Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, Maryn tells us how she traded the dream of a glamorous life for a simple one. Please visit her blog to learn more about her journey.
Maryn writes:
Growing up in Los Angeles, I thought I needed a glamorous occupation to be happy. I had this vision of me in a chic black suit making moves in designer shoes. People told me I could do anything. Queue the music. People told me I could change the world. Queue the lights. After graduating from a good college, I sashayed my way into the real world. There was no music. There were no lights. Really, nobody cared. I found a job and starting earning a paycheck. Nearly a decade later, I’m still earning that paycheck and staring down a long road of doing something I don’t like so I can buy things I don’t need. I began to wonder, “Is this all there is?”
Last October my boyfriend and I decided to leave the city. We were tired of expensive living and the rat race. As we prepared for our move, I was floored by how much stuff we had. Those hard-earned paychecks were staring me in the face. There were endless boxes of new appliances, tchotchkes, and too many shoes. At that moment, I knew I had to break the cycle of consumer excess and paycheck-dependency. After years of chasing an empty dream, I needed to rewrite the script.
This move was our second chance. We carried our bags into our new space and instead of going into nesting mode I thought, “Let’s embrace the emptiness for a while. Let’s decide what we really need and figure out how we want to live here.” We went for weeks without anything but sleeping bags and a beach mat to eat our meals on. It felt a little strange at first, but I got used to it and even started to enjoy it. We embraced the idea of “floor living” with a futon bed, beanbag floor lounger and a couple of floor pillows. My boyfriend even made a low, Japanese style dining table for us. It was liberating. It made me feel grounded.
Since we moved, my fancy dresses and high heels have been gathering dust in the closet. My life now couldn’t be further from the dreams I once had. We walk to the grocery store and cook meals at home. We buy fresh foods and get only what we need for the week. We go for walks on the weekends. Somewhere along this journey I gave up my ambition for a fabulous life and traded it for a simple one. If you told me 8 years ago I would be buying groceries from a co-op and riding a bike to happy hour I would have said, “You’re crazy.” But here I am writing cross-legged on the floor and I’ve never been happier.
As a “minimalist in progress,” I would love to connect with those on a similar path. Visit me at www.thewellspringblog.com where I record the ups and downs of this new journey.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Yep. What we think we need, what the others think we need, and what we really need – usually that’s three quite different things.
Absolutely! It’s all about defining that need for ourselves. The more is more philosophy is so last season ;)
Stories like yours help to keep me inspired. I have been working at it slowly and it is frustrating, but I WILL get there. Less is more. Thanks for sharing!
It’s daunting to think about a 180 degree life change, so I just take it one step at a time. Everyone’s baseline is different and I probably don’t look like a minimalist to some people, but my life is more balanced and I have peace of mind. Best of luck and let me know how it goes!
P.S. I posted a few tips on my blog that you might find helpful: http://thewellspringblog.com/2014/04/22/spring-cleaning/
Good for you for making a change! I love the idea of starting from nothing instead of automatically unpacking everything.
We just moved to a big city that is more bike-friendly than where we used to live. I love being able to just pop the toddlers in the trailer and head out–no sweltering carseats.
Peddlers unite! Once I got past the discomfort of having less, it really opened my life up. Carving out that new space created room for more joyful things to enter my life. I feel more creative and free – almost like a playroom for adults :)
Hope you enjoy life in your new city!
What a great story! Using your move as a stepping stone into simplifying your lifestyle, very smart.
Thanks Kayse! The move was definitely a wakeup call that forced me to make a change I might not have made otherwise.
I love the idea of getting to know a space and know your true needs before unpacking and nesting. Bravo, Maryn!
Yes, it took a lot of willpower to not go into nesting mode and buy a bunch of unnecessary throw pillows ;)
Maryn, way to go! Having the courage to completely change your lifestyle is amazing. I’ve always been in the camp that says having the “glamourous life” is a load of crap. There are so many more meaningful ways to connect with the world. They are simple, cheaper, and way more engaging!
Amen John! It helps immensely to have a supportive community that aligns with my new values. Early on I felt like such a weirdo living in Hollywood…it can be exhausting going against the grain.
What a lovely story. We did this with two houses – I liked them best bare!
