Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, I’m pleased to feature Karen, who describes herself as the “not-quite-there” minimalist. Visit her blog, and learn more about her gentle evolution towards simplicity.
Karen writes:
Karen
When I was 16 I remember looking around my bedroom and seeing all the typical teenage flotsam and jetsam on the floor and the crammed-full dresser and suddenly realizing I didn’t want to live like this. I wanted clear spaces and less of everything. So I hitched up my hip-hugger jeans and got to work getting rid of clothes, stuffed animals, knick knacks and books…keeping only what I really liked and wore. It was liberating.
And for years afterwards I lived simply. It was easy. I was young, single and had little disposable income. I made long-distance moves (from New York state to Chicago to San Francisco) and limited myself to a few suitcases and boxes for each move.
When I got married at age 25, my husband and I continued to live simply. We lived in a studio apartment, cooked meals from the “More with Less” cookbook and managed without a car. Then we moved to a one-bedroom apartment, later bought a two-bedroom condo and finally bought the small three-bedroom house we have lived in for over two decades.
Every move bought a little more space. Space to fill. Though we weren’t spendthrifts, what with the birth of our two daughters, the influx of inherited items and a bit of collecting on my part, the house got fuller. And while the house was usually tidy, the closets and cupboards were packed. Storage boxes started appearing under the beds. Too many times I wondered, “Now, where did I put that??”
I desperately wanted to regain the sense of order I had in my younger years and have fewer things to take care of.
That’s when I found a number of blogs and books on minimalism. Inspired, I knew I wanted to downsize my possessions, our possessions, but it was more difficult than it had been at age 16…I was now contending with a lot more stuff and three other people in the house who weren’t as keen on getting rid of their belongings! And here’s my confession: I love old things. Old sterling silver, old photos, old textiles, old jewelry. I collect them and they give me pleasure, but I realized that I had more than I could appreciate, more than I could use.
So I took a few baby steps:
- I got everyone in the family on board with getting rid of our unused belongings and now we regularly take stuff to a charity. I’ll put a bag or two in the family room and tell everyone I’m going to drop it off at Goodwill that weekend and to put their stuff in it before then. And they do!
- I got rid of most of the clothes I no longer wore. All the stuff that didn’t fit, was out of style, wasn’t flattering, etc. (There are a few sentimental pieces I can’t let go of yet.)
- I decided to part with some of my antiques and inherited items and opened up an Etsy store to sell them. As things have sold, it’s gotten easier to sell more. It’s loosened my grip.
- I suggested to my extended family members that the adults stop exchanging Christmas gifts. This choice that has made the holidays less stressful and means less stuff in the house.
- I’m trying to be very intentional about what I buy. No more impulse buying. I ask myself lots of questions before any purchase. I wait. I think about it.
- I’m trying to follow the “one-in, one-out” principle. I’m not always successful, but I try.
Postscript: Our house is getting closer to how we want it. Having less stuff does make life easier! Alas, I’ve discovered the “downside” to my store is that I enjoy it so much I’ve turned it into a little business and I now go to estate sales to buy more things for it! It’s a fun activity to do with girlfriends and I make a little money, but I’m hard pressed to find places to house my store inventory. (Still figuring out this knot.) I don’t want to undo the work we’ve done in the house!
So I think of myself as the “not-quite-there” minimalist. A minimalist with training wheels. I keep myself motivated by continuing to read blogs on minimalism and I want to extend my thanks to all of you who have shared your story.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
“So I think of myself as the “not-quite-there” minimalist. A minimalist with training wheels.”
Karen, don’t be too hard on yourself as you are “there” as far as minimalism is concerned. Minimalism is something we maintain and continue to do so all of our lives as we are inundated with ads and commercials wanting to separate us from our money. You are on the right track and a great role model for your daughters!
Loved your story, thanks for sharing! Also, I love how you described yourself at 16! I can so relate!!!!
“And while the house was usually tidy, the closets and cupboards were packed. Storage boxes started appearing under the beds.” Oh, how I can relate to this! That’s the problem with closets – they can just be too tempting to fill! Good luck with your ongoing minimalism – I think for most of us it is a constant journey and evaluation.
Karen, you raise a god point: having three other people in your home will naturally lead to more things. I’ve often wondered how people with kids are able to live with much less. Being single and in a one-bedroom apartment myself, it’s fairly easy to ensure my belongings are few. But it sounds like you have some good steps in place to maintain a minimalist approach!
Thanks all for your encouragement :) This weekend as I took down our Christmas tree and packed up the ornaments I realized that there were quite a few we no longer used…so they are the next things heading out of the house!
Karen,
Minimalism is about making room in your life for the things you enjoy. Since you enjoy buying and selling things from estate sales, giving room to your inventory is a positive thing. Designate a space for inventory and go right on having fun with it. That’s what life is all about.
Thanks for your comment Linda. It’s much appreciated. I’m thinking I might be able to wrinkle out some space in our garage for my store inventory :)
Hi Karen,
My sister does the same thing on Etsy. She loves it and is able to enjoy the hunt for all the old things and have them for a time, then send them off to new homes. What could be more perfect?!
Debi, it is a lot of fun! Wish I had discovered I like doing this sooner :)
I’m at the starting line of my minimalist lifestyle. I have accumulated a lot of debt trying to pursue the American dream. My house is always cluttered. I doesn’t help that we have 3 kids, plus my wife stays home and watches other peoples kids for extra money. I would describe my life as silent desperation. Too much stuff, too much clutter, too much dept, too much stress.
However, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I will make it! Thanks guys for all the inspiration!
Oh Felix…hope you are able to get out from under all the stress, clutter and debt soon. Sounds like a tough way to live. Blessings to you on your journey.
Nice to meet you! I’m a not quite there minimalist too with wardrobe being my most difficult area. I’ve already conquered a few areas in my life like the bathroom/makeup/personal care (it’s looking downright minimalist in there & I no longer buy more cosmetics/skin care than what I actually use & need) but the closet is oyyyy, embarrassingly excessive.
I also increased home size as the years went on and know exactly what you mean about filling up the space. Now I’m back in a studio like space (albeit attached to my childhood home and parents) and I’m happier. I’ll be even happier when shelves/closets start to look very spacious again with nothing hidden.
It’s wonderful you can start a business, kudos to you and I love etsy. I’ve been thinking along those same lines too but first I need to clear out my possessions first as I really don’t have anywhere to put things now as I’m selling many of my clothes. But one day maybe convert to thrifting or buying wholesale to take advantage of the customer base I’ve established.
Tania, I can understand about the clothes. I’m drawn like a moth to a flame over little vintage jackets. I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t need anymore! Hope you are able to start your business too. Etsy has been a good venue for me. All the best.
Your story is so enlightening. You do know that the “stuff” in the cupboards, closets and under the beds do multiply at night, right? Lol.
It certainly seems true in my house, momofthree!
Your children will grow up. Be sure they understand their clutter is theirs to take with them. Meanwhile, practice 1 in 1 out or 1 in 2 out if needed.
If my son, who is very much a minimalist, needed to move back in, it would be OK, my other kids have way too much stuff. I always have a big bag or box to give away ready to take down to the car. I have 1 bookcase almost empty and then it will be used to display pictures. Another one will be given away.
We keep seeing big homes full of lots of things everywhere. One friend has 2 houses full of stuff. We also know people with huge TV’s. I have some dishes to give away. And I sold a set of silver plate and just kept 2 serving spoons. We have 1 small TV in our small 6’x8 ‘ den. I am filling a bag for the library now.