Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words (click here for details).
Today, I’m excited to share this story from Leslie from Texas: she’s made a remarkable transformation after being an avid collector for 30+ years. Very inspiring!
Leslie writes:
I guess I have always been a collector – as a child it was dolls and plastic horses; as an adult I moved on to dishes, vintage glassware, crystal, antiques, candles, and various knick-knacks of all kinds. It always seemed normal because my parents were collectors too. I love finding bargains, so shopping and decorating were my favorite hobbies. It was such a thrill to find cute and interesting things to bring home, especially vintage items. I enjoyed organizing and arranging my displays and thinking of how people would react when they came into my home – I wanted it to be beautiful. (I loved your article about the “fantasy self” because that was exactly me! I started aquiring dishes as a teenager to use “someday” when I would be grown-up and married!).
When I finally got married, we combined two complete households so we had china cabinets full of vintage glassware and crystal and pretty things all around the house (some I still had from childhood). Our closets were full, the kitchen cabinets were overflowing with five (yes 5) complete sets of dishes, countless drinking glasses, flatware, cookware, etc. My husband was the same way – he collected “guy things” all his life (tools, gadgets, equipment for various hobbies) and he never wanted to get rid of anything in case he ever needed it again. We couldn’t even park in our oversized 2-car garage because it was so full of stuff!
Then earlier this year we decided to downsize to a much smaller home. My first plan was to get rid of a few extra things (mostly odds & ends) and keep my best collections, then I started reading your blog over the summer and your articles were so inspiring… it finally dawned on me that I don’t NEED to collect anything! After that, I was on a roll – posting items on Craigslist, having yard sales, donating to charity… We sold the china cabinets and all the pretty glassware, knick-knacks, books, kitchen gadgets (we had 3 crock pots!), and much more. Now we are down to ONE set of dishes, there are empty spaces in our cabinets and closets, and we only have the furniture we truly need. For the first time in my life I have no more collections! Our smaller home feels very spacious and comfortable, but it’s not perfect yet – the garage still needs work. My husband still has lots of tools and equipment, but he’s getting much better about scrapping (recycling) the stuff he will never use (and he even sold his trading card collection!).
It’s been a long process, but after 30+ years of being a collector, I finally gave up my “fantasy self”, and it feels great! Our home is nice, neat and simple, and my nephews can play without the worry that something might get broken. Sometimes I still fight the urge to shop for bargains, but I have learned to stay away from the thrift stores, and our non-cluttered house is so nice to come home to!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
What a wonderful and inspiring post, Leslie! Just goes to prove the old saying that it’s never too late!
For me, when I started reading Francine’s blog and book, the most powerful tool for me was, without a doubt, that of the ‘fantasy self’. Like you, I think once you can come to terms with its existence within you – and how ludicrous it actually is! – then you are well on the way to starting the minimalist lifestyle.
Well done!
Congrats, Leslie!!! :)
Thank you so much for your inspiring words- you prove it can be done. It is so much fun to get rid of things isn’t it ? Especially when they can go to a worthy cause. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing, Leslie! Your story is inspiring and I do love hearing about couples being able to downsize and minimise together.
It is fascinating how many people use their garages to cram as much stuff into it as possible. I don’t know anyone who really uses their garage to park a car in or whatever. I always like hearing about people donating their unwanted belongings to charity, it gives me hope :)
Great story!
Wow! Good job! The kitchen was my problem too, but we didn’t collect near that long, only about 8 years of marriage before we cut down.
Three words with an impact…Nice…Neat..and Simple!! Seems to say it all!
Oh, we must be related. I have 4 crockpots! I had an antique shop for numerous years and my husband is an avid collector of antique toys. I have not reached the point that you have but I am decluttering all the time. It is taking quite a bit of time to get rid of so much stuff. The thing that I am so proud of is that I stopped buying stuff all the time about 2 years ago. Stopping the stuff from coming into the house is a huge step! My husband has made great progress in not adding to his collection. I don’t know that he will ever get rid of it, but that’s ok, because that is for him to decide. I’m concentrating on getting rid of my collections and everyday household items that I don’t need.
What are crockpots?
It is a very popular brand of a slow cooker.
Oh, thanks.
I love when you wrote about that AH-HA moment when you realized that you didn’t NEED to collect anything! That’s huge!
I, too, collected vintage stuff, especially kitchenware. I know these goodies will be the last “things” to go, although I buy very little now and have started to sell off my stuff. But acknowledging the Fantasy Self has been big for me, too, and has helped me get rid of alot of odds and ends that have long since lost their meaning.
Here’s what I said good-bye to …
http://creeksideministries.blogspot.com/2011/08/are-you-living-in-fantasy-world.html
I’m a glassware and china lover, too, so I can relate to the desire to build up a trousseau at an early age. I’m sure it was really difficult to chose which set to keep! With glassware, I have these simple little glasses that are good for everything – wine, cocktails, juice, etc. I love to find the one perfect thing that has multiple uses. Congratulations on conquering your fantasy self!
Well done Leslie.
I recently wrote a post about my kitchen, and after reading the above. I see I’m not the only one that made the right decision.
Keep it up, you are doing great.
Trevor, I just checked out your blog and I like it. I keep cleaning out my kitchen and my mother-in-law keeps filling it back up for me. So I keep giving the excess to friends….