Good for you! I’m sure that’s not easy…I still have to routinely cleanse areas of my life (especially my closet).
LA will do that to you. I am a Northern CA transplant by way of Southern CA
and I think it is *slightly* less materialistic up here, but not by much.
I’m sure most states can relate. I think LA is overrated- no one living there is
*actually* from LA and I think that just perpetuates the LA image.
Glad you broke free:)
I totally agree. Getting out of the LA/Hollywood bubble really opened my eyes to a different way of living. I no longer had to try so hard to “keep up.” The extra money in my pocket is a nice perk too :D
I can totally relate to your journey! Once I realised I was happier (and freer) with less, I knew there was no going back – and I can’t imagine living any other way. Sounds like your life is far more enjoyable now, and much healthier…good for you! : )
It is! Shedding all that stuff makes me feel so light and free now. It’s actually hard for me sometimes to stay at other people’s homes because I feel the weight of stuff closing in on me.
One thing about downsizing is you make it easier on whoever has to clean up your mess when you die or take seriously ill.
Good point! Even though I’m young, you never know, and I’ve actually thought about this. I want my legacy to be an inspiration, not a burden.
“I want my legacy to be an inspiration, not a burden.” Wonderful sentiment! Spoken like a true minimalist!
Haha, thanks Brian! I’m trying… ;)
Wow, thanks for sharing! :-) It is crazy that we equate stuff with success, isn’t it? Life is MUCH more exciting when you deviate from the script.
Totally cray cray. I guess it isn’t surprising considering advertising infiltrates most aspects of our lives these days. If I ever have kids, I’m going to be one of those parents that does my best to shield them from that kind of messaging.
Thanks for sharing this, I can definitely relate! I moved to a big city after I finished school because I felt I had to “be somebody” and you couldn’t do that in a small town. You also couldn’t “be somebody” with an ordinary job, I had to have an exciting career where people would know my name and be jealous of my glamorous life. Funny thing was, though, that I hated the career and hated the city and ended up totally stressed and unhappy. That’s when I found minimalism. It greatly reduced my stress and now I’m out of the big city and pursuing a totally different, unglamorous career…and loving it! Simple is best :)
I really identify with your story Jen! I had some jobs that looked glamorous from the outside but were really unglamorous from the inside. It’s all about finding what makes you feel good on the inside, that’s what matters in the end.
ahhhh…i feel liberated and grounded just reading this. I will follow you Maryn! Thank you for sharing.
Happy to hear that Magalie! You have a beautiful blog as well :)
Beautifully written…I can’t wait to read more at your blog. I ended up selling my heels on Poshmark and my business attire to Twice after I moved to Maui (skinny platform wedges are useless here unless you want to sprain an ankle). I’m still working on getting rid of the bags.
Good for you Tania! The closet is my biggest nemesis and I’m working on routinely getting rid of things and also started buying second-hand when I can. It feels good to not be too attached to my things. Good luck with the bags, that’s going to be tough! Thanks for your sweet comment :)
I love reading these letters. Cleaning out all my cupboards is my short term goal. Then continuing to find just what I need to keep comes next.
Getting rid of at least a bag a week. My goal is less furniture and more empty space.
I just got rid of two big bags of “stuff”. I have started filling another bag. I look for things that are out of place or have no proper place in my home. Sometimes I just have too much of some things. Like flower pots. I used to put 6 or 7 big pots of flowers on my balcony. Now, I only put 3 or 4 plants out there. So I’ve been giving away flower pots.
Still giving away big bags of clothes every week. My kids bring over things for me to look at and I take one or two things out of a bag, and give the rest away. My husband and I don’t go out when it is really cold any more so we will give away our down coats in a few months. As we get older we need fewer dressy clothes and things seem to last longer. I see pictures of the people crowding the stores today for Black Friday and I can’t remember ever doing that.
I saw an article in the Chicago Tribune that builders are building McMansions again. I thought people had stopped living beyond their means but I guess not. My younger son and his wife have 2 cars and they only need one so they are getting rid of one. I always encourage young people to live below their means. We have the $500 refrigerator but most people we know have the $2000 one. Our car is paid for. We have the 32 inch TV because we watch maybe 7 hours of TV a week. Friends have the 65 inch TV. I am troubled by this but I have never had a lot of material things.