When Plumblossom was just a few months old, I bought an infant swing. I never thought I’d own such an item—but desperate to get my daughter to nap, I went online and discovered this “solution” to my problem. It promised to calm my little one with its gentle rocking, and send her off to sleep in no time flat; the Amazon reviews confirmed its efficacy (“My baby naps 3 hours in this!”). I couldn’t part with my money fast enough.
My enthusiasm to acquire this new thing made me think: what are our possessions, really, but a bunch of promises? That dress promises to make us look stylish; that smartphone promises to keep us tech-savvy and connected; that cookbook promises to make us a culinary whiz; that moisturizer promises to take years off our face; that heirloom china promises to help us remember our grandmother.
These promises to make our lives easier, better, chicer, or more productive are enticing. The problem: the products don’t always deliver. In our disappointment, we shove them to the back of the closet, up in the attic, or out in the garage—or we may just let them sit around in our living room, kitchen, or bedroom, unwilling to admit that they didn’t really live up to our expectations.
All too often, we end up with a pile of broken promises—or, in other words, clutter.
So what can you do about it?
For the stuff you currently own:
* Ask what “promise” each possession holds. It’s a great way to evaluate exactly why you own a particular item.
* Ask if it’s delivering on its promise. If not, pass it on to someone else; perhaps its true potential may be found in another home.
For stuff you’re considering acquiring:
* Identify any insecurities that may be behind the purchase. Are those stilettos calling your name because you’ve been feeling a bit frumpy?
* Consider non-stuff solutions to your problem. Could an aerobics class make you feel fitter and sexier than a new pair of shoes?
So back to my own story: when the swing arrived, my husband and I had it out of the box and set up in minutes. At her next naptime, I lowered Plumblossom into it with bated breath, waiting for her to close her eyes and drift off to dreamland. Instead, she looked up at me as if to say “you must be kidding,” and in about three minutes broke into a wail. Undeterred, I tried it again and again, almost always with the same result. She’d sometimes lounge in it for ten minutes while my husband and I ate dinner, but napping? Not a chance.
The swing clearly spoke to my insecurities as a new mom. In the process, I learned that for my daughter, a mechanical device is no substitute for the warmth and motion of my own arms, and that a softly-sung lullaby is much more soothing than an electronic one. A thing was not going to instantly make her a better napper. (Needless to say, it’s since been donated.)
I’ve used this example not because I’m becoming a mommy blogger, but to illustrate how these things can sneak up on us when we experience new situations in life. As a long-time, card-carrying minimalist, I thought I was long past falling for such promises. I’d become a minsumer extraordinaire, immune to the siren calls of miracle creams, designer handbags, and the latest-and-greatest gadgets. But in the past year, I’ve found that you don’t “perfect” minimalism and call it a day—you have to keep working on it as life throws new challenges your way. :)
Do you have any broken promises cluttering your home? Tell us about them in the Comments!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Oh I had one of those swings, complete waste of time and very bulky.
My friend had one on a spring thingie, and her fussy daughter slept like, well, a baby in it.
“Are those stilettos calling your name because you’ve been feeling a bit frumpy?”
Ouch…. yes…..
It’s not new clothes / shoes I want, it’s a new body….
Very very good Francine.
I agree that with new stages of life and even new interests come decisions that need to be made about needs and wants. And because we haven’t been there before, it’s often difficult to make informed decisions. I know I bought a lot less with my second child than with my first. I had both my children before I really knew anything about minimalism, so for the first few years, I felt like I was keeping up with buying toys that other families seemed to have, all the while thinking there had to be a better way. Once I started reading about minimalism, I realised I didn’t have to buy so much, and could make do with a less and that this might actually be better for my family.
This was really a good post. Certainly there were several such items I had earlier. But I think; more than 2 years of minimalism and several broken promises by stuff; I have grown enough to understand that not all promises get fulfilled by such stuff.
Before we part our ways with such stuff; my husband always prefer to give it a second chance to see if it really fulfill the promise or not. If it doesn’t then we let it go.
To avoid such situations; before I buy anything I keep asking myself for a little longer while; whether I really really need it? After little long waiting; many times I realize that I don’t need it at all. And I feel happy; that my heart is not broken by another false promise by stuff.
