A few years ago, I was reading Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and came across the most beautiful phrase: “the traveler’s exquisite lightness of being.” It became a sort of personal mantra for me as I whittled down my possessions to a single bag, and traveled throughout Europe and Asia with nothing more than a large purse. I’d never felt so light, so liberated, so free.
Now that I’m back Stateside, and settled down (for the time being) with a little one, I find myself once again meditating on this concept. Can I still realize this exquisite lightness of being, even though I’m not on the road?
I think so. The key: looking at life as one big, wonderful, extended journey—and keeping the associated baggage as streamlined as possible.
But this concept applies to far more than just possessions. When I travel, I’m not only unencumbered with material things, I’m free of schedules, worries, and obligations. I’m usually unplugged (no laptop and no cell phone), and often so immersed in the here and now that I even forget to take photographs.
That’s my exquisite lightness of being: living completely in the present moment.
Which brings me to some difficult choices. Life with a toddler involves far more time and energy than I’d ever imagined…and I’ve become acutely aware that every minute I’m staring at a computer screen, I’m not staring into my little girl’s beautiful eyes and watching her discover the world around her.
What I’m craving now is a total immersion in the present. I don’t want to put Plumblossom in her pack-and-play in order to check email, or write blog posts in my head while I’m reciting nursery rhymes. And when she’s cozy in her crib, I don’t want to make a mad dash to get online; I want to sit out on our deck and stargaze with my husband.
This time in our lives is fleeting, and I want to savor every moment—and right now, that involves decluttering my digital life in favor of my real one.
Blogging involves a fair amount of navel-gazing; and in my opinion, this self-analysis can sometimes feel like an added weight on one’s soul. In contrast, I’d like to live each moment like Plumblossom does—appreciating the beauty and wonder of the world, without the burden of documenting it.
And while I miss you all dearly, I think that right now she needs me a little more. Between my book and blog archives, there’s a wealth of information and support for anyone interested in minimalism and decluttering. My daughter, on the other hand, relies on me minute by minute for her well-being and happiness. I’m her interpreter, her teacher, her companion as she explores this strange and beautiful world.
And she certainly keeps me on my toes—she started walking at nine months, and running through the house shortly thereafter (note: minimalism is the best babyproofing!). Now, at fifteen months, she’s obsessed with language—spoken, signed, and written. She knows more signs than I do, can recognize and sound out most of the consonants in the alphabet, and appears intent on figuring out the words in her books. Yesterday, she wrote her first letter (an “M”) while saying “Mama” and pointing to me. So when she looks to me expectantly, excitedly–whether it’s to read, stack blocks, or do ballet with her in the living room–I can’t bear to turn away towards my laptop.
In motherhood, I’ve discovered a deeper minimalism: one that has more to do with being than possessing. One that’s challenging me to let go of ego, of ambition, of self, and find joy in the simplest pleasures of life.
I don’t consider this a farewell post, though, as I have no intention of closing my blog. I’ll keep running the Real Life Minimalists series, and drift in and out when I have thoughts to share—just not on any fixed schedule. At the moment, I’m devoting my darling’s (dwindling) naptime to working on my next book. When she’s a little older, and playing independently, I hope to be able to post again with more regularity.
That said, Plumblossom, my husband, and I are now off on a little walk, to get some fresh air and see what new shoots are coming up in the garden—and to enjoy, together, our exquisite lightness of being.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide}.
That was really beautiful! When our children grow older and more independent, we are not going to think : “I wish I spent more time in Facebook!” Or writing my blog, or tweeting, or whatever. My girl is now four and I am beginning to realize that her childhood doesn’t last forever… I know I spend too much time on the computer and you inspire me to cut down that time. And what could be more perfect time than spring, to do that! Also, we were just on a two week trip and traveling light as a family, and I didn’t even check my e-mail for the whole time. And I didn’t miss being on-line AT ALL. I want to have that feeling all the time now!! Having just moved again to a small one-bedroom apartment with very little stuff, helps me.. But there is still the lure of the internet, sigh. Thank you for this post, and have many many precious moments with little Plumblossom! And good luck with the new book, I will definitely check it out :)
I can only second Vappu. Kids grow up too fast and how time spent with them impacts their whole life. Enjoy! :)
Good for you!!! When my son was born, my internet time was nil and it stayed that way until he was almost 4 before I even attempted to get online for something other than a quick peek. I think this is a great reminder for me. Thank you. Now go enjoy your family.
