Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
I think you’ll enjoy this story from Sarah P, a law student from Singapore who discovered minimalism while studying abroad. Visit her blog to read more about her travels and experiences.
Sarah writes:
Last year, I spent 9 months studying abroad in Southampton, UK.
Prior to leaving home, I agonized for weeks over how to compress my life into a 30kg luggage and a 7kg hand-carry. I had a closet full of clothes, a dazzling array of shoes, every color of the rainbow, and bags, accessories and books galore. It was torture having to decide what to bring and what to leave behind. Packing took weeks and was excruciating.
Lucky for me, I was flying over with my parents (who were coming along to holiday with me before I embarked on my study abroad). So I had the luxury of utilizing some of my parents’ luggage allowances too – almost half of my dad’s luggage was filled with toiletries and supplies I anticipated I would need. My mom graciously loaned me half of her 30kg allowance for the rest of my clothes. It was still not enough.
Suffice to say, it was a relief when we finally managed to check all our bags in at the airport. We had exceeded the weight allowance (yes, more than 30kg each!) but thanks to a friendly check in lady at the counter, we made it through.
When I arrived in my lovely dorm room in Southampton, I quickly sobered up and realized how little space I actually had. I did my best unpacking and storing as much as I could. But there was just way too much stuff.
Turns out I didn’t need the 5th pair of jeans or 30 plus tops I’d packed. Ditto for the extra bags, accessories and shoes. In the end, I only kept half of what I brought over and sent the rest home with my parents.
I went on to have a wonderful year studying abroad. I travelled to 14 countries and made beautiful travel memories. Living away from home for the first time and enjoying my new found independence was exhilarating. I learnt so much.
In short, I had the most memorable year of my life (to date, I’m only 23). And surprisingly, the best year of my life had required the least amount of stuff!
I wore less than a quarter of the clothes that I had brought over. Often, I travelled with only a week’s worth of clothing (budget airlines charged a premium on check-in luggage so I was forced to fit everything into a 7kg hand-carry duffel).
I’m even more amazed at how little I actually needed to make my dorm room comfortable. I didn’t have a television, living room or a sofa. I shared a kitchen with five other girls. I only had one drawer each for food and toiletries respectively. My textbooks took up a shelf, my kettle another. The top-shelf I reserved for bulky files and my travel guidebooks (only 2). My closet held far fewer clothes than I had been used to. My travel bag was perched, ready for use, in a corner of the cupboard. I had one handbag, one backpack and one bag and for a time, one pair of black ballet flats – no choice at all, but it worked.
Home was simple, easy, a place to rest. I had fewer decisions to make because I had less to choose from – which freed up my time to concentrate on living life. It was an incredibly liberating way to live so minimally.
When I came home 9 months later, I viewed my bedroom through new, minimalist eyes.
I spent the next year clearing out more than half my closet, getting rid of 7 pairs of shoes, and giving away childhood memorabilia that I had held on to for way too long. It helped that my family was downsizing to a smaller apartment – the impending move spurred me to get rid of as much as I could.
We’ve now moved and I’m writing this from the comfort of my new, clutter-free bedroom. I’ve always been an organized person, so my bedroom has always been neat.
But now it’s neat and spacious. I feel such joy and peace when I see emptier shelves, half empty dresser drawers and a closet that’s not crammed full of clothing. Two drawers are completely empty. There’s room to breathe.
I’ve still got a long way to go – for instance, I’m working on paring down my bookshelf (I’m a sentimental bibliophile!) – but simplifying my life has enabled me to live far more richly! I feel free and I’m so glad I learnt this important lesson early in life!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
I love your story, Sarah. I’m in awe that a young woman in her 20s has such a brilliant grip on life. You have no idea how this realization and practice will benefit you later. Just watch…as your friends buy, buy, buy you’ll be free and debt/stress free. I wish I’d been that “awake” at your age!
Loved reading your story, Sarah! I am impressed that you learned the value of minimalism and simplicity so early on in life. What a gift to yourself. Congrats on having the best year of your life…may you have many more!
Thanks for sharing, Sarah. The easiest way to being paring down in my opinion is to separate yourself from your belongings–you leave or they leave for a time. I see a pattern with minimalism among people who have lived abroad (mine really got going when we moved abroad) because you leave items behind and realize you don’t miss them. A similar method can be used without moving abroad–just boxing things up and hiding them. I still use this sometimes. I’m moving again next month and hoping I will get rid of even more things before this move!
Packing light seems to be a great starting point for minimalizing!
Thank you for sharing your story! I love your dorm room, both the size and layout, and your decorating. I admire that you’ve figured out minimalism at such a young age! I wish I had been so lucky to figure it out at a young age instead of my late 30’s. I look forward to seeing more of your travels in your blog!