Great Job! You have made a change that many people have a difficult time doing, and some don’t ever let go. I think it is harder for guys to get rid of stuff. I don’t know a lot of men who are good at that. I don’t know if it is because they are the providers or what. Thank heavens my husband doesn’t buy much! He hates to declutter, but doesn’t have much so it works.
Thanks so much for sharing, Leslie. It sounds like you’re making fantastic progress. When I hear about someone taking such great strides it makes me want to run home and do some decluttering!
This past year I also came to the realization that I didn’t need to collect things. I dismantled and sold/donated/gave away several collections, all of which stretched back to my childhood. The strangest part was that I collected some of these items (like porcelain dolls) because I thought they were beautiful, but I never even displayed them to enjoy their beauty! Now I’m trying to steer clear of collecting, which has the added bonus of helping me work on my need for completeness and perfection. ;)
Best of luck tackling the garage!
when I was a kid my mother collected dishes and Hummel figurines. I noted that it was all for show (and dusting) and we never used these “good” dishes. I vowed I would never collect stuff I didn’t actually use. Later though, I would find vintage things hard to resist at garage sales, since my mother loved to go. I limited myself to very small items, which helped whenever I decluttered. I could fit a dozen things in a shoebox for donation.
Getting rid of my “fantasy self” was HUGE in decluttering. When I realized I wasn’t ever going to use my specialty ice cream dishes, wine glasses, etc., I let them go. I gave away 3 sets of china too. I don’t want to live formally….just simply.
Good for you, Leslie. Nice post!
Thanks for your post, Leslie. I like how you realised that thrift stores were contributing to the problem. It took me awhile to recognise that thrift shops and garage sales were just as dangerous as regular stores. Now I only enter them with a list, not to browse simply because they are cheap.
I’m enjoying reading all these comments on “fantasy selves” as well. My fantasy formal self has already let go of the jelly and ice block moulds and fancy dessert dishes. Now I think it might be time to let the gravy boat go.
Oh, Kim – that is sooo funny re: the jelly moulds and gravy boat! We let go a while back of our TWELVE vintage champagne glasses – when on earth would any regular person need those?!
I have several vintage champagne glasses. I drink my breakfast milk out of them. Enjoy them as often as you can – why keep them locked up and unused?
They were never locked up; just never used. And TWELVE between two of us was just madness, especially when we seldom have more than two guests around at any one time!
Oh, and I detest milk, so that would not have worked for me! :-)
I should have been more precise – I drink soya milk. Apologies.
;-)
It’s good for your bones!
This is very inspiring indeed!!! Congrats on being able to become a minimalist in spite of being a collector for 30+yrs :)
So what is Francine up to do you think? Is she writing a new book?
Maybe I just haven’t found the article here yet, but I’d love some suggestions on motivating my family to join me on the road to simplicity. At this point I’m trying to lead by example and hope they see the light.
I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I’ve committed to getting rid of 5 items per day for the entire year. I know the year is early but I’m ahead of the number of items I should be at by today, so I’m still hopefull.
I started by working my way through items that are mine, so I don’t need to get agreement from anyone else on what I do with them. So far I’ve purged my clothing and novels. Next up craft supplies. Then gardening stuff.
Getting my family to part with anything is like pulling teeth. I did get the kids to agree to parting with a giant pile of puzzles and board games they had to admit were never their favorites and were all to young for them now. Yay! Hey, I’ll take the small victories where I can. My daughter got some art supplies for Christmas. I asked her to put them in her craft cupboard knowing that she wouldn’t find any space… Two days passed and the nice new items sat on the floor infront of the cupboard. I said nothing. Someone tripped over the little bottles of paint and sent them flying. She straightened them up and they sat there for another day. Then the dog started sniffing at them. Apparently the risk of the dog eating paint and becoming ill was the final straw. She removed a small pile of odds and ends from the cupboard and tucked away the new items. It’s not the total empty the cupboard-purge-repack I would prefer but it’s a start.
I would love to get some good pointers for that too. I don’t have a family but I do have a hoarder friend.
In hoarder programmes the friends of h. always say “oh I wish I’d known, I would have done something sooner”. Well I have seen her problem growing to unhealthy proportions and tried everything.
Am trying to lead by example too. With the result that my home is getting nicer and nicer!
Good luck with your efforts. You might want to look into the giving of gifts for Christmas…
Oh and get the fun into parting with things – take them to jumble sales to sell their stuff.
JMK,
Leo with Zenhabits.net has six kids and writes and lives a minimalist lifestyle. Go to his site, scroll down to the bottom, click on ‘see all posts’ and you can see all the topics he’s written about. It’s all a work in progress!
I was thinking that on TV everyone lives in a house full of stuff. We were at friends’ the other night and so much furniture, barely room to sit down. I need to fill another bag for Goodwill because I do that once a week. I know what furniture I would get rid of, but my husband wouldn’t like it.
I folded my dining room table down as far as it gets. Most of my folding chairs are at my older son’s house. I found some books to give away and some DVD’s. We make a pile for the library and a pile for Goodwill. My daughter bought a new purse and gave her old one to my mother who wanted one in the nursing home. She is bringing more stuff to give away this weekend.
My husband has never met a sweater he didn’t want to buy. I always ask what he’s getting rid of. He is finally selling some of his huge hobby items. Our home is decorated with pictures of the kids and grandkids. I have more craft and art supplies to pass on.
I have another bag of art supplies to pass on. These are going to a public school in Chicago. I also have some craft books I am passing on. I am giving a class on making jewelry from found objects and sending each person home with some supplies.