Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, I’m pleased to feature Kate, who shares how a simple decluttering session led her family to a more mindful, minimalist lifestyle.
Kate writes:
We started out having a pre-Christmas clear out. Our little one was 18months old, and we were anticipating an influx of gifts. Well meaning, given with love, wonderful gifts. But lots of them.
We knew we didn’t want more children, so sorting through things outgrown was a habit acquired early. Partly I wanted to pay forward the generosity of all the hand-me downs we had received. Also there was a consciousness of space, in our two bed flat.
Probably the first thing I thought about was what to do with the wonderful scribbles, drawings, and paintings. I didn’t want to end up with cupboards full of ‘her first painting’ etc. So I set up this: www.toddlerartgallery.co.uk. Things she made go on display, get photographed. And then recycled. One or two have made it into the keepsake cupboard- more on that later.
About the same time I became interested in Montessori principles of education. One revelation was that a toybox meant a child couldn’t see and get to what they had. I looked at my daughter on tiptoes trying to open the lid and realised there was no way she could see or know what she had. So an idea formed; if I could fit what she had on a shelf or two that she could reach, she could see and choose her toys.
It worked, and she didn’t miss what had gone. She played more imaginatively, I cleared up faster. I moved her clothes to where she could reach and chose them, and pared them down as I did it. I learnt how to involve her in the process, and she has surprised me by understanding and taking part in it willingly.
As we watched the pleasure her de-cluttered room brought her, we re-did the pre-Christmas clear out. How could we bring this joy of knowing what you have and using it to its full potential to our lives too?
It’s been nearly a year now. We must have given away 10 car loads. And then we sold the car.
The keepsake cupboard is no longer a space things go and never return from. Things have come out, on display where they can be enjoyed. Many, many things have been recycled, as I realised I couldn’t remember why I kept them. As with all things in our home it has become a flexible space. Something can be loved, treasured and saved. And then re-evaluated. We put the TV in the cupboard this week; re-evaluation pending.
The things we like are multi-functional, easy to use, maintain and clean. The distinction between ‘adults’; ‘kids’; ‘toys’ and ‘tools’ is blurred, messy and fun. A 2.5 year old can play with a scrabble set; an hour spend preparing a meal together is brilliant family play.
We are starting to think about stuff in the wider context- how to be less busy; have space for ourselves, alone and together. How to use wisely the increased time and money we have. We rush about less, we do one thing a day, when we can. Have one play date, see one friend.
I realise I’m switching between ‘we’ and ‘I’. My husband has been very much with me, and has supported, encouraged and surprised me. Some things it has felt like ‘we’ have done, some ‘I’. It’s confusing to read, but feels more honest, to write it like that.
I have read a lot, learnt a lot, and thought a lot about many of the issues this rich, Western, consumerist life presents us with. What do we really need? What is life about? What matters? I don’t have the answers but I’m enjoying the challenging questions.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Thanks for sharing your story Kate. I’ll be doing a post-Christmas clear out this week. Will be trying to get my whole family on board. It always feels good having less stuff. :) All the best on your journey.
I loved this thoughtful post Kate and will forward it to my daughter who is facing some similar issues. The glut of gifts at Christmas brings it all to the fore and we have to find sane ways of dealing with it. It is also lovely to hear how you are doing it all as a family. Very best wishes to you.
I love this!
Congrats on your discoveries and changing the direction of your family’s growth! That can be a huge process to undertake. What a benefit for your daughter, too, growing up understanding that “things and stuff” are not what is important in life.
What a great idea about putting the artwork online. My husband has 4 young grandchildren from a previous marriage and he is always getting ‘scribbles’ from them. I don’t have the heart to ask him to get rid of them, but I might suggest this!
Thanks so much for sharing your story Kate. So often I find that minimalist blogs etc have no relevance to my life as I’m not a single, young man able to pick up a backpack and travel the world. It can be hard to be minimal and be a mother to young children so I read your story with interest and found myself nodding in agreeance the whole way through. We are really struggling with the influx of gifts after my 15mo’s September birthday and now Christmas. He already had more than enough before both events but now our small house is filled with toys. Of course they are all given with love but hey really are unnecessary and overwhelming for such a small child. With no 2 on the way as well I dread the thought of receiving more and more gifts when we already have everything a baby and toddler could need!
I love the toddlerart gallery idea, I may adapt that idea for some of my child’s work.
There isn’t much a small child needs. Maybe stack toys and blocks. I see little kids with the $100 American girl dolls and wonder what motivates their parents.
We are just beginning what I hope will be a similar process. My daughter (almost 10) amazes me. She embraces this shift to minimalism so much. (The male family members are less keen!) she said she wants her room to end up with nothing but her bed and a rug on the floor. This week we each halved our wardrobes, possibly more. Kids learn so much, it amazes me. My daughter asked if next Christmas, instead of gifts, can she just get money…a tiny bit to save for her, butmost to help people who have less. I was so amazed, because she has never been very inclined to be a generous person, but I think decluttering is helping her to see how good it feels on numerous levels.
I love your Keepsake Cupboard…going to copy that idea :)
Interesting post. My son also loves to draw and managing the papers on occasions become frustrating. I have now got my 5 year old son into the habit of drawing something and then taking a picture which is uploaded to the Microsoft Crowd Server. My son then recycles the paper and our home remains clutter free while having the memories uploaded forever.
I have one shirt box for each child. THey are 41,38 and 34. my daughter in law brought over a binder of my grandson’s funniest essays from first grade. we all got a good laugh. you can’t possibly save every piece of paper from a child’s whole life. just the best.
I saved a few funny or outstanding things from each child. My oldest has some huge trophies from high school in his basement bathroom. My youngest has an award from his time in the Navy. I didn’t save the “participation” trophies because they don’t mean anything.
I clear things out every day. I can’t imagine what our home would look like if I didn’t do this. There is so much we never even buy. I think about moving some place even smaller than where I am right now.