On the course of our minimalist journey, my husband and I had never seriously entertained the idea of having children. For a long time, we couldn’t imagine how an infant/toddler/adolescent/teenager could fit into the carefree, nomadic lifestyle we had created for ourselves.
But last year, after purging all the excess from our lives, something changed.
In my book, The Joy of Less, I liken minimalism to “emptying our cups”—not for the sake of being empty, but for discovering what’s truly special to us and making room for it.
Well, after my husband and I stripped everything to the bone—giving up our home, our possessions, the expectations of others—we discovered the potential of our “empty cup”: the capacity to love, care for, and share this amazing world with a child.
So today, I’m thrilled to share with you the biggest (and littlest) surprise of all… During my sabbatical, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl!
She’s such a sweetheart, and incredibly alert, active, and curious for her age. She has the most beautiful smile, and a wise, “old soul” expression in her eyes (I like to think that babies are born knowing all the mysteries of the universe, but just lack the communication skills to share them with us :) ).
I know in the blogging world, there’s an expectation that I’ll share the name, photos, and other details of my new bundle of joy. After all, I’m a very proud mama. However, my husband and I have decided to keep our child’s life private. It doesn’t seem right to me that in the United States, 92 percent of children have an online presence by the time they’re two years old. Bottom line, we don’t want to make our daughter “Googleable” before she has a say in the matter.
Therefore, I’m going to resist posting all those adorable baby pics, and use a handle instead of her real name when referring to her online. It didn’t take me long to come up with the perfect one: Plumblossom. Like her namesake flower, she’s tiny and delicate in appearance (weighing only 6 pounds at birth), but hardy enough to bloom in the darkest days of winter. The plum blossom is a symbol of hope, strength, and courage—bursting forth amongst snow and barren branches, an early sign of a much-anticipated spring.
To put it poetically (as I’m wont to do), my husband and I had decluttered our lives into a pure and serene winter landscape–into which our lovely little Plumblossom bloomed, filling the space we’d created with love, light, and happiness.
Has Plumblossom turned my minimalist life upside down? Absolutely. Although I’m striving to keep things under control, I now count a crib, infant swing, play mat, board books, rattles, and a plethora of other baby items among my possessions. I’ve let go of my need to have a pristine, uber-minimalist environment in order to meet her needs—but it’s all worth it, as her smiles and coos fill our home, and hearts, with more joy than I ever imagined.
Longtime readers need not worry: this won’t turn into a “mommy blog,” and my focus will remain on minimalist living—just now with a new perspective that’ll help me relate to even more of my readers. And I’ll try my best to write something intelligible, despite my state of sleep deprivation. It’s a very exciting time in my life, and I’m looking forward to discovering, and sharing with you, the joy of less family-style!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Wow, congratulations! It’s entirely possible to live a minimalist life with a child. My daughter has turned out to be quite the natural minimalist, often refusing new toys etc. Enjoy your new life as a minimalist mama :)
Congrats! Wishing you and your loved ones all that is best in life. :^)
Wonderful! Congratulations! Family minimalism is definitely possible and very desirable. Just keeping a handle on what you actually need is all that it takes, also not worrying about keeping ‘the first’ everything or about giving away gifts. I’m convinced that kids of all ages need very few toys etc to be happy. I wrote about getting rid of most of my children’s toys here
http://simplelivingchina.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/getting-rid-of-toys.html
Also as they grow, minimalism becomes even more practical, in a minimalist home there’s less for toddlers to break and more space to run!
Well you could have knocked me down with a feather. Hearty congrats, what. Wonderful surprise. Yippppeeeeee.
Wow! congratulations!
Although I don’t have children (yet), I perceive that, particularly babies “need” a lot of Stuff! I am really interested to hear how your new family member impacts on your minimalist lifestyle and learn, through your journey, what she does and doesn’t need.
