furniture in my living room if I don’t want to. He is coming by to take back both chairs, and I’m going to put my drum set in the new space!
Sheri, you are inspiring me to get rid of my bed. I have a 4 poster beautiful cherry queen sized rice bed that I have a love/hate relationship with. It’s beautiful and comfortable, but heavy and huge and I’m just tired of the amount of space it takes up. I dream of a plain platform with a mattress on it close to the floor and small side tables. Simple. I admire that you are sleeping on a futon and gave up your bed. It’s so casual and minimalist. You inspire me.
Wow, I am honored! You’re going to love it!
I just really don’t get the whole 100 things thing.
Makes me mad, as if you can’t be a true minimalist unless you have under 100 things. My husband owns 1000’s of things and my daughter has a bunch of stuff. Does that mean I can never be a minimalist if I cannot get my family to join in? Do I have to leave them to become a minimalist?
No!! I think instead of 100 things, I think it should be as many as you like, as long as you have no attachment, for instance if I were to move or there was a fire, I would grab my daughter and get out, I wouldn’t care about the stuff at all.
I agree, cutting back is cutting back. Every bit counts. A number is not what I’m aiming for. It’s freedom and peace.
But I really liked your story, my mother and mother in law, and husband are hoarders, I never want to be like that.
What a lovely tale. I look forward to reading more on Sheri’s blog. So very inspiring. I’m trying, but don’t want to push my dh and children too much too quickly. If it were only me I have a feeling I would jump in more quickly and throughly.
Completely understandable, just know that the rooms where you create space are going to be the ones they’re inevitably drawn to anyway :) It can be your secret mission. I won’t tell!
Wow, this is inspiring! I have often thought about and wanted to take my minimalism to the point of having nearly no furniture and such, but I always worry what friends and family will think or say, or what we’d do when people come over. I’m so glad to read about someone who is making it work.
I think in the end if you do what makes you happy, your friends and family will be happy for you. They may think you need your head examined, but they’ll also remember you were a lot of fun to be around, especially when you were happy with your life :)
Very inspirational story! I would love to live without most of the possessions we have now. Unfortunately, having a husband and child make it quite difficult. Still, it’s nice to hear others’ minimalist lives!
As kids, our toy room was always a disaster area. When my grandma would come to visit she’d drag everything out into the middle of the room in a big pile and tell us it had to get worse before it got better. We loathed seeing that pile, but we LOVED the big open space we had to play in after everything was sorted and put away. It just feels good to have space… for all of us. Everything in time :)
I think you are a very brave soul for getting rid of the furniture and decorating your place YOUR way!
Thank you!
All of these recent Real Life Minimalist posts have encouraged me to start my own blog – punchlifeintheface.com. I hope I can get to the stage Sheri is at – I just sold my bed yesterday!
Wow! Go man, go!
Sheri – thanks for sharing your inspiring story!
Francine – the Real Life Minimalists series always makes my (Mon)day! It’s a great idea, and thanks for posting it.
I couldn’t agree more! She rocks Mondays!
I enjoyed reading your entry. I love the photo too. It is definitely a room with space to breathe and relax. I don’t get the furniture thing either. I have recently parted with a few pieces of furniture I didn’t need or weren’t comfortable. Why does one need a furniture set or matching furniture? I’m thinking about moving a lawn chair into my living room because it is more comfortable for my back than the “acceptable” oak rocking chair that matches the room. Who says I can’t have lawn furniture in the living room? :)
Yup – I’ve got a plastic lawn chair in my sitting area. Don’t care. Is comfortable, cheap, easy to clean, and light so easily moved around.
