Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
I think you’ll find this story from Kelly quite inspirational. To read more about the impact of minimalism on her life, please be sure to visit her blog.
Kelly writes:
My journey to minimalism started twelve years ago. That was the year my then-husband and I moved from Texas to Ohio. We filled the largest possible U-Haul we could find and still left behind boxes and boxes that would be transported later by my parents. After getting settled in a much smaller rent-house, the book Clutter’s Last Stand by Don Aslett came into my life. I spent a week in a daze as I cleaned out and cleared out. Six carloads went to Goodwill and I felt lighter than I had in years. Fast forward to the year 2007. During that time Aslett’s lessons fell by the wayside and we had upsized houses twice and were living in a 2500 square foot abode in the nicest part of town. And that house was full to the gills with junk. I had also had two babies in that time period with all the associated baby and child junk that goes with them.
When my marriage ended, I decided to move myself and my daughters to something smaller. I bought a 1200 square foot house and, with the help of good friends, moved all that I needed to move in one day. This house actually had room to breath. That was the real beginning of my minimalism journey. I read every book I could get my hands on to fan the flames of it and read related blogs daily. I was always getting rid of things and teaching my kids to do the same. This past summer I decided to move again. Our new rent house is 900 square feet. Even though I had gotten rid of a lot of stuff the previous move, I still managed to leave behind a garage full of junk.
I think we will be staying in this house for a while. But my ultimate goal, once my kids are out of my house, is to build or buy a tiny house that is 150-200 square feet. That won’t be for another 10 years or so. In the meantime, I am always conscious of what impact any item might have if I were to acquire it. Every thing that comes into my life must pass the acid test of whether or not it will eventually fit in my tiny house.
My life is much simpler now than it was a decade ago. Take my wardrobe as an example: In the cold months my uniform is a black shirt and jeans. I have 3 black shirts and several pairs of jeans. In the warmer months, I keep no more than 5 outfits which allows me to have a little wiggle room on doing laundry twice a week. My bathroom supplies consists of a toothbrush, a hairbrush and some sunblock lotion for my face. Getting ready in the morning takes 10 minutes tops.
I have always loved books and I thought long and hard about how they fit into my lifestyle, particularly how they would eventually fit in my tiny house. I decided to keep one nice wooden bookshelf and I only keep the books that can fit on that. I find it to be a good balance in allowing me to have something I love but at the same time keeping the acquisitions in check.
I’m not at the level of the 100-thing challenge but I do love an observation by the “guy named dave.” He says that simplicity cannot be pursued in and of itself for very long since nature abhors a vacuum. We must have some greater purpose that living a simple life frees us up to pursue. I find this so true in my life. I had to focus on getting down to the basic, minimal stuff but then that freed up a lot of space, time, money and mental powers to focus on other things, things that I find are of lasting importance such as my spiritual pursuits and my family.
If I could leave your readers with one thought, it would be to allow that the pursuit of minimalism is not a one-time thing. It’s an on-going thing and sometimes you will take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. But other times you will make a huge leap forward, a leap to the next level and those leaps are what make it all worth the continued pursuit.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Thank you for reminding me why we do this. Francesca.
I started this change in my life 15 years ago and it’s still ongoing – I still declutter daily and constantly adjust my habits to suit a simpler, less obstructed life. It’s not barebones minimalism, but I have a vastly increased awareness on all levels. It has changed everything and it’s all positive!
I love the Tiny House website and those ultra small living spaces. Mostly I just love the idea of being completely unencumbered by stuff and physical real estate. I have to admit a tiny part of me also loves the idea of the reaction I’d get from others for moving to that sort of life style. The rest of my family is pretty mainstream in terms of their housing choices and I have to say while none of them is really a minimalist, they certainly all appear to have things under control. But announcing that I was moving to a 200 or even 600sqft house would completely stun them. It might even worry them. I once mentioned to a friend that I couldn’t wait to downsize from our “dream house” and she immediately asked if I was okay. She was concerned that after years of carefully designing, building and decorating our home, that I was suddenly prepared to just walk away from it. She figured there had to be something seriously wrong. I tried explaining that our home reflected the dreams I’d had in my 20s but not longer reflected who I was or what was important to me. I would love to spend 6months a year travelling, and worring about my unattended home and piles of treasured stuff just doesn’t fit into the future I now crave.
I’ll stick it out here for another ~6yrs until our youngest heads off to college. In the meantime I continue to purge for the future downsizing. Once she’s out the door, the for sale sign goes up. In the meantime I scour the internet for floorplans and ideas for my future tiny home.
In highschool psychology class, I learned that one of the signs that someone is contemplating suicide is that they give away things that were once considered very precious to them. As I’m going through my mountain of clutter and giving things away, I’m actually waiting for someone to ask me if I’m going to kill myself. In my case, however, with every childhood treasure that I purge, I feel lighter.