Lovely to know for sure about the reason behind your sabbatical. The mothers out here had their suspicions. Congratulations on your precious daughter. It will be fascinating to hear how you deal with the child-oriented acquisitive culture. And BTW children can communicate way before they can talk. Read up on how to teach a very young child to communicate with you via simple sign language.
Oh, Francine (and hubby!)! How wonderful! Many congratulations to you both!
Many congratulations, and all the best to you and your husband and to Plumblossom!
I think you’re making a wise decision to allow her to grow up without the eyes of the internet on her – let her make the decision to do so herself, later. This also prevents her from having to deal with digital clutter later in her life.
Children can be a challenge to minimal ideals, but they also offer an opportunity to practice them. Rather than accumulating endless plaswic gewgaws, you can consider fewer but higher quality and healthier (for her and for the factory workers) items. Good luck with the unsolicited gifts, though! I wonder if that might be the biggest challenge?
Wishing you all much love, happiness, and health!
Wow.. congratulation Francine. That is really a big surprise. :)
Congratulations to you and your husband! What a wonderful surprise!
ps. Minimalist Mom has a great e-book on how to stay minimalist with babies :)
Congratulations to you & your hubby!!! What a great surprise!!
Congratulations! I had a baby five months ago myself and I tried to keep things down to a minimum, but I got a TON of gifts (way too much stuff). I returned a lot of it and got store credit, but there was a lot that I didn’t want to return because I thought I would offend the person who gave it. So I’ve decided that I’m going to get rid of the stuff quickly as she outgrows it. The only thing I am going to save for the next baby is my breastpump which was very expensive.
WOW! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!! That’s amazing news! A few mommy posts would be okay…even for us singletons :) One day…
Great blog you’ve started! Looking forward to more posts!
Oh my word!!! Yay!!!!! Good for you and much triumph on a happy, healthy little girl! I appreciate your example of how to have a successful blog without sharing every last detail of your life. It’s helpful to see how it’s done. And quite selfishly I really, really hope that you share some things you do along the way to keep your minimalist life even with a happy baby!
I don’t have any kids yet, but the thought of all the stuff that goes along with the little bundle of joy simply overwhelms me and I’d love to read about how you learn to deal with that, avoid all the gifts people want to give, etc. etc.
So much joy to you and your family!
Congratulations! You have many happy and exciting days ahead.
When I read your last blog (Part 1 of 3), I had a thought… I wonder if she is pregnant :) There was something new in your writing, something that was not there before… So happy for you!
Congratulations to you and your husband! May Plumblossom fill your hearts with joy!
Wow!! Congratulations, Francine!
I am so happy to hear your news! Congratulations! I have a toddler and another baby on the way. I’m perpetually working on keeping possessions from overtaking my life and children’s items have definitely made it more complicated for me. I look forward to your mom- and non-mom related posts. Best wishes for you and your family!
You will be a wonderful mother. Children are such a gift. I have two beautiful daughters that are probably close to your age, and they are my best friends. I can’t imagine how life would have been without them. My girls have only widened my lense, not narrowed it. They provided me with a capacity for a type of love and openness to life that, for me, wouldn’t have been known without them. Love to you and your family.
Congrats, Miss Minimalist. I am amazed that you had the foresight not to spew the news all over every social network and your blog!! I could never do it :) Happy for your family!
Congratulations! That is very exciting news!
Congratulations to you, your husband and Plumblossom. I am sure she is beautiful. I have always said that I could travel to Europe with much less baggage than I could go across town with a baby. That said real needs of infants are few and the available products are many. Good luck on your new journey, I look forward to hearing about Plumblossom sometimes.
Congratulations! I had a feeling a baby was in your future. Totally surprised it’s now in your present, though. I look forward to your minimalist posts on living with a child. I know your insights will be great. Also, love your book. I discovered it last summer and then I went to your blog and it is thanks to you that I discovered the rest of the minimalist blogs. I’m not very computer literate and never knew any of these existed. Very exciting! Thanks again.
