Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, we have a wonderful story from K., whose experience living in Vietnam has inspired her minimalist journey. I love the description of her living arrangements–a reminder that most of us have an abundance of space and stuff.
K. writes:
K.
Throughout my life, I’ve always felt the desire to simplify. To me, a simple life meant the opportunity for clarity and focus. However, these thoughts and desires were buried underneath my ‘normal’ American upbringing, and only surfaced sporadically and mystically.
Growing up, I’d say I had an average amount of ‘stuff.’ I kept my belongings neat and orderly, but I wasn’t the best at giving things away, for fear needing it later, and/or for the desire to get the most out of something I already owned.
After grad school, I lived and worked in Vietnam for a couple of years. Having to pack all my necessities into 2 bags was the first real impetus for living out minimalism in my life. I felt liberated as I packed, realizing how little was actually needed of the stuff I had moved from apartment to apartment for the past several years. My minimalist soul was surfacing, but this time I was aware of it and wanted it to stay.
Living in Vietnam taught me many things about simple living, but the greatest lessons came during the month I lived with 5 Vietnamese friends in a ~200 square foot studio apartment. I was amazed by how seamlessly they kept a rhythm of life together with such limited resources and in such close quarters. It showed me how little is needed to sleep, eat, clean, and even entertain in a living space. Most of all, I was amazed at how they cooked delicious Vietnamese meals with just 1 pot and 1 pan in their makeshift kitchen that consisted of a small propane stove and a ground-level faucet and drain (not even a refrigerator -fresh food from the market daily).
This past year I moved back to the U.S. and was highly motivated to maintain a minimalist lifestyle in my home country. It was perfect timing because I was living alone for the first time in my life and was able to start from scratch to set up my apartment exactly how I wished. I love my new space – it’s beautiful, simple, and peaceful. I am continually assessing what I have in order to keep only value-adding (whether in utility or beauty) objects in my life and home.
However, as we all know, minimalism is not just about less stuff. I mentioned that my real drive for simplicity was a desire for clarity and focus. Along with my move abroad, my minimalist desires have also been particularly strong in these past few years as I’ve been on an intense spiritual journey or ‘quarter-life crisis’. My hope is that getting the junk out of my living space – as well as my digital life, my schedule, and my relationships – can help focus my mind and soul on my pursuit of Truth.
I’m so happy to have found a community of like-minded souls on this blog and I love hearing everyone’s stories. I know that wherever my path takes me, the principles discussed amongst this community will continue to help enrich my life!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
You look so happy. Your life is beautiful. Thank you for reminding me about focus and clarity. The main reasons why I am simplifying in my life as well.
I’d love to see some pics of your apartment in Vietnam! Thank you for your post, it is very encouraging. It reminds me of Tao.
What a wonderful journey you are on and to have clued in at such a young age. Also, what a coincidence (or not!) to read about your cooking experience in Vietnam on a day when I was going shopping for another pot. I have a medium-sized one and a double boiler but the double boiler is severely burnt beyond repair so I was off to buy another pot today but I think I’ll stick to the one I have and live with that. Geez, why do we North Americans always need (want) duplicates (and triplicates) or so many things when people in other countries make do with one. Thank you for posting your story; you just saved me some money!! P.S. I too would love to see your apartments in Vietnam and your current one.
@Diane: I know what you mean re: the pots! We have also been ‘programmed’ that unless something is shiny and new, it must be replaced!
Ahim, you are absolutely right. I discovered this programming when I started buying organic produce. Many of the fruit had a few spots or were misshapen and it took me awhile to realize that the reason those perfectly coloured, perfectly shaped fruit in regular stores are because they are sprayed with so many toxins, sprayed to ripen quickly and even sprayed with colour in some instances. Now I don’t mind my imperfect product!
Please please please K,
tell us what you mean by
“showed me how little is needed to sleep, eat, clean, and even entertain in a living space” so that it can inspire us to do the same.
And yes, pictures would be nice.
We have so little here to inspire us to use less.
What an inspiring story, K. Now that I’m 55, I’m able to look back at my life and it’s obvious how I could have done things different earlier to make my life more beautiful, calm and focused. I’m constantly amazed at how it is that some people, such as yourself, “get it” so young, for others (like me) it takes 1/2 their life and sadly for some they never live a life free from mental and physical clutter.
While everyone’s journey is different, and our unique definition of minimalism creates a different path, it is a state of mind and being that is well worth the effort to figure out how to fit it into our lives. I’m grateful to Francine for her project to publish other peoples’ stories because it shines a light on the fact that minimalism is so personal and lets us see how others engage with the idea.
