Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, I’m happy to introduce you to Anna, who tells us (quite beautifully) how minimalism has awakened her to a more mindful, happier life. Please visit her blog to learn more.
Anna writes:
Anna
I began decluttering my living spaces about a year and a half ago, and have been consciously downsizing ever since. Like a lot of Miss Minimalist readers, I reached a breaking point with my stuff. I hadn’t run out of space yet, but I came to the realization that all of the things I’d acquired weren’t working. My clothes kept me warm and my appliances functioned, but the stuff didn’t make me happy or solve my problems. It merely distracted me from what was really ailing me.
The hardest part about decluttering for me was realizing that for years I’d been using “stuff” to stave off feelings of uncertainly, self-doubt, anxiety, and insecurity. I had been a secret binge-eater in college, and as I started to heal my relationship with food, I discovered that I had a similarly hurtful relationship with stuff. Both were things that I used to distance myself from issues I didn’t know how to deal with; I relied on them for short-term comfort. When it was time to open the closets, I felt like I lived in a house full of broken promises. I was facing a timeline of reminders of all the things I didn’t want to feel, and all the stuff that hadn’t made me feel better. Naturally, it felt good to let go of what I didn’t need, with all the bad memory associations, and focus more on really healing my life.
Now, a year and a half later, I have a deeper appreciation of minimalism for these reasons:
Minimalism prompts me to ask how much is really enough, and to answer that question, I have to think seriously about what my real goals, desires, and values are. But once I’m clear on those things, it’s so much easier to select a material life that actually helps me achieve those things, rather than relying on stuff to fill an emotional void. Just like with food, I feel like I now have a “natural appetite” for material things as well. It feels safe to “stop when I’m full,” so to speak; to savor what I have and feel “sated” by it.
To me, minimalism is a powerful, healing antidote for a toxic, materialistic culture. I find myself surrounded by messages telling me that what I have isn’t good enough, out of style, and out of date; that I need more, and if I just had this one more thing, I’d be happy.
But when everything points to some far-off imagined future in which I would hypothetically be happy, I’m drawn away from what I have here and now. It’s very hard to be mindful and grateful in an environment like that! It creates a mindset of perpetual lacking and longing. Minimalism prompts me to focus on what truly makes me happy in the present: people, relationships, all the rich, beautiful experiences of life. It’s like being invited back into my life after being distracted from it for so long. I have a sense of having “beaten the system,” in a way. I still get bombarded with commercial messages about all the things I should do and have and be. But with a clearer vision of my values and goals, it’s so much easier to shrug them off. It’s so much better to feel awake to a simpler life, than to have a ton of stuff and be constantly sleepwalking, dreaming of more.
Feeling so much more happiness day to day, as I strive to live more simply and with greater awareness, makes me much less afraid to pursue my dream of becoming an artist and a writer. I no longer believe I need lots of expensive stuff to feel successful, and I know I can be healthy and at peace in simple spaces. Moreover, I have more money, more time, more space, and more energy to devote to what I love, and I think more clearly and vividly.
I feel very grateful to have minimalism as a tool to filter out everything I don’t truly need and love in my life, and bring my attention back to the things that I do.
I wrote a much longer piece on processing the emotions released by decluttering on my blog, AnnamalHouse, where I also write about topics like food, body image, veganism, and animal rights.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
How much is really enough … what a great question to ask ourselves as we make our way through the day.
How much can I share with others is another musing that opens the doors to releasing all that we hold dear.
Anna, so many good insights in this article…and so true that stuff is often used to stave off feelings of insecurity, etc. Best wishes on your journey.
Thnak you so much for sharing – this sounds very similar to a lot of the issues I have been working through. I also really enjoyed the blog article you linked through to: most thought-provoking. I look forward to reading more on your blog.
I’ve certainly found the emotional issues around my own de-cluttering to be very deep seated and difficult to deal with, but I’m slowly but surely making progress. Like you, I try to use minimalism as a filter system. Over time, I am achieving greater clarity about my life and goals, but it’s been a long and slow process… Still, it is most definitely worth the effort!
Kia kaha – stay strong
So beautifully expressed. You should definitely continue writing!
It feels safe to “stop when I’m full,” so to speak; to savor what I have and feel “sated” by it.
Love this parallel as well as the rest of your article. Goodluck with your journey and with your art and writing.
Beautifully rendered, as above comments reiterate. Great insight to “natural appetite.” Keep writing!
Thanks for being so honest – especially about your relationship with food. I know that must have been hard to share. It’s frightening how quotidian, everyday things like food and possessions (which are supposed to be enjoyed and be simple) can become so complicated!
So glad to hear you’re healing your relationship with both & on your path to happiness! :D
This post was so beautifully written, and was very relevant to what I am struggling with myself right now. Thank you for your incisive honesty. Your blog looks exciting, and I look forward to exploring it further.
Beautifully written! I too, have found that decluttering led to many other changes in my life. I will definitely be checking out your blog.
Thank you for sharing your lessons learned.
I am grateful for similar reasons: “I feel very grateful to have minimalism as a tool to filter out everything I don’t truly need and love in my life, and bring my attention back to the things that I do.’ They are some lovely thoughts.
Minimalism has helped me and my fiance to discover what is truly important in our lives.
Hi Anna, I enjoyed your thought-provoking post especially the connection you draw between overeating and overspending. These are two areas that cause struggle for so many of us. I wrote a recent post on EscapingDodge.com titled “The Art of Personal Archaeology” that encourages us to look at and evaluate our “stuff” in relationship to lifestyle and things. I think it compliments the minimalist themes but focuses more on transforming our relationship with money.
Great read. Thanks for letting us into your life; you are inspiring!
Ree
Just got rid of some baking equipment. I only bake once a year. Got rid of a lot and now my apartment is being painted. Lots of empty drawers and cabinets. Still more to get rid of. When my mom moved in to a nursing home, I had room for her out of season clothes here. I also have her books and jewelry. And there is still empty space.
Visited a relative and cleaned clothes that didn’t fit out of a big closet. 10 big bags full. Also paired socks and cleaned old food out of the fridge.
When I travel, I bring back a foreign coin or two, or a ticket stub. I like small things I can keep in a notebook or a small pouch. When we were on our last cruise, I won a T shirt, a necklace and a watch. I gave the necklace and watch to my mom.
I try to fill a bag for Goodwill every week. I am giving away my Mom’s books to someone who enjoys them. Greeting cards go to a nursing home craft program. Everything that can be recycled is recycled. There is more that needs to go. Whenever someone gives me something, more has to go.