Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, we have a wonderful contribution from Nyamka, who tells us how minimalism changed the course of her career and her life. Stop by her blog to learn more about her journey.
Nyamka writes:
Recently, it dawned on me that my life would be just like everyone in my life, busy. Growing up my parents were busy. My father was quite busy as a doctor, often working over time staying at the hospital overnight. My mother was also busy working full time, leaving early in the morning before I woke up, and when she came home she had housework to do. I wish I got to spend more time with them.
I wanted a different life than my parents, of course. A life where people had time to spend with each other, but I didn’t know there was any other way, and so I was on the same path as everyone around me, busy, working hard to secure a safe future. From observation, this was often at the expense of their health and relationships.
My decisions in life were made with the purpose to be safe and comfortable. I was to become a lawyer for the same purpose, plus I could be good at it. I studied full time to finish my bachelor’s degree majoring in economics and finance, and after graduating I was to apply to law school. I knew graduate law was going to time consuming. I knew that life as a lawyer involved lots of long hours for years. I didn’t know a single young lawyer who had work life balance. Still, I continued with my plan. I thank the magic of Internet for allowing me to stumble upon minimalism.
From the start I was enamoured with minimalism. A different lifestyle was possible. It was so different to what I had experienced in life. Have what you love, and love what you have. Then apply this principle to every aspect of your life. People had only what they needed and this allowed them to be less busy and spend more time doing what they loved.
Initially, I thought it was unachievable for me, but after reading every blog post written on Zen habits, Miss Minimalist, and few other blogs on minimalism I gleaned the courage to become a minimalist myself. It was the human stories that made the principle of minimalism come alive to me. The stories and examples showed me that everyone had to start from somewhere.
Knowing there was a different option, I started de-cluttering. I de-cluttered till the two shelves in my room had nothing on it. Soon my table had nothing on it. I got rid of bags and bags of stuff. I started a blog to chronicle my journey. That got me thinking on paper, which made me question my life more objectively. Eventually it lead me to move out from home. I wanted the freedom to edit my life.
When I graduated, I didn’t apply for law school as planned. Some people were surprised. I was surprised too. For a few months I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. I had the freedom to choose my own direction but I had nothing, I hadn’t thought about what I wanted to do in my life before. I had a very vague idea. I wanted a life where I was healthy, happy, and had time for my loved ones. It was difficult to figure out how to get there, but I got there in the end.
Getting rid of the material clutter helped to get rid of the mental clutter. With time and space to really think about my life, within a few months I figured out what I wanted to do. I figured out what made me happy all along, I just never paid attention to it. I can say now with full certainty that I like helping people, cooking, and writing.
Through minimalism I understood I had personal responsibility to shape the life I wanted to live. I have finished de-cluttering, but I will always be simplifying my life.
Thanks to minimalism, I have managed to combine my passion for cooking and helping people. I am going to be a Health Coach soon. I wish I came across minimalism sooner. If you have been waiting for a sign to start, this is it! Go for it!
If you relate to this story follow me on my journey to be well, do good, and change the world one simple step at a time at www.agirlcallednyamka.com.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Good for you for realizing that there is another way! I used to work in a law school’s career development office, staffed by trained lawyers (many of them women in their 30s) who had become distressed by their Biglaw hours and had taken massive pay cuts to become 9-5 career counselors instead. I remember one woman telling me that she didn’t have time, for instance, to choose a new TV–she just want into the store and told them to give her the best one. She had plenty of money, but no time even for herself (she was single; some of the other counselors were starting families). She also had lost twenty pounds since she changed jobs!
Thanks Frugal Paragon! It’s amazing how much time and energy we dedicate to things that add no value to our life. We don’t notice it until we get out of it. I am glad I found minimalism, changed my life!
Hi!
Thank you for your great post. It’s so soothing to read about someone who’s had a similar story to mine. I also started out in law school before changing tracks. Minimalism has left me with my own thoughts and cluelessness that I was distracting myself from by being busy. It’s been less than a year but already so much has changed. I now realize that profound relationship and being of help to others is what makes my life complete.
All the best,
Ono
Thank you Ono!
I learnt that being busy meant I didn’t have to be alone with my own thoughts. I wasn’t ready to confront them, but only through confronting it I found out what I wanted to with my life. It was scary but it was worth it!
Thank you for commenting! I am glad to hear from someone with a similar story like mine- sometimes it feels like I am the only one making big changes in my life.
I think it’s great that you came to this realization early. Finding out that money and possessions aren’t that important will serve you well.
Thanks Tina! I feel the same, wouldn’t it be great if they taught minimalism at school? I think everyone would benefit from that :)
Congrats for surviving the post-decluttering, directionless, floundering phase! It can be hard to wake up and realize you can forge your own path in life, and even harder to pick a direction when all you know is what you DON’T want. Good for you!
Thanks Country Mouse. Those few months post decluttering were one of the strangest periods in my life. I went for lots of nature walks just to think things out. I try to the same thing every now and then to check with myself if my life is still going in a place that I am happy with.
Awesome realizations Nymaka! My personal favorite is this, “allowed them to be less busy and spend more time doing what they loved.” So true! instead of chasing a never ending circle of stuff with our money and time, we can focus on what really adds value to our lives.
Thanks John! I find that now that I am spending less, and needing less money I can afford to do more of what I love. I am so much happier doing community work and having the freedom to study what I want!
I love your blog! Following it now in my feedly.
Also, the meetups, what a good idea. Maybe I might start one in my city.
How does that go? What do you all talk about?
Thanks for submitting your story. Good luck and I look forward to your posts.