I think a common place to find broken promises is in the bathroom–lotions and potions galore! I know I constantly try to clear things out that didn’t work, but they seem to multiply or something. Another area for a lot of women (though only occasionally for me, thankfully) is in the clothing department, especially shoes. How many of us have bought shoes and worn them precious few times? Not being much of a shoe person and having a lot of foot issues anyway, I am always on the lookout for comfortable shoes and have found that sometimes, I misjudged a pair. There’s a pair of black boots back in our POD in the States that is being donated when we get back since I have realized that I never should have bought them.
I hear you! I have bought so many cosmetics, lotions, etc. just to be disappointed, and then I can’t bring myself to toss them because they’re barely used. Well, the old me couldn’t toss them. New me asks around, and if I can’t find them a new home, it’s off to the great vanity cabinet in the sky.
I do the same thing with shoes too. Comfy in the store, but they were just lying to me to get me to take them home. No more!
Don’t look for promises – these are made by advertisement people. They are the ones who promise you will be more beautiful, clever or whatever, they are the ones who can make a wonderland and make you believe in it, and they are known to write reviews for all kinds of things as hidden ads. Look for what YOU need. And this may not have any relation to the first things that come to mind, because we are very cleverly programmed to think this way. Sometimes things can be used in quite a different way. A recent example – my friend had a book which he had bought as a promise to teach him to do some things. The book failed, the money was spent, the promise was not fulfilled. However, the book turned out to be the perfect height and width to be used as a prop at one corner of his desk. I know of people who have bought a home gym equipment and now use it as a rather expensive clothes hanger. It didn’t fulfill its promise to make the owner look like a Schwarzenegger.
My things with broken promises? Makeup mostly. I never learn.
Not sure if this is quite the same but – storage and organisers. To me, they are the ultimate fake promise.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE pretty boxes and well-organised larders and categorised toy boxes and I get ecstatic when I see a new cupboard system that seems PERFECT for X, Y or Z but…
I’m starting to realise it’s a fake promise. Having all the excess stored in a pretty way doesn’t change the fact it’s excess.
Karen
(Scotland)
PS For those who might recognise my name from iheartorganizing comments etc, no, I’m not being a hypocrite. I can only remove so much stuff from our life and home and I’d rather what was left (hopefully just the essentials) is stored neatly and sensibly. :-)
I figured this out last year, and now I say, “Minimalism is the first step in organization”.
I have quite a collection of organizing bins – all shapes, sizes, and textures. I actually thought I needed more before I started minimizing! Now, most of them are empty again and I am waiting to see which ones will work best (for the few things we end up keeping) before passing on the rest.
I agree, we also want what we keep to be organized. It’s SO much easier when it’s just the important stuff!
Organizers are my enemy! But I love them so, so much. It’s a love/hate thing.
One thing I have made a commitment not to spend any more money on is “promises” to loose weight. There are so many programs out there, some good some bad, but what I’m really paying for is the promise to loose weight when in reality the only way I will loose the weight is by diet change and exercise. So to get rid of my extra 15lbs it looks like more veggies and less chocolate and no extra money spent.
When I had my daughter, I registered for more than I needed. I read reviews and found lists of needed items but much of what we received was barely used. I was so overwhelmed by all the baby stuff. All those unnecessary item have already been sold, given to friends and family, or donated. I have only kept the items I’m positive I will use for a second child, one of those being a swing. My daughter also loved being held, rocked and sung to much more but the swing would give me 10-15 minutes to use the bathroom, do dishes, etc….plus she did end up sleeping in it sometimes. I would recommend to new parents to borrow as possible before making purchase since every baby is do different in what soothes them.
Love this post! It gives me so much to think about.
Great post. Keep writing. I never fail to find your posts thought provoking and inspiring.
I don’t blame you for ordering that swing. When you are a new mama and desperate for sleep – you will do anything for it! We have one of those swings and my first child loved it and would only nap in it. My new baby is not a fan of it either but sometimes you have to have something to put them in so that you can change the other baby’s diaper or empty the dishwasher or eat your dinner without holding an infant all the way through it. The thing that has helped us the most to stay minimalist with children is to borrow these types of items. In fact, our crib, changing table, swing, activity mat,pack n play …. have all been borrowed from friends of ours. And we rotate them back to the next person with a new baby. When you have children, you are going to have more stuff. That is just a fact. Children need toys, crayons, coloring books, tricycles…. but we try to buy only quality, wooden toys and do just one big gift for birthdays and Christmas i.e. a little wooden kitchen or a tricycle. You are a great Mom!