Francine, just go with the flow! I’ve found that I’ve gone through periods of needing to take a break, and periods where I absolutely NEED to write, in order to maintain my sanity.
I had a friend, who wisely said to me one, “in e-mail there are no awkward pauses.” I think the same holds true for blogging. :-)
Wishing you wonderful time with your daughter. I’m a commuter minimalist mommy, and while I will miss reading you on my bus ride, I completely understand the urge to spend as much quality time with our little ones as possible. My son is four and he’s growing up so fast. I’m always trying to minimalize whatever else I can to maximize the time I get to spend with him. Enjoy and I look forward to your surprise posts!
You’ve made the right choice. Enjoy and don’t come back until you’re ready. Looking forward to your new book!
I admire your choice. I just returned from visiting my daughter and her precious little baby girl (her first child and my first grandchild) who is just 3 1/2 months. Between all the play on the little mat, walking to the park in the stroller, snuggling, singing, reading, chit-chatting, and generally keeping immersed in the joy of caring for this child, my daughter and I had little use for TV, computers, smart phones, facebook, etc. What a gift you are giving to Plumblossum. You will never regret time spent with your child, only time not given to her.
Hi francine, what a beautiful post – Makes me appreciate my own parents alot more too when I think of all the simple sacrifices they make for me on a daily basis!
Thanks for reminding us all about the importance of stillness & family (:
Congratulations on coming to terms with what is truly important in life. Best wishes to you and your lovely little family. I’ll go back and re-read your older posts occasionally to stay on track with my own journey. This blog post I’ll save for my daughter to reflect on as she starts her own family.
I’m both bummed and delighted at the same time. Is that possible? Let me explain. Last year I started working on a site that would let me pursue my passion, which is to help people transform their relationship with money. I just launched the site three weeks ago on March 1st. In my search for sites on the web that would compliment my theme, I found you ~ on YouTube actually.
I loved your energy and message so I checked out your site…loved that, too! I joined your email list just this week and as luck would have it, your farewell message was the first email I received. That’s where the bummed part comes in. HOWEVER, I am so inspired by what you wrote and the reason behind your decision that there’s no reasonable emotion to feel but delight that a person can make such an difficult decision for such an important reason. I commend you for that and will look forward to reading more on this site while waiting for the occasional message in my inbox.
Please know that you have been an inspiration in the incredibly short time I’ve been aware of you. Your family is fortunate to have you as a mentor, mother, wife and friend.
Cheers,
Ree from Escaping Dodge
Lovely post and heartfelt sentiment. I also think that it is a good example for the rest of us to follow, whether we have kids or not. Vappu commented, “When our children grow older… we are not going to think, ‘I wish I spent more time in Facebook!'” I’d like to adapt that to say, when WE get older, when years or decades have passed, we are not going to think, “Man, if only I had been plugged in MORE. If only I had checked my e-mail MORE and spent MORE hours on the internet.”
I’ve been spending too much time on things like Pinterest, looking at others’ creations instead of creating my own, and this post surely highlights the importance of now. Take care.
Good for you Francine and lucky Plumblossom too.
The online world will always be there, your daughter’s precious early childhood will not.
I have 3 girls myself…9,5,2. I really savour the time with my youngest. Even though we’re in the thick of the terrible 2’s, with the eldest I’ve seen how quickly these wonderful years pass: I’m still trying to work out how I have a 9 year old!
Enjoy and embrace every single minute!
Helen xx
Good for you, Francine! Enjoy these fleeting days to the fullest. We will always be delighted to see an update whenever you can pop in for a visit. Hugs for all…
OMG, you’ve so got your priorities right! Good for you. I remember when my son was at that age. I got so frustrated sometimes because I couldn’t get anything done for myself. Then I got some really good advice from another mom. Basically, the first two years you have to just focus on your child and forget about getting anything done, it’s just not gonna happen. So once I gave up this expectation that I need to be productive, I simply enjoyed watching my child grow up. And now that he’s much older, I so wish I could go back in time and visit this so precious, precious time in our lives. Savouring every minute is exactly the best thing to do.
Tip: If you eventually want to get something done when she’s a bit older, try to swap babysitting with other moms or dads. I found that the most perfect solution, other parents make the best babysitters and it’s free.
NOW is all there is, do not miss it.
Totally agree with this comment!
Looking forward to when you are ready to return.
Very wise choice.
Your post reminds me of a wonderful line from Milan Kundera’s novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
“When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.”
Listen to your heart! And thanks for writing one of my very favorite blogs. Looking forward to your new book.
