Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, Jess tells us her story: how she overcame her early hoarding tendencies, and is now pursuing a (wonderful) life free of clutter and excess.
Jess writes:
I have always had hoarding tendencies. As a child, I had many, many toys, dress ups, books, a gorgeous cubby house complete with a plastic tea set. I loved all my things, and couldn’t wait for Christmases and birthdays to get more stuff. When I was 6, my family sold almost everything we had, including the house my dad built, bought a caravan and set about Australia on a four year trip. It was a magnificent time, and we lived with just the things our family of five could fit in a 22-foot space. I took the toys I really wanted, slept in a small bunk and had a tiny cupboard for my things.
We eventually came back to our hometown in 1999 and bought a house again. I, for some reason that none of us can now fathom, got the big room and it was soon full of stuff. I became known amongst family and friends as a mini-hoarder, room full of possessions, piles and piles of papers across and in my desk, knick knacks and books galore, dangly things hanging from the ceiling and walls, lots of furniture, toiletries and loads of clothes. I always packed too much when going on trips and this fact was commented on by all who saw the luggage.
In 2007, all my year books and twelve years of school work packed into several boxes, I set out on a volunteer trip to west Africa. As you can guess, the experience profoundly impacted me, the mixture of travel and poverty bringing me to the realisation that I have TOO MUCH STUFF, most of it not appreciated. There is a diary entry from this trip detailing things I wanted to get rid of which was written when one night I was laying in bed thinking of my room. as I went through each thing in it, unnecessary and outgrown items were added. When I got home, I began a long process of decluttering and minimalising. There were growing pains, including a year living out of home in which my stuff occupied two rooms, and a wardrobe that was bursting because I thought buying secondhand meant that you could still have a huge wardrobe. But the culling began again, especially when I had to move four times during the first year of university.
Earlier this year, I came across your and other blogs which inspired me so much to achieve the freedom in having little I had begun to desire five years ago. My wardrobe and accessory stock is 3/4 smaller, CDs, DVDs and books culled, bathroom gear to the basics, a few trinkets, furniture which is all used and appreciated. My family all pitched in to buy an investment property which I would live in and manage. I choose the small bedroom, because I have only just enough stuff to fill that! My parents, a far cry from what they thought of my stuff as a child, were annoyed with this and questioned it, saying I am the owner, I should have the big room. This way of thinking makes little sense to me anymore, because a) I don’t have enough stuff to fill that room and a housemate needs to bring all their things into an already furnished house, and b) I am achieving lagom, the right amount; the room I’ve chosen is that philosophy, and because I’m doing this for my freedom, nobody’s opinion will affect it. I love my little room.
I became vegetarian; minimalism was a core influence on this decision. I travel so very lightly now, just bringing what is needed. I still have a bit of stuff, but everything I have is now appreciated, has a purpose, but I am not attached to it. I feel free and it is wonderful.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
What a wonderful story, Jess! Funnily enough, I developed hoarding tendencies as I got older. I put this down to the fact that, unlike your example, I had very little as a child. My parents always apologised for us having so little, so I guess I grew up subconsciously thinking I was deprived of ‘stuff’. Maybe if they hadn’t have felt the need to be apologetic, I would never have felt that I was somehow missing out. It took me a long while to overcome my desire to hoard, but I think I am getting there slowly!
Hi Jess, what a wonderful story of exploration and discovery. Your story shows that even with the best will, sometimes there a bit of hoarding bounce back – but that it can be overcome. Thanks for sharing your experience and the excellent word: lagom. Tim
Now that is an inspirational story!!! You go! From annoying people by having too much, to annoying people by having too little. You’re doing it right! <3. Miss Minimalist has fueled the desire for better living with less. :)
This is wonderful and very brave of you!!! I absolutely love it when hoarders turn into minimalists when exposed to the less privileged regions of the world.
Oh, yes, I was a hoarder as a child too! I think it’s wonderful how your expanded worldview helped you to overcome your hoarding tendencies.
The theme of travel runs throughout your minimalist story; it’s interesting how travel made you re-evaluate your possessions. Good luck with your minimalist journey :)
Jess, great story! The fact that it led to vegetarianism as well is very interesting (and appropriate in many ways). Enjoy your life without clutter!
I love that you say you still own some things, but that they mean the most to you, but more importantly that you feel free – that you are unattached, that if you lost everything it would be ok. For me, that is the main goal, not to have less than X amount of things or live with specific rules, but to be unattached. How awesome that you have already found that out in your life and can live the rest of it FREE!
MarieG LifeSimplyBalanced.com
I too used to travel with big suitcases in the bad old days before luggage with wheels was invented. Gawd. I vividly remember lugging it round for a full day (travelling delays). Nowadays I have a tiny rucksack/wheeled trolley and my back is so very very grateful… ;-)
hi jess! what a fantastic story! i am about your age too im 24, also in Australia and moved around a few times during my first year or two of uni lugging around much much too much stuff (so much so that i had half of it sitting in big boxes and bags on the floor the whole time i was living there because there wasnt enough storage space for it all!). i would like to hear a bit about your caravan adventures as a child. i have 3 kids and the oldest is 4. sometimes i think about going on a caravan adventure but i can imagine it being difficult with kids, although i know how fun it would be! how did it compare to living in a regular home? were you all homeschooled?
Hey Jess! I LOVE that you picked the smaller room because it was your lagom! I would’ve done the same. I guess you’re proof that once a hoarder, doesn’t mean always a hoarder.
Jess, your story is so moving!! The best part is when you say that you are able to enjoy the things you own but still not feel attached to them. That freedom is… just priceless. I am slowly and bit by bit following your example ;) Wish you all kinds of happy.
Having just enough is very freeing. Because we have space, we are storing some things for our kids. Luckily, they fit in our cabinets. My mother in law had a lot of dishes and furniture and my mom is a hoarder. g
Good for you to learn to live with less when you are young.
The only things I really collect are earrings. I have a small wardrobe, very few books, and a few craft items. We have given away most of the things we don’t use. I gave away the earrings I don’t wear and I kept the ones I wear all the time. I don’t wear scarves or necklaces very often but the earrings fit on one shelf. I usually get them second hand or for gifts. That’s as close to minimalism as I think I will get.
I gave away 8 pairs of earrings I hadn’t worn in years. I gave my daughter some silver ones I liked because I had some that were similar. I still have about 40 pairs of earrings. Then I donated some cups and small bowls to the local historical society. They sold 4 bowls right away. I still have quite a few bone china cups and small plates and bowls my kids aren’t interested in keeping. My daughter in law wants some wine glasses I kept from my MIL. Since she is a foot taller than I am they are way up in my cabinet. No one else has asked about any other dishes.
We were at my son’s for Mother’s Day. He grilled some chicken and vegetables. He lives in Chicago and said in 1940, 9 people lived in his house. He said there were very few closets. I said (I’m 67) that when I was young people had far fewer clothes, toys, and other possessions. We played outside a lot more, read a lot, and changed into old clothes if we weren’t going somewhere. I remember laying on the floor, reading the newspaper when I was in about the 4th grade.