Cheers,
Ree
How right you are Ree! When I think of the vacations I could have taken and all the countries I could have enjoyed had I not bought so many things in my life. I’m 56 and just found this website last year but I’ve sold lots and looking forward to travelling soon and travelling lots when I retire in 3 years.
Agree with @Ree Klein – I can’t believe how long it has taken me to realise that minimalism makes sense, and be disgusted at the amount of money I have utterly wasted over the years… let alone the energy expended in earning that money in the first place! Oh, and Ree: no way do you look 55! Wow!
Oh, Ahim, you make great points about the cost in life energy to earn the money needed to pay for the unnecessary things! Thank you for the compliment. That picture was taken about 18 months ago so a few more lines may have crept in since it was taken :) Regardless, I’ll take them given they come with some wisdom I can use!
You (and everyone else in the minimalist community) are amazing!
I live with one other person in less than 200 sq ft (travel trailer) and I am still sorting out my privacy issues. How did you do it with 5 other people?
Also, what kind of meals did you have from those 2 pots?
Happy trails…
Privacy-wise, it was manageable for the short-term but would not have been sustainable for me for the long-term. It was a challenge to not have any alone time, but this too helped to me to stretch and grow.
Most traditional Vietnamese meals will include white rice as the base, and then several dishes to eat with your rice such as veggies, tofu, chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, etc….yum!
Very helpful – thank you.
What an awesome experience you had living in Vietnam! A very nice reminder that we don’t have to have huge living spaces to fully live.
What a wonderful story! Living in a foreign country can do wonders for one’s outlook on life, simplicity, and what is truly “necessary”. Japan is different from Vietnam, but here I also see so many families living in small apartments, mothers cooking incredible meals in shoebox kitchens with no oven, and more people who don’t drive cars and cycle or take the train everywhere they need to go in Tokyo. Your observation about what is possible in a tiny kitchen setup in Vietnam is so true! The priority is only and always on making tasty, healthy food for oneself and others, never about the looks or status of the kitchen space. So when I see stories and pictures of what an American “dream kitchen” might look like, it does not make sense.
I think I’d enjoy Tokyo because they seem to have it right. You should hear the negativity when I tell co-workers that when I retire I’ll be moving across the country into a 400-500 sq.ft. condo and trading in my car for a bike. They look at me like I’m nuts. Of course, how do you explain this to people who live in 3,000-5,000 sq.ft. homes with triple garages!
Hi everyone, thanks for your comments! Here are some pictures, I hope they can give you a feel for the place.
dining area; 5-person ‘closet’, and ‘kitchen’ in background
http://postimg.org/image/920sbxkg7/
sleeping/lounging area
http://postimg.org/image/a7ztoq9dd/
entryway and study table
http://postimg.org/image/nfv44u9ap/
So if you piece it all together you’ve seen all 4 walls of the apartment. The only other part is the bathroom which is next to the kitchen area :)
K, I want to move in immediately! It all looks so cheerful and serene. Really SMALL wardrobe for all of you though – this would only work if you can do all the washing, drying and ironing the same day…
Thank you for sharing your story – I too am assessing each item in my home and though it takes me time, I feel confident when I make a decision to keep or donate that. Now I must expand this assessment to purchases.
Thank you for sharing your story, K, it’s an interesting read and the photos found in your comment bring the setting all the more vividly into mind. Clarity and focus definitely are real benefits gained from simplifying your life. I’ve often wondered how many people there are who can actually stay focused even in the midst of ‘chaos'(of various sorts), but for the most part people seem to need minimalist tendencies for that. Best of luck on your pursuit of Truth!
Wow, I love this blog and everyone’s posts and comments! And Ree Klein, I am like you. 52 and just starting on this journey. I always wanted to have a nicely (minimally) decorated house that was easy for a working woman to keep clean yet my ex spouse would never cooperated. He was an extreme hoarder. I think I’m just now seeing all the reasons living the way I wanted deep inside evaded me. At some point I just gave up, got depressed and even started “shopping” for things I didn’t really need as a way to deal with the depression (just didn’t realize it at the time). When we divorced I went from a large house to a smallish townhome with waaaaay to much stuff to fit. Frustrated was not the word. After MUCH soul searching and blog searching LOL, I now realize there is NO reason I can’t live the life I always wanted – it’s MY home and no one else s! I am purging like crazy and my shopping has stopped. I am excited to start this journey, just wish I had been able to do it sooner! One of the hardest things for me has been when getting rid of stuff I spent good money for, I feel guilt and shame. But I am learning to forgive myself by realizing I’m in a better mind now and vowing to not let it happen again. Thanks to all for your inspiring stories and tips!