Well said, and excellent points about how our children influence us. Great post.
I feel this is the very best post on this site. I’m having some of the same thoughts myself and I think this is wise insight about life. Very undervalued in today’s society. Thank you for sharing.
You go, girl! There’ll be no regrets later. Promise.
I guess I’m lucky that I was raising kids before the Internet existed! Take your time…it goes by so fast. All the best to you.
People spend way too much time online. There is a real world out there. Francine has discovered it. It’s called real people in real life. Good on you, Francine! (We all kind of knew that “Miss Minimalist” the site would wind down gracefully once darling Plumblossom became your (correct) priority!)
Ohhh, I’m going to miss your blog posts. I just discovered your blog last week and I think I’ve read just about every post! And I’m almost done with your book. I hope that you at least write little blurbs every now and then, this blog has made me view my life in a new light. I wish you the best. :)
Francine~I honor you as a mother and your decision here. I have followed your lead to embark on my, “our” little family of 3 journey to minimalism in our life. I have a sweet babe of 3yrs., I have a story, a story of minimalism, then this past year, Cancer. Enjoy those moments, those eyes, the smiles, the tears….it will all mean the most when you are gone one day. It is only that in which we fill in another’s soul, that we truly need to do or leave behind. Thank you for your presence here but choosing as you have to be present in the space and place that needs you most. Blessings~
The best we can do in this life is to make the best choices for ourselves. I’ll always appreciate the guidance you’ve given me. I think you’re super cool, blog or no blog.
Go for it!! :)
As frequently or infrequently as you post I’m still interested in hearing your thoughts :)
I’m also loving the real life minimalists stories :) it was such a great idea :)
Have fun, play & delight in this special time,xxx
Bravo! You have found that sweet spot so many people seek. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t lose sight of it. What a feeling of heavenly bliss you must be experiencing. Our world would be a much better place if all parents were to have their priorities in the correct order. Our children are our future. Our families and friends are our present. Computers, cells, televisions, games and anything else that takes us away from what is important are all way down on the list of priorities.
As others have stated, I always look forward to your posts anytime you do post. They help me in my search for balance between what is important and what I always thought was important.
I’m happy to see the Real Life Minimalist series will continue. Everyone’s journey is different and with all the minimalist blogs hashing and rehashing the same information often, it is great to read about the experiences of others. I’m tempted to submit my own ongoing experience.
Peace and Happiness to you and your family.
Jaci
Dear Miss Minimalist. I too travelled to India with only a straw bag on my shoulder. It was wonderful then. After living in the Washington DC. area for 22 years, my two teenage sons and I moved to Alaska to have an adventure and I just wanted more time with them before they left the coop. We sold EVERYTHING and moved with just some of our clothes. It was a great change and I loved our 3 years in Alaska as we were together all the time. We left Alaska again with only our clothes and now I’ve settled down in my Hometown of Toronto with just the things I love.
Our lives have ebbs and tides and minimalism has helped me move on with ease and gratitude for my wonderful life and family. You go girl! Enjoy little Plumblossom and your husband!!
Rita
So lovely to hear from you Francine. You are right, you have so much excellent content on your blog and in your book that we have plenty to go back and read. And ironically (but not surprisingly as this is what minimalism is all about) your minimalist posting schedule makes the times you do get to write a post for us even more special!
I found the last sentence in your post to be so lovely and full of wisdom. Thank you for sharing it.
Such beautiful, thoughtful words. Enjoy your time with your family.
I am so pleased that you have found this new, precious path in your life to follow, Francine. Children are probably the most precious gift we ever get, along with our own parents and love. I do think that the site will now naturally fade away into the ether – you only have to look at how few comments there are now on the “real life minimalist” threads compared with how many comments posts used to obtain. Maybe we will now all move onto a new stage of our minimalist journeys, too? Love and happiness to all.
Freaky – I haven’t looked here for a couple of months and you just popped into my head. I come to check and there is a semi-farewell post from you just yesterday.
Lovely post, good decision. Thank you for all the time and energy you’ve spent putting up posts for others to read (for free.) I do hope you return to writing one day as your blog posts are easily some of the most thought-provoking and well-written posts I have enjoyed over the last few years. I have yet to buy your book (for obvious minimalist reasons… ;-)) but this gives me more reason to do so now – a financial thank you and a memento of the blog.
Go enjoy your little one now.
:-)
You only get one bite at the motherhood cherry per baby and its season is short and sweet. Go enjoy. What are we here for if not to be?