Yes, yes! I remember thinking at one point that I am more than my pretty matching furniture. It still shocks me sometimes to think I got rid of everything, but I don’t regret it. I’ve blogged about how we sometimes make things look pretty to hide the fact that we don’t feel so pretty on the inside. I felt like I was trying to prove that I was okay, had it together, when I didn’t. I had a lot of work I wanted to do on the inside and outside and I wanted space for that, so I made it :)
especially liked your poster story. but, i too never bought into the 100 items or less logic. it is almost a contest of sorts which makes me uncomfortable and therefore negates the concept of minimalism for me. please know that this is my opinion only but i like the serenity that minimalism provides me and the benefits of it-the open space, no-brainer wardrobe and so on. but to challenge myself to a 100 items or less concept is almost as demanding as an overstuffed home. it stresses me to even think about it.
Yes, the 100 things feels like a members only sort of thing to me to. I can’t picture it for me, personally. Sorry Grandma, I know that musical ashtray has been in the family for years, but that’s 101 things lol. Never say never.
Sheri, loved your story and the philosophy behind it.
You rock, girl.
Thanks so much!
I can attest to the serenity of Sheri’s abode….I experienced this minimalist’s apt…after a long and crazy road trip full of car debacle’s that delayed my arrival for hours…Dispite the stress…and a exhilirating night out that lasted until four in the morning…having coupled with the fact my car which left at a McDonald’s parking lot; we had to somehow figure out the issue and have it resolved by 9am that morning..One would think …no way a good night sleep was in order…I have to say …Slept like a baby…in fact I made several requests for my dear friend to hit the snooze…ahhh best night or few hours of sleep to be exact I have had in ions..I felt like I had the preverbial 8hrs of sleep recommended for a productive day..I felt calm and actually semi-focused with out meds..hee hee Sheri that in itself (me focused) is rarely how one describes me…hee hee
Awesome post. Very inspirational!
Never let minimalism be about a number. Let it be about making you happy and free.
Sheri..I like your outlook about us growing when things seem to be going haywire. Couldn’t agree more.
Sheri–Congratulations on getting rid of your bed. I haven’t slept on a bed for years. (I sleep on a blanket on the floor.) My adult children were upset so I typed up a piece of paper that now hangs on a kitchen cabinet.
1. Don’t worry about the bed. This way I don’t have to clean under it.
2. Don’t worry about the cabinets. There isn’t much in them because I hate to clean things I don’t need.
3. Don’t worry about my nearly empty closet since I never wore or used most of what was in it before.
4. Don’t worry about my vegan diet. Just look at my most
recent lab report in the “Health” file in my desk drawer. (You’ll be able to find it easily since there are only four thin files there.)
Oh, and Sheri, I love the picture.
You sleep on a blanket on the floor! That’s awesome!!! Don’t you get backaches though?
I never saw this before and it made me feel good. I love to clean out closets and get rid of things. I think I’m in the wrong gene pool.
I am giving away another box of old china. I will never be an extreme minimalist, but growing up with a hoarder means I can’t stand piles of anything, or stuffed closets. Whenever something comes in at least one thing goes out and usually 2. I had some scarves, but I never used them so out they went. I also got rid of some toys. I asked my grandsons what they were too old to play with, and filled a bag. I got 2 new shirts, so 2 shirts left. I only get new things at the end of summer and the end of winter when there are 90 0/0 clearances. Then I only get 2 or 3 things.
I just counted all my clothes, winter and summer, but no underwear. I have 34 items of clothing. 5 pairs of shoes. But I have lots of dishes.
I will give away 2 coats at the end of this winter. If we haven’t worn them in 2 Chicago winters we will probably never need them. One thing I give for gifts is houseplants I have grown myself from cuttings of other plants. I put them in a pretty bowl from the thrift shop.
My husband and I were shopping this morning. He found all kinds of things he wanted, that he had never mentioned wanting or needing before. I found 2 boxes of a very expensive tea reduced for sale. He has a wish list of hundreds of items, totaling thousands of dollars. It has been this way for 45 years. It is my job to convince him why X is unreasonable, we can’t afford it, and I don’t care who has one. We spent $6 for two boxes of tea.