Hi Jenny ~ I’m so glad you shared your story. I’m finding it interesting that when I put my age in a comment, a flood of women come out of the woodwork to say that they also are in their middle years and what that means for them. I love it! We are in such an amazing part of our life and now is the time to make changes and seize the life of our dreams, whatever that is.
There’s no time for shame and guilt. Just move that “stuff” on to someone who can and will use it. There is definitely “value” in that so you can let go of feeling bad.
I’m so excited for you on your new life…you deserve joy and happiness!
Ree
I agree with Ree — don’t feel guilt and shame and try not looking at it that you’re getting rid of stuff you spent a lot of money. When I “get rid” of costly stuff, I look upon it as a donation and what a generaous donation I have made. Think of all the people who can’t afford the expensive things you bought and now they are able to treasure them as you once did!
I absolutely LOVE this story, and I just LOVE the sense of sheer happiness that shines from K’s face in her photo! :) Wonderful!
K. Thank you for your wonderful post, loved reading about your minimalist journey and seeing too the great pictures of your studio apartment in Vietnam, it’s just that it has left me wanting to know more . . . more about your life in Vietnam, simple cooking Vietnamese style, your search for clarity and focus, your on-going journey into maintaining a minimalist lifestyle and creating your simple and peaceful apartment. Hey, you could even start a blog . . . Hehe!!
I agree, I am on the same journey, trying to find peace, focus and clarity using minimalism as a tool. I am about a decade older
Overseas moves=best way to re-evaluate your possessions. Thanks for sharing!
This was such a great read! It’s so awesome to hear about how someone can live with so little and not for the sake of having less, but because that’s all there is to utilize and everyone has a great attitude about it. Most people living with 2 or 3 others in such closed quarters will usually test patience and it can get ugly. This just comes to show that even with less, there is much happiness and joy to be found. Thank you for this story.
Thank-you for sharing your story. I have also been going through a ‘quarter-life crisis’ during the past 6 months (I’m 25) and have discovered minimalism, which I’m loving. It is making me re-think my life and my goals, and I now know I want a simple, peaceful life instead of a life filled with stuff and a highly stressful job to pay for that stuff. Seeing your living space in Vietnam makes me crave an overseas adventure, and to donate more possessions!
In response to Ree, I too am of the middle years discovering minimalism and how it can help me from here on. Sometimes I even selfishly think as I am getting rid of stuff, “this is someone else’s problem/clutter now.” Maybe it will help them…maybe not. It helps me let go so I can focus on what’s really important, what’s in front of me now, and what I need to do. All that stuff I let go of isn’t “cluttering” my thoughts any longer either.
@Romana: I totally get your comment “Sometimes I even selfishly think as I am getting rid of stuff,“this is someone else’s problem/clutter now.” However, don’t feel guilty or selfish about it – someone else may genuinely want or need it and, anyhow, the item(s) was/were in existence when you acquired it/them – you are simply passing it onto a new owner! :-) Far better to pass on for someone else to love than to go to landfill!
You are right Muli. I guess I feel selfish when I become frustrated with the process of letting go, if it becomes difficult for me but I know I have to do it. I really do hope that everything I give to Goodwill will help someone else and not end up in landfill. There have been some instances where I’ve given something that I was decluttering from my home to a person I knew could use it or would love it. The look on their face was priceless. It felt so good to pass something on instead just hoarding it.
When I was in college in the late 60’s, I would mention to a roommate or friend that I wanted to live with fewer possessions. They thought I was crazy.. Now there is a community of people living with less. A friend has a 2 car garage filled with clothes and Knicks-knacks which she won’t give away because she spent so much for them. If it were not for the various minimalist blogs, I would feel so alone.
We went to the movies yesterday. The kids give us movie passes for gifts. I am still finding things to recycle and give away. I saved some china platters to fill my hutch. I like the hutch but would like to get rid of 2 bookcases full of books. If I were going to downsize, there are 2 big chairs I would part with and a cabinet with more china for the kids. I sold a lot of silver plate bowling trophies over the years and hope to sell more.
I have more silver plate to get rid of. It was my mother-in-law’s. I have held on to it for 25 years with no takers, I may just sell it. My sister has my Mom’s diamonds because I don’t need or want them.
We are going on a 10 day cruise tomorrow. TH and I each take one carry on bag and one small tote. One thing we enjoy is watching the huge suitcases other people take.