Great post, that puts “stuff” in a new perspective, yet one that is so understandable. I know you don’t do facebook or anything, and you might have reasons for not having this option, but if you did the “like” option (the way you have the tweet option), I would be liking all of these and spreading the word more than I already do :)
Oh thi sis expressed so beautifully, I’m going to use your questions as my bench mark now.
Linda – had to chime in as I suffered years with neck pain and the accompanying headaches. I found relief by strengthening my muscles through Iyengar yoga. Also, myofacial self massage (trigger point therapy).
I have a lot of broken promises in healthcare items. I have chronic neck problems triggering headaches and have been suckered into countless pillows, foam rollers, massage tools, herbal and pharmaceutical remedies. You name it. I have tried to buy relief and have ended up donating most of the stuff in my pursuit.
This is EXACTLY why I refuse to buy/read self-help books. I think in the case of promises with any thing, whether it’s a book or pill or baby swing, they were created more to “solve a problem”. We humans LOVE when someone else can solve our problems, so buy up those promises of hope. I believe our society could do so much more if we stopped listening to other people’s well intentioned advice and started listening and analyzing our own thoughts, desires, and emotions. Then maybe we’d do a lot less solution-searching with items, books, pills, etc.
I read self-help books non-stop for a few years. They taught me a lot, until I reached a saturation point and had to digest the ideas and either reject or adapt them to my own life. I agree, there is no substitute for analyzing our own thoughts, even if aided by a good book. What I’ve also found is that not all self-help books are equally useful. Some contain good, universal knowledge and fresh ideas, while others follow a formula and provide endless “fill in the blanks” lists.
Oh, dear, we did that too: bought a swing in hopes of getting my daugher to sleep in it like my friends’ babies! No such luck. She would only sleep in her Ergo carrier, or if I laid down with her in bed, for the first 9 months. It did come in handy as a place to put her when I needed to exercise though, and so we do still have it, and plan on using it for the second baby in the same way.
I was thinking about the wooden playset/swingset we just acquired as I read this post…I am hoping that it gets outside more spontaneously, not just our twice daily planned outside playtime. But, it won’t make the mosquitoes disappear! Thankfully, we go the playset for free off Craigslist (yay! a decreased environmental impact for free!).
My first daughter loved her swing & would nap great in it. My next two daughters hated the swing. It truly varies with each child and it does help if you can borrow to see what your child likes before buying. And as new parents desperate for sleep, you really will try anything. My middle child had colic for 9 months and I tried everything in the book but there wasn’t really any help, she just had to outgrow it.
A hair straightener. My hair is naturally wavy, but sometimes I wish it were straight. I suck at using a hair straightener. I have quite a bit of hair so it takes a while. I get bored half-way through and end up with straight hair in front and slightly wavy in the back. Not the look. So in a recent move, I gave it away. Wavy suits me better! :)
Funny, mine is a curling iron. My hair will not hold a curl unless I use a lot of time, heat, and a whole can of hairspray. I’m finally giving up and ditching all these products and tools. More time, less chemicals and better-looking (although straight) hair …
Nicely put.
I thought I was supposed to keep my wedding dress forever – maybe because it “promised” to remind me of that beautiful day. Well, I have enough reminders. I have an amazing marriage, and plenty of pictures to show for that day.
Now, the dress takes up half the closet as I wait for someone on craigslist to find it, and I am willing to give it away to ANYONE who has an interest in it.
Oh yeah, and if I would have realized this within three years of purchasing it, I could have consigned it – so that’s my advise to any newlywed! Or simply borrowing/renting a dress in the first place. ;-P
There are charities that take wedding dresses.A couple of them are on a list of places to donate,right on this blog. http://www.missminimalist.com/2011/04/where-to-donate-your-stuff-101-places-your-clutter-can-do-good/
Whoa – THANK YOU!