I attended Nyamka’s last meetup having found it pretty much by chance when browsing the internet. [and that connection has now led me here…] The conversation was very open and free-flowing although Nyamka may have been exerting a more subtle influence than I could pick up :). Most of the attendees had met before and the positive energy throughout the group was eye-opening. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who left at the end of the meeting inspired to do more (or actually should that be less ?!).
Thank you, Owen!
Thanks Magalie and Owen!
I highly recommend starting your own meetup Magalie! I couldn’t find one in my city so I started a new one. Although, I like blogging but I missed meeting people in real life, and the meetups help with that.
For the structure, we pick a topic at the previous meeting. I start with a 5-10 min blurb about my experiences with that particular topic, and then it’s group discussion for a few hours.
Good luck with your meetup and see you on my blog!
I wish I’d figured it out as young as you did so I wouldn’t have accumulated quite as much to get rid of! However, we are making good progress and planning to move to a smaller home next year. Maybe even a small RV once the kids are gone.
It’s never too late Christy! It’s great that you are planning to move into a smaller home! That’s quite an achievement. Congratulations!
You figured it out sooner than I did. I went to law school at the insistence of family, then just couldn’t go any further with it another moment and be happy. So, I went back to music & performing piano, got an M.A., and haven’t looked back with even a second of sadness. Best wishes to you in your new life, & I’m sure you will be as happy as I.
Hi Glenda,
You did great for yourself! I think it’s really brave to make such a profound change.
It was all in good timing Glenda! Right about when I was supposed to be applying for law school I was recovering from depression. Healing from depression and minimalism made me want a life that was worthwhile and meaningful, and going to law school didn’t fit the picture for me. So, I quit and like you I haven’t looked back :) Congratulations in your musical career Glenda!
Absolutely lovely story! Freedom to edit your life? That’s a thought I’d love to quote, I think that’s motivating most of us. I feel a bit sad that I never had a blog to map my minimalist progress. I have a blog and I occasionaly mentioned something within an article about something else… but I never paid a lot of attention. Maybe I should have a tumblr on the side for just this purpose.
Thank you Em! I am glad to hear that quite hit home with you. I was so busy I didn’t know how much I didn’t enjoy my life. After I simplified I could finally see where I was going. I didn’t want that and with my newly found freedom I could make better decisions.
I recommend getting a blog Em, you can chronicle your journey retrospectively. It made me think deeper about what I went through and what I was going through as I simplified my life. I got to learn more about myself by writing and connect with like minded people! Win-win!
Funny, how minimalism and simple living halped to guide my husband to become an attorney.
While some lawyers enjoy their jobs and the great paychecks, others may not. I became a secretary (parents wouldn’t pay for my university)and eventually go into administrative assistant positions. I worked hard, long hours even return to school to do a BA to make me more competitive, but, unfortunately, I’m retiring with an admin assist pension which is barely liveable. Sure I had more family time than had I been a lawyer, but at least as a lawyer, you can retire with a great pension and spend your retirement years travelling and doing whatever you please and can afford it. I,on the otherhand, will spend mine counting pennies as I did during my career. Minimalism may be fine in the home, but don’t believe for a minute that you’ll be happy with a minimalist pension still counting pennies!!
I had a similar experience to you. My family is a big believer in the “9-5 ’til your 65” grind of cubicles and commutes. I got an engineering degree, but the corporate lifestyle didn’t make me happy, even with a large paycheck. I was tired of working long hours without fresh air and sunshine. That is why simple living gave me freedom from a big paycheck and the opportunity to live a life with passion and purpose. Good luck on your book!
Sounds like we have the same family Green Girl! One of other acceptable option for me was to become an engineer. I t din’t matter if I had any interest in it, because it was a “good” job to have. Congratulations for living a life of passion and purpose, that’s the dream life!
Thank you, the book is in edit right now. It’ll be out a bit later than I planned. It seems I have underestimated how long editing would take XD
I really like your blog! So profound writing!
Thanks Jeanne! I am happy to be of service!
“Have what you love and love what you have. Then apply this principle to every aspect of your life.” –This is profound, you really expressed the essence of minimalism right there with those two sentences. I have read your post multiple times and every time, that section of writing leaps out at me. It is crystal clear what minimalism is when you say it in that way. Excellent. Thanks for the uplift!
Working towards minimalism has had a wonderful effect on my life. We were able to work at low stress jobs, retire early and pay all our bills as they came due. There isn’t much we need or want and we take a lavish vacation, lately a European cruise, every 2 years. A friend bought a large diamond ring and I seriously had no interest because I have no place to wear anything like that. Another friend has a few $6000 purses but I’d never use them. It’s a different life style.
Every week I have filled a bag for Goodwill and given it away. Every week I have given a bag to the library full of books and magazines. There is still more to get rid of and I was never a hoarder. I realized I had enough hobby materials for 10 years. Magazines and books with craft patterns I would never use. I can’t remember what I gave away so it can’t have been very important.
We were given some gift cards as gifts. I looked at the jewelry and could not imagine where I would wear it. I bought a sweat shirt because I needed one. I will look at purses next time we go shopping. I only have one purse at a time. I was thinking about my friends who spend a fortune on purses and hair and nails. It really doesn’t matter in the long run.
My hair is gray. I have noticed more and more women not dying their hair. I wonder when this idea of using all these different products on one’s hair started. When I was in college, girls washed their hair every few days because they didn’t have blow dryers. I wash my hair maybe every 5 days.
I have so much in my home and I continuously declutter. I have a bag for my DIL, a bag for Goodwill, a bag for the veterinarian, etc. I keep a china cabinet because it belonged to my MIL. I have a few of her other pieces of furniture. I am filling a box with china to give away. I have more books for the library and more magazines, too.