Congratulations to you and your husband and welcome to this crazy world, Plumblossom!!
wow! what wonderful news, Francine! congrats to you and your family! i sometimes think how a baby would never fit in my minimalist lifestyle but now i wonder… :)
All the best to you!
Congratulations! When you mentioned big changes, I’ll admit that I thought of a baby. My daughter is 8 months, and it is a fight to keep her belongings minimal. But she really doesn’t “need” much. She loves playing with (washed) empty containers from our recycle bin more than her toys! We do own her books, because I’ve told her she can’t get a library card until she stops eating books. :)
Wow this is so exciting! Congratulations to all 3 of you! :D I look forward to hearing even more about your journey in minimalism with your baby girl.
I will miss you. I loved the fact that this was not a mother-minimalist blog. I looked up to you for not having a child, being a role model, not listening to the greater social pressures. “Minimalist living” with a child is a mommy blog. I haven’t seen one that isn’t unless the children have flown the coop.
How do you reconcile having a child with reducing your environmental impact? Simply producing off-spring at the very least quadruples your footprint, and that’s just in your lifetime.
Yes I am bitter, but I’m beyond disappointed that I’m losing one of my favorite blogs. I have no interest in reading about Plumblossom, and I know I’m not the only one thinking it although I’m the first to say it.
Good luck, warm wishes, and good bye.
Aurelia, let’s hope we’ll still get updates which are not child-related…
Even if they aren’t directly kid related, the kid will have an impact on just about everything she could possibly write about. The comments, which were a wonderful draw, will be overtaken by mothers talking about their children. Let’s just say I’m not holding my breath.
Aurelia, I find your comment a bit strong. I don’t like to travel but I LOVE hearing Francine’s minimalist perspective on it and listening to the joy she experiences from her travels.
I doubt Francine had a baby just to bow down to “greater social pressures”.
“Quick, Mr Minimalist, I feel the pressure to conform. We must reproduce. Get to it!”
Sounds like an unlikely conversation to me. ;-)
Karen (Scotland)
While that is indeed an unlikely conversation, talking about the kid in future posts will be more frequent than Francine probably intends. Add in that she now will be read by mothers who once thought she was too extreme and only lived as she did because she didn’t have children, the entire atmosphere is likely to change. “Mommy blog” to me is a blog which mentions a child as a central figure, not just one that solely talks about parenting.
I’d still like to hear her explain having a child when she cares so much about reducing her impact on the world . . . .
She did explain it – she said right in her post that after she and her husband decluttered her life, they realized they wanted a child. Why should she have to justify this deeply personal decision any further to anyone? While having children might not reduce one’s impact environmentally, a child thoughtfully reared in a loving home has great potential to impact the world in other wonderful ways. Like it or not, many people become parents, whether through choice or accident, and the world benefits from wonderful people like Francine becoming parents, lovingly and mindfully raising their children to become engaged citizens and leaders who, in turn, make a positive difference in the lives of others.
The “famous” minimalist Leo B who writes Zen Habits and mnmlist.com has 6 children. Just a random observation.
Nope, I won’t be expecting her to justify not “reducing her impact on the world”. I didn’t expect her to do it about travel, I won’t expect her to do it about the fairly natural desire to have a child.
Francine’s blog is well-written and enjoyable and FREE. I’m just grateful it exists. :-)
Even as a child-free reader, surely reading about the wider issues of minimalism and children will still be of interest to you? You seem to have quite strong views with regards so surely you’ll only find it interesting to hear opinion and thoughts from a different angle?
I think worrying that Francine will start to talk of peas (using example below) is a bit of an insult to our intelligent, restrained and fairly deep-thinking Miss Minimalist…
Karen
(Scotland)
(And having been a parent obsessing about lack of pea consumption, if she chooses to vent here, on her blog, so be it. ;-))
I didn’t make the pea comment, just pointing that out.
Zen Habits got too preachy for me, children aside.
The wider issues of minimalism? Yes still interested. How to deal with minimalism and children? No interest whatsoever. Women have a hard enough time going against the grain without people thinking they should have children.