As it turns out, the places that take wedding gowns want them newer than 4/5 years. My local thrift store may just get lucky. ;-P
Oh.Some of these organizations are so picky,geez!
After paying to have my dress “preserved” and boxed by a dry cleaner, after ~ 20 years of having it monopolize space in the closet, I donated it to our local civic theater’s costume department. What a relief and win-win that was and I even got a tax deduction for it!
What a great idea. I will be ringing our local theatre company to see if they would like to take mine. Thanks Bauunny.
I dropped my dress off at a costume shop that is used by the local theatres – BIG thanks for this advise, Bauunny!! It’s finally gone!
I have a preserved dress I have tried to sell about four times and it’s still there, staring at me. I may just donate it and hope for a tax credit. I didn’t want to continue storing it while I was married, and I certainly don’t want it around now that I’m divorced. Argh.
This is a very good post. Gives me a new look at just stuff. I will remember to ask if it is just a promise from now on.
I did just buy a few of the organizing drawers for some kitchen things. Necessary things. So glad I did as the two really large drawers I had them in were always getting jumbled up. Now the baggies and dish towels and dish cloths and cloth napkins have their own space and stay so nicely in order. The two larger drawers went to our closet to keep the few pairs of shoes I do have off the floor and together.
I also agree less stuff =easier to organize and keep it that way.
Just as I feel like I’m no longer prone to the lure of a new promise to make my life sweeter, easier… I have a 19 year old daughter that is tempted by the sophisticated promises of the marketers. Believe me it’s a lot less complicated to calm a fussy baby than it is to reason with a teen.
An expensive lesson. I bought a home sauna, because I enjoyed going to the sauna so much. I thought I would use it after my LOOOONNNNNGGGG days at work. Well, I do love it, but my days are so long at work, that when I am working 3-in-a-row and come home each night, I don’t have much time to use it, because I have to get to sleep right away, and, every time I use it, I have to wash, blow dry, and straighten my hair. So, it takes a lot of time. Not very relaxing, as I had hoped! :P
This is very insightful. Too often those insecurities are introduced to us by advertising so their product can fulfill the promise of taking that insecurity away. They tell us we need to wear designer labels, have perfect faces and hair, and wear size 2. Anyway, both my daughters reacted the way Plumblossom did when I put them into the swing. The only thing they would sleep in was the Sleepy Wrap, which wraps them close to your body (like a hug), while your hands remain free to type. I was able to get hours of work each day done this way. And many meals eaten, dishes done, floors vacuumed, walks taken with a baby tucked in the wrap (just make sure they’re securely wrapped and you’re used to moving around with her in there). That was the one item I would have gladly traded all the activity toys for. I had both babies in it until they were 4 months. Sometimes I still put my 8-month old into it when she has trouble settling down at night. When she falls asleep, I take her out and move her to her crib. Good luck. Thanks for the thoughtful posts.
I have an item sitting in my closet that totally failed to fulfill its promise. It is a gorgeous, expensive, aluminum portfolio case, complete with a handle and a cut-out window, that was supposed to accompany me on client visits for my graphic design practice and show them just how professional, sophisticated and edgy I was. My ever-obliging spouse split the cost of the case with me for my birthday. I think you know where the story is going… I used the case once and found it heavy, bulky, uncomfortable to carry, and taking too much space on the client’s desk during the presentation. Turned out my old nylon tote did a much better job. So the aluminum bulk it currently sitting in the closet, looking beautiful and taunting, and I don’t have a heart to put it up on eBay.
I have been in the Skin Care industry for over 10 yrs. and people spend A LOT of money on promises that they will have youthful radiant skin. I have found good skin to mostly be hereditary. Yes skin care can help but none work as well as they are advertised. The most beautiful “youthful” looking people are the ones who radiate happiness which can’t be bought.
Well said, Anne! Nothing makes a person look more radiant than being excited about something.
We had one of those (many years ago when you still had to crack it over and over) and we, oh and our son, loved it. We nicknamed it “the lobotomy chamber”. Guess it works differently for each kid.
I don’t have children, but I have bought a lot of dog products that ended up being useless. Of course, a few things have ended up being very helpful. You just never know what is going to work for your “little one” so I guess the moral of the story is try before you buy. Certain products can solve certain (real) problems.
