Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, Judy shares the details of how she pared down her possessions—and in the process, passed down her minimalist values to the next generation.
Judy writes:
I don’t remember what first brought me to this site, but I do remember what steered me towards being a minimalist. I watched the first 2 seasons of hoarders. And after watching all the horrific episodes, I was done being a consumer. I buy food, personal hygiene items, and replacement items as needed, but I rarely buy a non-essential item anymore, and if I do, I buy it with the intention of passing it forward.
My quest started a few years ago: I needed to move quickly, but I couldn’t take all my stuff with me. I left most of my furniture and (collected/sentimental) belongings with a friend for 6 months. Once I was able, I moved everything, but once I had everything, I really began to question why I cared about all that stuff anyway. I lived without it for 6 months, why did I think I needed it…? Because it was mine! But I decided that wasn’t a good enough reason.
So I began paring down my belongings. Board games were the first to go; I sold them on craigslist or Amazon. Then books, which I sold at half-price books and gave away to co-workers. Then movies, given away to family and co-workers. Then clothes, all the clothes that I hadn’t worn in a while (or ever) and others that I didn’t like how they looked on me, all given to Goodwill. Then other random crap that I had accumulated that I had zero reasons to hold onto, either thrown out or to Goodwill. The guys at Goodwill started to recognize me after a while, asked me why I was giving away all my stuff. The most poignant item for me was a school yearbook. It was from the 7th grade. I’m pretty sure I had only looked at it 2-3 times over the years, and when I tried to open it, it had gotten wet and all the pages were stuck together. Recycled … along with my junior yearbook. It was at this point when my daughter really started to pay attention.
My daughters knew that I was getting rid of most of my stuff, but it wasn’t until something they considered sentimental was thrown out that they decided to speak up. My older daughter was upset because now she wouldn’t have MY 7th grade yearbook to show to HER children. (She doesn’t have any children, they are hypothetical.) I just shrugged, told her it wasn’t and hadn’t been useful to me for many years. She fumed.
Fast forward about a year. She’s experienced living on her own and is completely independent at 19. She has a very good job for her age and uses public transportation because she doesn’t have a car. After a year of “working for a living” and having no savings to show for it, she’s decided that the “American dream” is not her goal. Please read her story in her own words at gofundme.com/dkzs18 update #1.
I am so proud of my daughter for being more of a grown up than I’ve ever been. I feel that she gets it; she knows what life is all about. She knows what she wants, and it’s not what her peers or the media tells her she should do, it’s what will make her and her future family happy.
Not only have I been able to pass most of my accumulated belongings forward, but my actions have passed on minimalism to the next generation.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
I enjoy these stories; especially when adults see the wisdom in not dumping all their unsorted “sentimental” stuff on their children one day.
There’s nothing wrong with passing on a few heirlooms, certainly – maybe something specific a child (grown) has asked for (as you make out your will, or such). Or you can winnow your treasures down, choosing your favorites to bestow – saving them the brunt of sorting through your trash for treasure. And keeping in mind it may end up at a charity shop anyway if they don’t find it as meaningful as you do.
But by all means, bravo for taking action now! No one needs to be drowned in the un-made stuff-decisions of their parents/relatives at the same point they are faced with loss, grief, and the details of funeral planning and estate-settling.
Judy, you and your daughter are both inspiring. Thank you for sharing your minimalist story here. All the best with your minimalist journey. Claire
Hey Judy,
I am just down the I-35 Corridor from you in Texas, literally 20 minutes away. I think it is so inspiring what you have done with yourself and your daughter. I look forward to an update.
Could have been a great story, but the daughter realizing that the American Dream is not for her (that’s fine) and expecting others to help fund her dream (not fine) is wildly inappropriate.
I loved her story but was completely turned off by the pandering.
I enjoyed your story, but didn’t feel like it was appropriate to use this as a venue to get money.
Exactly. I checked out the URL expecting to read about minimalism but it was about asking for money. Inappropriate.
I thought the same thing, surely not a coincidence that the daughters funding site was updated just 3 days ago, just in time for this post? I like her idea of small house living though. Also thought it was a bit unreasonable to blame having too many dishes for all the dirty dishes piling up, no, that’s just lazy!