Sarah you weave a good story and for someone so young, you have learned a lot of lessons through your travelling. Enjoyed reading. Less is More well done.
Hi everyone (and hi Francine!) Thanks so much for the support & encouraging comments! It really means so much to me! I’m grateful to have had this insight at a young age as well – it’s made travelling & life in general alot more freeing (:
@Ree Klein & @Peg Cheng: Thank you so much! Yes, I’m really thankful to have learned this at a young age (especially since I’ll be starting work soon! Living minimally will be a great way to spend more prudently!) Still have a long way to go though!
KelleyAnnie @ Over the Threshold & Mike@WeOnlyDoThisOnce: Agreed, living abroad really forced me pare down my belongings & there’s nothing like a check-in luggage weight limit to make you realise just how much stuff you’ve been clinging on to!
@Kathy – I miss my dorm room now that I’m back! It was a perfect little, minimalist cubby hole! Glad you’re enjoying the blog, you have no idea how honoured I am that you bothered to take a look (:
Good for you Sarah! Just don’t let go of this way of life. I did for awhile then got back into it. I’ve just finished writing my profile and awaiting to see if Francine posts it. Best of luck wherever life takes you.
Diane
Good for you! You’ll find that paring down possessions is just the start–being rid of clutter will free up your energy and resources for all kinds of adventures. Be sure to enjoy the journey!
P.S. I’m on my way to check out your blog.
Sarah, well done darling – so young, so impressive, keep it up :)
Hi All, I’m back to reading this site again (first time posting though) – have read through Francine’s book (absolutely Fabulous!) – I’m already a minimalist (think I always have been – now a young 50), but even I picked up great ideas for becoming even more so – loved it…
Alas, here’s ‘my’ dilemma – my DH (27 years in the military and travelled around the world) has accumulated a lot of stuff! Now, he’s already gotten rid of a lot (I’ll give him that) and I know he loves my style (minimalist with splashes of orchids or fresh flowers, lamps, a few good pictures (framed in white) and that’s about it). Seriously. I’m 50 and my belongings (we just moved) amount to a very small wardrobe – not quite 10 but wayyy under 50 I’d say. Biggest thing I struggle with though is toiletries – how to maintain oneself with the minimum of fuss (and products); that’s what I’m working on.
Anyway, I digress (apologies), back to DH. So his stuff contains several ‘collections’ – ie military stuff (I get that after 27 years), school stuff (diplomas etc), Hard Rock glass collection from around the world (not my cup of tea and when he had them out on display once for several months he never once dusted them), now into beer making so that equipment is growing (and he wants more of it), tools for the garage – his thing is he won’t ask anyone to borrow anything so ends up buying costly items; techie stuff (okay I guess we’re downsizing some ‘except’ when you buy new techie stuff this day and age, it costs a small fortune), 2 massive book collections (1 – the leather bound style that do look nice I must admit but are an absolute bear to move and set up); and the other is too many hardback collections to mention (to be fair to him, he did say he wouldn’t mind offloading them (ie selling them) but they’re practically worthless)…
Our next house is a temporary one (18months) and he wants to leave all his books etc boxed up. I keep asking him, what is the point in carting this stuff around the globe (literally) to stay boxed up. I think one day he’d like to have a den/man cave with all his stuff around him but then he talks about having a pool table and a poker table – he wants wants wants (like a child) and then like most children, gets bored when he gets the new thing. We have 3 tv’s (biggest one 55″) and he wants a bigger one or even a screen projector. I hardly watch any tv at all (it gives me utter brain damage).
I haven’t wrote this post to whinge and whine (forgive me if that comes across); I’m curious though, are there any other spouses out there who struggle with their lovable other half who is the polar opposite in terms of minimalism? His favorite line to me is “I’m living on scraps’ Seriously. And just to end, he has a fine wardrobe (we’ve got rid of tonssss of stuff in that department too). Is it just me? Am I the only one? Okay, I’ll really end here by saying at least he’s tidy and I guess we’re both a bit OCD. I find it incredible that when people come to our home they class me as OCD just because I like things to look good and stay good and I don’t have a lot of ‘crap’ around the place. I hate dust/dirt so it’s just easier. And I can ‘breathe’ easier.
God, that was cathartic – glad I got that off my chest – thanks to anyone who takes the time to read :)
Again, I just love this site and all the amazing stories – even for me as a born minimalist, it’s one of my very favorite things by far on the internet…
It is fantastic how great opportunities in life throw out opportunities for us to learn about ourselves.
Yay for you and finding minimalism. Enjoy your life’s journey.
Hi Sarah (and others).
I really liked reading your post.