Occasionally makeup, skincare, and clothing companies will get me too, but that’s different. There, my problem is insecurity – and no item of clothing or makeup is going to fix that. I’ve gotten much better by only buying in person (not online), where I can try on the item of clothing or eyeshadow and see that it really hasn’t changed me into a new person. I don’t always get great “deals” this way, but I am SO much happier with what I end up buying. I end up with fewer items that are well-loved.
The last time you are starting every writing with Plumblossom thema. I’m really sad that your blog is become a mommie blog and your world is all about your child. Guess; we are just not that into your child. Can’t you see it?
I’ll admit that I visit this blog much, much less than I used to because I have no interest in children, but it’s her blog to do with what she pleases. If you’re not happy with it, you could always ask for your money back….
Just because a baby swing is mentioned, it doesn’t mean the theme of the post is about babies. I think you missed the point here, Kido.
That’s a bit harsh.
I think Francine does a wonderful job teaching life lessons she’s learned while becoming a mother in ways that a general audience can apply to their own unique lives/interests. Simply insert your own item in place of “swing”.
Becoming a parent is one of the most life-changing things anyone can experience, and there’s no way to prevent it from influencing other aspects of your life. I didn’t read this article as gushing about Plumblossom’s latest adventure, I read it as an article about broken promises that material posessions cause. The anecdotal example was a swing; just as Francine’s anecdotal examples from past posts when she was childness may not specifically apply to you, you can still take a general message from it.
Totally agree. I like the old blog much better
Come on,did you read the post? I don’t have kids,but I completely get her point.What she’s saying applies to everyone.It’s not just for parents.I don’t really understand all the hostility coming from some commenters lately.
When she was traveling, her posts were about travel. When she was moving into a new place, her posts were about moving. When she decorates, her posts are about white walls and empty spaces. She bought an item because it promised to do something for her and fell short of those promises. That is a universal concept. She just happened to illustrate it with a real-life example from her own life, which is what this blog is all about. It’s a shame you can’t see past the word “Plumblossom” to realize the post might actually relate to your life too, with or without children of your own.
I think the other commenters did an excellent job at summarizing this post but I just want to clarify one thing. It’s completely normal for a Mother’s world to be all about her child. When you have a child, your entire life and perspective changes. You love and care for someone more than anything or anyone in the world. So naturally it will influence most aspects of your life…. Even though this post isn’t about children just a recent purchase.
I don’t have kids, am not interested in kids and admit visiting this site much less than before .
However, I’m happy that Francine adresses “minimalism with kids”. Because when I talk to friends (who all have kids) about minimalism and decluttering, they tend to brush it off as “a fad for DINKS”. And having hundreds of articles on the thema “how to spend three months in Asia with only a carry-on” is not helping.
So it’s nice to be able to point them to this blog, where Francine tackles minimalism on day-to-day issues that relates to *a lot* of people. It’s nice to show that you can have kids and still live simply. No, it’s not easy but yes, you can do it.
Only with this kind of experience can we hope to make minsumerism a global trend.
Thank you! I began my journey into minimalism when my daughter was one, partly because we needed to reorganize the house so that she would have a bedroom. (She had been in our bedroom since she was born.) I would read the blog and think it was all very well and good, but “Yeah, ANYONE can be minimalist if they didn’t have any kids.” It is really good to see that this is not true. Minimimalism is a state of being. A frame of mind. Something to aspire to. It is not specific to a particular demographic or lifestyle. So before you slam Francine for “changing” her approach to the blog, lighten up! Think about major changes in your own life and how those who cared about you were supportive and those who didn’t…well. I personally love the change and find it more helpful and vital than ever!
Nice. Except, not. Completely uncalled for and rude, in fact. If you do not like the blog, please just don’t read it. That goes for all cranky trolls who think it’s more important for them to like a blog than for the author to write what she has to write.
Actually, some of us WANT to read about minimalism and parenting. There is such an insane amount of marketing toward children/parents, and so much pressure put on mothers. Raising a child outside of the mainstream is not easy, by any stretch of the mind.
I would really love it if Francine would occasionally do a post specifically about parenting and minimalism.