Aurelia, maybe you could look at this as an opportunity to start your own blog – a way of drawing together like-minded individuals. Something like “kid-free minimalists forever”.
Everyone, I wrote the pea comment not Aurelia, and it was a poor choice of words as it got taken way out of context and way too seriously. It was part of a compliment to Francine saying I hold out hope that she will keep the material interesting because to date, she has given us a great blog. Any interpretation beyond that is not my message. Obviously I underestimated the level of interest in pea minutiae, maybe it is more of a Mendelian crowd than I thought.
Sorry, SS. I took the pea example and ran with it but your original comment was a compliment to Miss Minimalist and said in jest. I did get that from your tone so sorry it got twisted further down the line.
:-)
Karen (Scotland)
PS I had to look up Mendelian (had no idea what it was) and I did laugh heartily.
Hi Karen,
Thank you for your reply, I felt bad that anyone might think I was insulting Francine when it wasn’t meant that way, and that Aurelia was getting skewered for my comment. I thought I should own up and take responsibility for it. Thank you too for appreciating my geeky Mendel joke! :) I’m sorry that my comment there came out with a snotty tone, I’m used to getting a lot of negative attitudes for my decision to not have kids and I sometimes get defensive with the wrong people and I owe you an apology for that.
SS
I fail to see why ANYONE needs to explain to YOU their decision to have a child!! I am shocked!
As a fellow childfree person, I can understand your disappointment in losing a blog that was once free of child related topics. Only time will tell how the posts evolve, but by not posting every detail of her pregnancy or any photos of her child, she is already showing that she is capable of more restraint than many bloggers who write under the title of other subjects yet permeate their posts with their kids.
Whatever direction she chooses going forward, she has thus far given us a wonderful ongoing gift of a blog. There are plenty of parents out there who don’t assume that I have 30 cats and cry myself to sleep just because I decided very early not to have kids, let’s give her a chance to not be the parent who bores everyone to death writing about how many ounces of peas Plumblossom had for lunch before drawing any conclusions. :)
Hi Francine:
Congratulations. I think that since it’s your blog you should write about whatever you want to write about without apology. If you want to talk about strained peas or anything else I say go for it. It’s a fact that life changes and priorities change. For the people who no longer want to read i’m sure ther are plenty of places for them to go.
Hi Susan,
I agree with you that she should write about whatever she pleases. And yes, there are plenty of great sites that don’t focus on kids for those of us who are not interested in babies. She herself stated that she was not going to turn this into a mommy blog. All I was saying is that we shouldn’t assume that she is suddenly going to turn into a boring one note writer just because she now has a baby, as some do. If reading 30 posts in a row on strained peas is interesting to you, then we have different tastes in reading material but in no way was my comment a criticism of Francine.
If you know where else to go to read well-written, reflective pieces about living minimally without any mention of children, please tell me! There aren’t “plenty” of places with Francine’s writing style.
I certainly don’t expect her to turn into a one-note writer, but I do expect that Plumblossom -and adjusting to her arrival – will provide fresh topics and inspiration. Interesting parent or boring parent, she’s still a parent and will talk about parent topics.
I don’t have a list of Francine clone writers, I meant that by reading a combination of sites with intellectual and reflective posts and equally bright thoughtful readers/commenters, it satisfies my interests in minimalism, the childfree choice, environmentalism, etc. Sometimes the sites change focus, sometimes my interests evolve, sometimes the readerships changes, having multiple sources and checking out new ones keeps the supply of material coming.
Wow, it amazes me, the sheer level of vitriol that some people have for those who have children. Coming onto someone’s blog and criticizing her because her life circumstances no longer adhere to your philosophy? She’s not here to be your “role model,” and if you’re that disappointed that one of your favorite bloggers made a life choice you don’t personally agree with, maybe it’s time to turn off the computer and go do something else.