I am the same age as you (and also a law student). I brought way to much stuff with me to my dorm-room. I think the thing I’ve done the most is accumulating things for the future, like nice tea-cups even though it doesn’t fit in to my student life. And clothes, way too much clothes.
Now I have decided to take a two-year long break from school (for military service and travelling) and will leave my room. Have started getting rid of a lot of stuff. To be honest now it’s more that I don’t really know what to keep, since I will be away quite long, and don’t know who I will be in two years. The thing I do know is that I don’t want to be burden with stuff, and don’t want my parents to be either (the few things I’m keeping I’m storing at their house).
The thing I find most problematic is getting rid of thing I’ve got from other people, like gifts, when I might like it but it just doesn’t fit into my life. And I’m afraid my parents won’t understand, but I believe they could really use the minimalist thoughts as well. Looking at my child hood home it is not difficult to understand how I too got the habit of accumulating and almost hoarding. But don’t want to blame my parents, and I understand that that could happen when you live in the same house for 25 years. Now I am mostly happy for myself (and others who have discovered minimalism) that I can free myself from materialistic things and go out free in the world. I truly believe that with less stuff life is easier and more free, I can already feel it. And I’m really hoping I can keep this up.
(And might write my own “Real Life Minimalist”-post one day)
Hi everyone, apologies for the late reply (was traveling!) Thank you so much for taking the time to read (& Francine for moderating the comments!)
@Diane from Canada: Thanks Diana! Trying to stick with it (so far so good, managed to travel to the USA – shopping capital! – with only a tiny trolley bag!) Can’t wait to read your story too!
@Bethany (@Journey to Ithaca): Yes, I agree! De-cluttering is so cathartic! I felt energised simply looking around my emptier room! The urge to buy stuff has dissipated as well (: Thanks for reading (:
@Jessey: Thanks for sharing your story – I truly empathise with your frustration as I live with grandparents who are sentimental hoarders. They’re much better now (since we downsized to a smaller apartment) but we still struggle! It’s definitely a process so you’ll need to be patient!
Maybe you could agree to boxing up some of his items for a year & then if DH can’t rmb what’s in the box anymore then he probably doesn’t need it? (worked with my grandparents! After we boxed up items for 2 years, they forgot what was in there & agreed to donate the box of forgotten items without opening it!) Good luck & hang in there! I’m sure DH will come around in time!
@Mark Adam Douglass (Minimalist Couple): Thanks for your encouragement Mark (: And you’re right, life lessons come in the most unexpected ways! :D
@Katarina: Yay, a fellow law student! I can definitely relate to your story as I live with my parents too & in the early years the entire family had SO MUCH STUFF. I also found it hard to pare down my belongings as my family (at least, initially) felt I was being abit (for lack of a better word) “brutally” minimalist and fending off clutter (read: unwanted gifts) from well-meaning family & friends.
Going away for 2 years is a perfect excuse to declutter though! So def listen to your inner minimalist promptings & do what feels right to you! Also, tiny tip that just may work: I’ve found that my parents don’t seem to mind as much when I regift unwanted presents to close friends & cousins (instead of merely donating it to strangers at the thrift shop!) Maybe you could try that? At any rate, all the best for the next 2 years! Hope to read your story on Miss Minimalist someday too!
Still giving away more things. But more is coming. Moving my mom, 88, near me from out of state and she has all kinds of china and crystal to give me. Will probably keep a little of each set and get rid of the rest.
Never got “good” china or crystal for my wedding and never needed it- over 40 years ago. Have kept a few serving platters, salt and peppers, sugars and creamers, from each of many sets I was given. Less and less each day.
Threw out a lot of tablecloths with embroidery because they hadn’t been used in years, had mildew and smelled bad. My mom hoarded and never ran A/C in Florida. Kept one napkin from each set. Have glasses to give to my daughter in law. A nephew got a set of dishes. I want to give away 2 bookcases. My son moved out but left some things here. Really hate to shop for new things.
I have very few clothes but a lot of jewelry for accessories. My husband and I went shopping and he got a new tie and I got some earrings. We had a gift card and everything was at least 65 0/0 off. Now we have to give some more away. My husband keeps sport coats for about 10 years but we find ties and shirts every year or so. I need to give away 3 or 4 pairs of earrings.
Every week we give a big bag or two to Goodwill. This week, one bag is full of shoes. As long as things are going out the door. I did get a book for a gift. Again, it is instructions for one of my hobbies. I have a pile of books and magazines to take to the library.
I bought a pair of nice tan pants for this spring and summer as I only have one pair left. But I need to have them shortened and haven’t done it yet. I also have another bag of give away started. Old linens that maybe someone could use to make a quilt. I get my hobby supplies second hand so I always think other people do, too.