Oh, and we do care about Plumblossom. I’m sure she’s adorable… ;-)
Francine, only you can turn a post about an infant swing into something as englightening as this! Great read :) Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
From personal experience, there is no greater promise than a product which will help your baby (and you) sleep! Even the toughest minimalist can get sucked in!
Helen :)
PS, the swing worked for us (and still does….she’s now 2)!
Great article. Shared on my FB wall :)
WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE A FACEBOOK FAN PAGE??? I WANNA FOLLOW YOU!
I think I find the comments section of this site to function better than Facebook would. Less clutter to deal with.
Lots of us are moms. I like the mom posts. In fact we are waiting to adopt and I would LOVE to have a “Minimalist Baby Items” post. The bare minimal items needed for babies. One area where people really tend to overbuy.
This list is greatly determined by parenting preferences. Our list is so short – so I thought I would share it here… and it can be adjusted as needed.
1. Cars eat
2. Cloth diapers and covers
3. Baby Carriers
4. A few outfits
That’s it!
Other items we enjoyed are:
-Swaddle blankets, but this could be make shifted with many fabrics.
-Stuffed animals, boomerings, blocks, books – not necessary those first months, and toys can be made from household objects quite easily. Children do not know the difference between a toy and a pile of laundry. ;-)
-Jogging stroller – again, once baby is older.
Bacause we breastfeed and share our bed with our babies, so many items are not needed, but those items can easily be added to this list and still be a minimalist list. :-)
Hope that helps!
I have a garage full of broken promises.
I’ve never thought of it from this perspective before. It definitely helps to explain many parts of my journey.
Currently I’m ridding myself on many of those broken promises. And loving the clearing process. And loving writing about it.
It’s also nice to be reminded that this minimalistic path requires us to always be mindful and intentional in our decision making
I don’t think so, unless you count gift wrap.
for whatever reason, the rest didn’t post. I continued with. . .
this is certainly food for thought. I can look back at several purchases and realize that — in fact — they were not what I needed even though I thought that I needed them. And, because of these “burns” — I’ve been much more cautious moving forward with purchases.
Oh, I have plenty of those broken promises around my home, and I vow to find them all. I have been really cleaning out and minimizing, and your blog posts are very encouraging and help me on my mission. Thank you for another thoughtful post! And to answer your question all those piles of papers I have lying around have made the same promise to be there when I need them, yet they are all here cluttering my life when I don’t want them, and when I do need one I can’t find it.
My 23yo son came home with an 8 week old kitten with the intention of it staying in his room (litter tray and all)with the promise being that he would care for its every need, also, maybe subconsciously, that this tiny kitten would always remain a tiny kitten.
I fell in love with her and now she’s nearly 2 years old and my son has since left home. Well she was on heat at 6months old and so we had her spayed. I take care of her,and love her dearly, but it was not my intention.
I just wish that people would stop buying sweet cute little kittens and puppies for gifts for themselves or other people because the animals grow up to be sensitive and needy adults, many who become neglected and dumped when they are no longer baby animals. Gail
Very true, Gail. At Easter people get their kids chicks and rabbits, but once the kids lose interest, the animal usually gets handed over to someone else or just released outside on its own. Too many people treated animals like inanimate objects, to be given away or abandoned when the animal becomes “inconvenient”. People need to think about the commitment an animal requires and not adopt a pet unless they are prepared to care for the animal as long as it lives.
My home used to be filled with broken promises… one of them was a baby swing, that neither one of my boys ever liked, well maybe one liked it for two weeks and then it was over. My home was filled with homeschooling books because I thought I could be the best homeschooling mom with them, filled with an amazing amount of arts and crafts, because I htought I would be the best artsy mom. I used to have tons of cook books, because I thought they would make me love to cook more. I had many of my mother’s pieces of furniture and precious antiques, because I thought I could hold on to her that way… the list could go on and on. I am sure I still have some broken promises here…. but not as many as before. And it feels so much better
Musical instruments….except I believe I broke promises to them, as well.
An excellent point. Sometimes we break promises to our stuff and to ourselves about our stuff.
I bought an easel to paint and I haven’t painted anything new since I bought it :(
If I haven’t used it by the time I move again, I will make myself give it away.