For what it’s worth, though – Francine has always written with tact and care (she did not mention her pregnancy, she did not post pictures of her baby, and she is referring to her daughter in pseudonym only) so it is not likely that this blog will suddenly become a “mommy” blog. Although having a child will certainly change her perspective and will permeate some of what she writes, she is likely to remain just as sensitive as to what her audience would like to read about. While several readers won’t be interested in Plumblossom-related subjects, several readers are parents (or parents to be) and will be interested in hearing a bit more about her journey of being minimalist while raising a family.
I apologize if this comment comes across as inflammatory; I am not a parent, but I find the attitude that having children is somehow immoral or selfish just as annoying as the attitude that NOT having children is immoral and selfish. Having children or not having children are both valid paths – people on both sides of the fence should be able to make the reproductive choices that suit them without scorn being heaped on their heads by complete strangers.
SM (and Anne just below), I fully agree that it is strange that some people feel so strongly against others who choose to have children when (most) people with children fully accept that others will choose to remain child-free.
It’s not something I even start to debate because someone telling me I shouldn’t have any children (not even one) is such a naive thing to say. The biological and emotional pull that made me have children was not something that I could have ever fought. Even if I had been a minimalist before starting my family, the desire for simplicity could never have affected my decision.
As Francine explained herself, she “discovered the potential of (her) “empty cup”: the capacity to love, care for, and share this amazing world with a child.” And, as Anne says below “it’s what the concept of “life” is all about”.
Some people might not share those feelings but to say so in Francine’s celebration post is just plain old bad manners! There is a time and a place for debate and disagreement and, to my old-fashioned mind, that isn’t during a celebration post!
Let’s hope Francine looks at the roughly 140 posts that congratulate her and share her joy and then dismisses the critical comments as the rudeness they are.
Karen (Scotland)
PS Sorry, I’m not usually so abrupt but my defender mode kicks in when I see meanness and bad manners in blog comments.
I think I read that kind of argument here before and I have to say, referring to a child as “environmentally bad” is utter nonsense to me. You could as well proclaim that everyone ought to minimize his or her footprint by comitting suicide.
I’m all against wasting natural resources. But having a child is no nonsensical waste, it’s what the concept of “life” is all about.
It’s everyones own decision whether he or she wants to have a child or not, but either way, it’s a completely personal decision and there’s no “better”.
Also, I don’t believe in “mommyfication” or the evil of motherhood – you may very well be a sensible woman and mother at the same time.
E.g. I always liked Karen (Scotland)s comments on this blog and never found her to be too mommy-ish.
As Francines blog has always been a bit less personal than others (not in a bad way, just, I don’t know Francines biography and family as well as those of other bloggers I’m regularly reading), I don’t think the topics will become so very “mommy” over time.
What nasty comments, Aurelia.
Without stating the obvious, if everyone stopped children, well… you can figure that out.
Totally unnecessary remarks about a joyous occasion, IMHO.
I’m just reading through the blogs I’ve missed since only discovering this site this year. AURELIA, what a horrible and despicable thing to say! Not wanting children may be your decision but don’t knock other people who do want them. And there are many ways to reduce our footprint than not having children. As my mother used to say (thank God she wanted me!) “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” This site has not turned into a mommy blog and as you’ve probably noticed by now, it is viewed by mostly women and we love to hear about babies and children, even if, as in my case, we don’t have any. Maybe it’s best that you do not return to this blog — we can do without the negative comments.
It’s great to know that there are still people in the world with restraint and discretion. Congratulations!
Happy, Happy!!! What wonderful news you bring to us. Plumblossom is a wonderful name to share with us and we certainly understand about the privacy you wish to keep. You sound so happy. Thank you for sharing your happpiness with us.
That is SO great, Francine. Congratulations! If given the choice, choose napping over blogging. We’ll still be here when you wake up. :-)
Dear Francine,
Congratulations to you and your husband on Plumblossom’s arrival, that is wonderful news!