Bravo!
I’m so happy your answering your calling. Immerse your self and Enjoy!
I love this! I do love seeing what you have to say here and will miss that, but I am cheering you on! You are exactly what your daughter needs!
I’m glad to hear you are enjoying your time with your special “Plumblossum”. I loved being home with my children. I will always
cherish those years. I look forward to your future posts and books.
Good for you! The time goes by faster than you can imagine. Enjoy living in the present moment. There’s an expression I remember learning when I was a new mommy: people before things. And even in living a simple, ascetic life, that standard applies. Ridding oneself of material possessions doesn’t guarantee one’s emotional or spiritual priorities are in order. Lucky Plumblossom that you’ve figured that out. Best wishes to your family!
You’ve made the right choice! Thanks for your generosity!
Francine: Whether one’s work is blogging or involves commuting every day, it’s a good thing if you can devote a few years to your child(ren) when they are young. With 40-45 years in a worklife span, there’s plenty of time to concentrate on a child or two for a few years AND directly contribute to the public good.
Best of luck!
I wish I had the opportunity to spend time with my boys like you have with Plumblossom. I think they grew up and turned out pretty well considering……but she is so fortunate to have you as her as her mother, such a blessing…..
There’s a time for everything… and this time is for your baby and your family. Wise choice, MM, children grow up oh so very fast and the time lost can never be regained. Real world over internet any time.
Still – a very selfish note: do not disappear forever, do you see how many of us are waiting for you to return some time? :)
All the best wishes for a continued wonderful “journey” with your family. I personally will miss you and your blog as you have seen me through while I lived by myself overseas in the exciting and challenging country of India. Like you and your husband, I moved with one suitcase and a carry on bag. While living in India, I went to Gandhi’s house in Mumbai to look at his few possessions and became inspired to live a more simple life.
Missminimalist.com continued the inspiration, and constantly reminds me to travel more lightly. Enjoy your time, and I plan to keep coming back in hopes of occasional updates.
I will miss you posting often but I totally understand your decision. I think it’s wonderful that you have the opportunity to make that decision.
Excellent decision! Good luck to you and your family!
I will dearly miss your posts, but will happily reread the many you have already shared with us.
More importantly, I applaud your decision to put your daughter first. Children should always be our first priority, and all the greatest joys and successes in my life have come when I’ve put my children ahead of everything else.
I can’t wait to read the books you write in the future. I hope that one will be advice for living simply with children. (It’s information that is desperately needed by many.)
“…burden of documenting”. How true. I look at all the lists I’ve made for every reason and it’s a burden to reread them. And these are emotional lists, what I’ve thought, what to do next, where I messed up, etc. I woke up this am and wanted to throw all my lists away but felt I shouldn’t. They are like a diary. But I will today, because it’s become a burden to document and in general.
You made the right choice. You are now a mother and your priorities have changed accordingly, inevitably, and predictably. And you will make many more changes in your life because of Plumblossom and it will be gratifying each time because she is worth it. Life is full of twists and turns. But you are a good mother to put your daughter first and will be blessed with peace because you have done so. Congratualtions.
“…burden of documenting”. How true. I look at all the lists I’ve made for every reason and it’s a burden to reread them. And these are emotional lists, what I’ve thought, what to do next, where I messed up, etc. I woke up this a.m. and wanted to throw all my lists away but felt I shouldn’t. They are like a diary. But I will today, because it’s become a “burden to document”.
You made the right choice. As mothers and our priorities change accordingly, inevitably, and predictably. And you will make many more changes in your life because of Plumblossom and it will be gratifying each time because she is worth it. Life is full of twists and turns. But you are a good mother to put your daughter first and will be blessed with peace because you have done so. Congradulations.
I was just thinking of this concept yesterday, as I pondered my first week in Japan (third semester teaching here). I so support what you’re doing. You’ve inspired many people and we have lots of back-posts to reread. I blog about my travels, but recently I’ve realized that I may be spending too much time thinking about how I’d describe what I’m seeing instead of really “seeing” it with my soul. I’ll continue to blog, but this is a good reminder about the amount of time we put into our social media activities. Thanks for all of your time to help others re-evaluate their lives!
Francine, I felt so sad reading your post today, not because you are taking a break – I applaud you! – but because I didn’t do the very thing you are going to do, and it is something I regret very much. I appreciate your wisdom and wish you well enjoying your precious moments with your family. Thank you for the inspiration :)