I had great success with the swing. I used it every day while I cooked dinner. Each baby is very different. I got the swing for free from my cousin. There were other items that didn’t work out as well (also free), like the doorway bouncer. I think the best thing is to borrow these items and test them out before getting one or get them for free.
We purposefully tried not to get too much equipment, though I still think we had two much. We had very little compared to most modern parents. If I was to do it again, I would have just one item that baby can sit/swing in. Preferably one the baby liked and used.
New parents are easy pray for marketers and especially stores like target that particularly target moms and moms to be. They are able to find out if you are pregnant through your purchases and send you coupons in the mail specifically tailored to your pregnant state before you’ve even told your spouse. New mom’s beware.
Always insightful Francine…. will go away now and look at my current list of possible purchases with new eyes.
What a great way to relate simplicity to motherhood and family. It’s easy to get bogged down in stuff with these vocations. I found that I borrowed any gadgets that seemed useful to see if they would work for my crew. After 5 kids the gear I found that I needed was a strap on baby carrier (ergo worked the best for me but, I borrowed a few other brands before deciding) instead of a stroller, swing, bouncy seat and the like. Breastfeeding eleminates so many other gadgets and a pac-n-play as a bed lasts until they’re about 18 months and can be stored easily (or used for travel). Really aside from a car seat, a few outfits and diapers there was nothing else necessary. If you can avoid the “baby stuff” trap you can say no to almost anything.
Why is family less relevant to simplicity than weddings and travel? I’d say it is used as one of the biggest opportunities for sales and marketing and is wonderful to see addressed along-side all of the other concerns. Thank you for sharing these aspects of your life with the public. The insights are applicable in many walks of life and I enjoy reading all of them.
” I’ve found that you don’t “perfect” minimalism and call it a day—you have to keep working on it as life throws new challenges your way.”
This idea is central to our endeavors to become better and pursue happiness in my opinion. You can pull the lens out and apply this idea to any aspect of our lives that we try to “perfect”. Being a better husband, wife, student, and <b<finding happiness is about adjusting always.
Thanks for this idea and thanks for your thoughts. I’m a new reader and plan on being back.
“I’ve used this example not because I’m becoming a mommy blogger,” i’m a mom and your advice/ insight is invaluable. please continue with minimalist mommy blogging subjects!
great post – i’ve been feeling pretty good lately with my decluttering efforts, until this morning when I did a spring clean on my wardrobe. There we several dresses that i put in a “maybe” pile because of promises not delivered. I found it hard to part with them, thinking maybe the “promises” could still happen, if I just kept them another year.
after reading your post, I realise it ‘s time to release these dresses from their “promises” to me, as I’m just keeping them captive selfishly and hoplessly. (some are too tight, some too itchy, some an unflattering colour – these are things that are not going to change!)
So they’re all leaving my closet tomorrow, to find new owners who they can serve better.
Thanks so much for your post today, it really helped me!
I’ve found that there is a lot of trial and error with baby and kid items. We end up donating a lot. Buy used, or get hand-me-downs! I just finished purging a lot of my 5-year-old’s stuff that she doesn’t use.
This blog is more interesting when it doesn’t cover “mommy topics”. I am childfree by choice and don’t care at all about babies or their assorted accesories.
I still love this blog. I am also childfree by choice, but I have a husband and three dogs and I can certainly relate to keeping “stuff” related to broken promises. Oftentimes it’s dog training equipment for a project neither I or the dog ended up enjoying, and sometimes it’s something I used with one dog but it’s not useful for anyone else (they are different sizes and different breeds). I don’t think you have to be exactly like someone to learn from their experiences, or to enjoy reading their stories. And I can certainly relate more to the kid stories than I can to the ones about someone traveling the world with all their stuff in one backpack.
I have a closet full of designer dresses that I never wear. I am already a fair way down the road to a minimalist life, but those dresses still have to go! I’m a jeans and cardi person in winter and a shorts and tshirt person in the summer. The dresses are pretty but they are not ‘me’ and they don’t fit my life. So the dresses need to go, along with the expensive stiletto heels I brought to impress a former boyfriend and can barely walk in. Oh – and the jewelery I bought thinking it would cheer me up on a down day.