I am glad to hear your plan to continue to focus on minimalism in your blog. At the same time, as a mother of two (a toddler and an infant), I find trying to be minimalist challenging. I have wondered many times how minimalism would look if my favourite minimalist role model (yes, that would be you) had a child. So I’m looking forward to hearing more about that.
Congrats on little Plumblossom! A child(ren) can seriously turn a minimalist life upside down! We’re trying to find a balance (I should say I’m trying to find a balance as I’m the intense minimalist and everyone else has to deal with it lol), and I hope you can too. Raising a child comes with so much pressure to consume that is can make minimalism a challenge. Good luck on your journey into motherhood!
Congratulations! This post made my heart so glad!
Congratulations! As a mother of a toddler, I’m excited to hear how your minimalism fits into the life of raising children. Because this is something I struggle with.
Congratulations! I second Faith’s post. Snuggle with that sweet little punkin’ for a nap as much as you can. They grow up way too fast! (Mine are 7 and 9!!!)
I knew it! Congratulations! May your happiness grow and grow. Such lovely news.
On a more practical note, we’re contemplating maybe going down this route soon, so I shall be hanging on to your every work about minimalist child-rearing!
Congratulations! I missed you and your insightful posts during your sabbatical, but now I see you had something far more important to do. I myself am a confirmed, old bachelor, but I really look forward to seeing (and reading about) how your minimalist perspective and lifestyle might change now that you have a daughter.
All the best to Mom, Dad and little Plumblossom (a truly wonderful sobriquet, I might add) for a happy and healthy life!
Oh congratulations,Francine! How wonderful for you and for us, as you will now be able to share your minimalist experience as a parent! I think it’s great that you are keeping info about your daughter private, I do the same with my children. Wishing your family and Plumblossom the best! (And don’t worry about the plethora of necessities that comes along with babies, by 2 or 3, most of that stuff can be retired or given away – my girls are now 10 and 3)
How wonderful! I agree with you about not putting her “out there” on the web.
Enjoy every minute….it goes by so fast!
Congratulations to you both!
Congratulations on making room for such joy in your lives! I hope we WILL see pictures of what a minimalist house looks like with infant, toddler, preschooler, and school-ager stuff. No need to sacrifice your child’s anonymity…just pictures of the place would be nice. And, to hear how you are navigating the choice of minimalism/minsumerism while having another life in tow. I can’t think of a more helpful addition to your blog. Again, congrats on such an amazing adventure!
I agree!! It would be great to see how your version of a minimalist home changed with a child and at different stages. And I can’t wait to hear how minimalism and children work together for you. Congratulations again!!
I knew it!! Congrats! And I hope you will from time to time talk about baby/child/family minimalism. It is totally doable, we have 3 kids and 6 dogs.
Congratulations to you both! As a minimalist and a step-mother, I’m very excited to hear about your accomplishments and trials.
So if I don’t say congratulations my comment gets put in moderation?
What do you mean?
It took me posting this comment for my previous one to go through, even though about a dozen written after mine had been published.
I assume that’s because zillions of other people posted at the same time as you did – thus getting the bottleneck problem like trying to buy a ticket for a rock concert on-line (don’t you just luurrrve it when the site crashes).
Anyway I’m glad I’m not the only one who isn’t in the least bit interested in blogs about children.
My comments are in moderation too. It’s not a problem, or a conspiracy.
Sometimes taking a break, and the wisdom that comes with it, is due to sad circumstances. I’m so glad to know that your sabbatical had the purpose of bringing you “home” to the US, and bringing your newborn “home” to you and your husband. She’s a lucky girl: born to a couple that lives so consciously. All the best to you and your family. Congratulations!
Congratulations! Praise the Lord for LIFE!
How delightful! And I so admire and respect your decision to keep your baby’s life private. So many have shared way too much online, with every thought, word, and deed posted for the world to see. I wonder what those kids will think some day …
Anyway, great blessings on you all …
THRILLED for you – truly the most loveliest of blogs to read this evening! Enjoy x