I have to agree with some of the comments regarding the inappropriateness of the GoFundMe site link within this post. I find the Minimalist Monday postings to be very inspiring especially as I try to pare down my belongings and limit my consumer tendencies. I was looking forward to a link to a blog about about a mother/daughter minimalist living journey and instead found a site asking for money to build a small house. I’m all for spreading the word of the small house movement but if that is your real goal then blog about it. Share how you’re saving YOUR money to achieve your goal. Talk about the road blocks you encounter. Share your journey. Don’t just ask for other people’s money. That might not have been the intention but that’s how it came across.
The link for money spoiled the message for me.
Agree…inappropriate. A disappointing end to an otherwise enjoyable message.
From what I remember Francine saying, she usually gets these stories long before they’re published.
Okay. Even though I agree with most of these comments… Let’s go ahead and take our claws off, eh?
Well done Judy! I smiled at your reference to yearbooks. Decades ago my mom mailed me my 3 high school yearbooks I’d left at home. I didn’t ask for them and honestly I didn’t want them. (My high school years were not the best.) The day after I got them I tossed them in the recycling bin. I have never regretted that decision :) I do keep some sentimental things but am darn selective.
And what were your yearbooks still doing at your mum’s place, hmmmm????? ;-)
Inspiring. It is wonderful to see the kids pick up on simplicity and the gift it can be!! Good for your girl!!
One out of my four kids is a pack rat! We try not to battle too much, after all he has his own personality. We talk often about the burden of stuff and how hard it can get if the “saving” gets out of hand. It’s a work in progress, but at least I know I am at least teaching them *how* to live simply…whether they choose to follow up is up to them :). I did my job…haha!
I looked at her daughter’s website and saw you need a Facebook account in order to leave a comment. Since I don’t subscribe to Facebook, here’s my comment. I lived in apartments all my life and didn’t buy a condo until I was 50. I didn’t ask anyone for money; I worked and saved. Once I bought it, I worked and saved even harder in order to pay it off in 7 years. So work two jobs, or get a roomate, or do whatever it takes on your own as you’ll appreciate it much more when you buy your tiny house with your own cash!
The philosopher Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king. Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’
Said [author:Diogenes|3213618, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king”.”
I don’t see the sense in this post leading to a gofundme page–I’m sorry if you’re minimalist I kind of believe you need to find your own way you don’t ask strangers to give a few dollars or share your post–make your own way and it will come to you. I think it’s very much the entitled view of this generation to believe that they can ask for money for things they need to do themselves. Want a small house? Well save your money, get a loan, live in a camper for a year to save rent, think outside the entitled BS box you’ve built for yourself.
My son saved his money while he was in the Navy. He figured they provided his clothes, room and board so he could save a lot for 5 years. He learned this from me. I worked in an office for 20 years plus and always brought my lunch to save an extra 100 dollars a month or so.
I am a great believer in saving money to get what you want. We lived on half our income for years so we could save money and help our kids- who got loans and scholarships – to pay for college. Now that we are retired we live on a little less easily as we have fewer expenses. I tell my kids they will be the only ones of their generation who will be able to retire.
We continue to be amazed by the spending habits of our friends who have their hair and nails done every week and go out to lunch every day. My husband’s buddies live in big houses on 3-5 acres and do yard work which my spouse hates. I am not sure anyone needs tchotchkes at all but if I were going to buy them I would get them at garage sales or thrift shops or rummage sales. There are tons available at those places. I gave away all the bud vases people had given me over the years because my cats just knocked them over anyhow.
A woman was talking about buying art supplies cheaply. I get mine at Salvation Army or Goodwill. My son said he just got a sport coat at Sal Army. I like to shop where the things I need are less than $1.
I have cut up old, stained clothes to make ribbon and yarn. Old hand and dish towels and underwear are rags. I try to reuse everything and buy nothing new. There is supposed to be a tax on sweetened beverages coming which won’t affect us because we drink water or iced tea made from tea bags. As I write this I am wearing second hand clothing. I use envelopes whenever possible instead of plastic sandwich bags. We recycle and reuse and compost. But I know we can do better.
We went to a party last night and I got compliments on my top. It was from my favorite thrift shop. Last time I was there, I bought a purse which was a little bigger than I like,so I gave it to my DIL. Someone just gave me a very expensive wool sweater so I filled another bag for Goodwill. I am trying to curate my possessions so I have just what I want.