Has anyone else here, besides JMK, experience the “are you okay?” from loved ones?
No, but I have felt as I declutter more and more I am saying goodbye to life – but I have no desire to die. Weird, huh? Maybe I’m aiming for a rebirth?
With minimalism our lives of course become much simpler, but you mentioned my favorite part of the process; through minimalism we have to get to know ourselves because once the unimportant has been removed, we have to figure out what the important is. De-cluttering is just the beginning of the journey!
MarieG LifeSimplyBalanced.com
Thank you Kelly for leaving me with that final thought. That is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have been spinning my heels trying to minimise and simplify my life AND develop the new habits and pass-times that will develop the life I want to live. I have been getting nowhere, overwhelmed with lists and tasks and constantly feeling frustrated and a failure.
Your thoughtful comments have made me realise I’m doing this wrong. I need to minimise and simplify my life BEFORE I can develop the life I want to live. Hopefully this realisation will be a big leap forward for me as you described, but even if it isn’t, thank you for giving me hope again. I am truly grateful to you.
Polly: I’m so glad my story has helped you! Keep up the great work and hang in there!
You are so right about this being a journey. Sometimes we must come home and regroup before moving forward again. After all the time I have been living simply I still find myself boxing up things to give away. I suppose it is a human thing. Thank you for sharing your own story. I also live the tiny house idea and want one when my son is grown and moved out on his own. Bless you.
How are the children adapting? Thank you for reminding me why I do what I do.
Heather: My eldest has ADHD and moving her to a smaller place and then teaching her to only keep around her the things she really loves has helped her TREMENDOUSLY! Kids tend to mimic what their parents model and I notice both my kids making conscious decisions about Stuff on their own these days. Doing it myself was better than a thousand lectures!
Lovely!!!
Good post, Kelly! I like what you shared about knowing what purpose our minimalism has. I think that is why it does not make sense to many people–they don’t have a purpose. I hope you get your tiny house one day! I see so many amazing-looking tiny houses on Pinterest.
Thank you so much for your inspiring story and your encouragement – two steps forward and three steps back, indeed. Working toward minimalism often feels like a voyage in self-discovery, and while it is a positive process, there’s also a scary element to it. I’ve found that removing the material “padding” that surrounds me forces me to face myself and what I really want. I can no longer rely on material distractions to fantasize about . It’s a lot like holding up an unsparing mirror and taking a ruthless look at what I still need to do and improve to get to where I want to be. It’s good, but it’s not for the faint of heart.
Sorry about my squirrelly use of html tags. My post should read, “… to fantasize about what my life would be like.”
It is my plan to move into a converted van when my sons are out of the house (5 years or so). I want to travel the backroads of this beautiful country of ours and see every climate, season, geological wonder,big city, and quaint town it has to offer. Everything i do now is toward that goal, it’s actually kind of fun whittling down my possessions to keep only what I will live with in my van.
Good wishes to all on their journeys!
Love these weekly personal stories, they’re so inspiring :)
Thanks for your inspiring post! Don Aslett helped me too, beginning in the late 90’s. It was his idea that just organizing a bunch of stuff still meant you had to clean, insure, and buy/rent space for all the stuff. I always thought that if I had room for stuff I didn’t have too much. But I had too much room! Once I got rid of the excess, I didn’t need what Don calls “junk bunkers,” and I was on my way to a minimalist lifestyle and a smaller ecological footprint. My journey has been over the last 15 years or so, and it has made me happier, healthier, and more focused on what’s important in life.
Wow, what an amazing story! Love your insight on minimalism and its pros/cons. Thanks for sharing.
Facing our needs vs wants is a challenge for all of us. Decisions are always hard. We need so little to live and have so much we don’t need.
I want to live with just enough. I never stock up, one or 2 of most things are plenty. I don’t take free samples because I usually don’t need or use them. I have plenty of hobby supplies and I keep giving things away. less really is more.
Yesterday, we took 2 bags full of things to Goodwill. My husband came back with a book and I came back with hobby supplies I promptly gave away. I tried to clean out my Mom’s space at the nursing home and had a big tote bag full of plastic bags to recycle. Of course, my mom wanted to keep all the bags. Then I tried to take more winter clothes to store at my apt and she got upset. At least she only has a small space to fill now, instead of a large condo.
My mother wants to keep old newspapers and magazines. This has been her goal for as long as I can remember. If things aren’t crammed full and there are no huge piles, it bothers her. I have saved a few things for her here in my home. Some books, clothing, and awards she won when she worked. I like my floors clear and papers sorted or recycled. I have her papers in a folder, put away in a drawer.
We went to the store to buy socks for my husband. I didn’t see anything I wanted or needed except a drying rack for sweaters. So we are getting rid of a folding table we haven’t used in 10 years. My son has bigger, sturdier ones we borrow when we need them.