Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, I’m pleased to feature Dominique, who shares with us this touching tribute to her minimalist father. Please visit her blog to read more about her journey to simplicity.
Dominique writes:
It just occurred to me today while I was reading minimalism testimonials online on the Miss Minimalist website that my dad was a minimalist. My mom isn’t, but my dad was.
My dad passed away on October 11, 2014. The day after his 64th birthday. It’s still very recent and very difficult to accept that I can’t see him, hug him or hear him anymore. My father’s voice was so sweet to me. He didn’t give himself enough credit for the incredible man that he was. But maybe his modesty added to his greatness.
Anyway, my dad didn’t have or want many things. Growing up, I saw my dad use the exact same orange hair brush every day, and the same green plastic glass whenever he wanted to drink pop. My sister and I joked that those two items would be our inheritance. This was years before he got sick with COPD.
He was hard to shop for when it came to birthday and Christmas presents. He didn’t have many regular hobbies. Life for him was all about family. We’d ask him what he wanted. He would always say “Nothing. I just want to be with you guys”. So we would often just get him clothes because he never bought any for himself.
One of my favourite memories of a “present” that I gave my dad one year for his birthday was when I invited my parents, my sister and her family, and my dad’s last living sister to supper in my new house. My aunt Hélène’s husband, uncle Pierinot, had recently passed away. I had made my first turkey dinner and it turned out great. My dad was just so thrilled that we were together. He kept saying over and over again how pleased he was and how this was his best birthday. I was so proud to make him so happy. I really loved making him happy!
I’m so thankful that my dad was a minimalist. I hear of so many families who are torn apart over inheritances. By being a minimalist, my dad spared us any possible fights (although, he and my mom raised us right and I can’t really imagine that my sister and I would have fought over anything). He also spared us the guilt of having to give away things he left behind. I don’t think it was intentional. He just didn’t care about things. Well, he didn’t care about acquiring things. What he had he took care of, for a very long time. Whenever he got rid of something, it was because it was well worn out.
So what did we get? What was his legacy? In no particular order: we got a great example of devotion to family, of honesty, of work ethic, of love, of tremendous strength, of sincerity, of quiet wisdom, of forgiveness, of responsibility, of humility, of humour, of hope, of respect, of simplicity.
My sister got the green plastic glass, and I got dad’s orange brush.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
A beautiful eulogy.
Thank you!
Dominique, what a touching post ! I am actually shedding tears ! Your father was a great man full of love and wisdom and I imagine how much you miss him.
Thank you!
Hi Dominique
What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing such personal family details. Your Dad sounds like he was a lovely man who knew what was important in his life.
My sincere condolences to you and your family on your loss. The loss of a parent is very tough (lost my Mum 4 years ago) but slowly the days do get easier.
Good luck to you and I love the orange hairbrush!
Helen
Thank you! My sincere condolences to you and your family as well.
Don’t usually comment but this was such a charming and lovely piece. Thanks for telling us about your dad — sounds like a truly wonderful man, and his story is inspiring. I want to send the same message to my two teenage kids — (and walk the walk) — “I just want to be with you guys!” Really lovely. Thank you, Dominique.
Thank you! I’m honoured that my words moved you.
I love the character traits that you listed as your father’s legacy. I think it’s wonderful that his focus was on people (on you and your family!) instead of on stuff. What a wonderful role model.
Thank you!
What a beautiful story about what sounds like a wonderful man! Reminds me very much of my own father, who also never wanted anything material. Now I am older and I am following a minimalist path, I see just how right he was.
Thank you! I’m touched that you can relate to my story.
I agree with prior comments…your manifold inheritance is love and morals from your father who lived his life consistant with his values.
Thank you!
What a sweet tribute to your father! I love that ‘just’ being with his family was everything.
Thank you!
What a touching story. It is clear how much you loved your father, and I’m happy that he left you with a legacy of learning how to live rather than a houseful of stuff.
Thank you!
The most beautiful Miss Minimalists post!
Thank you! I’m honoured!
This is my favorite Monday, Real Life Minimalist post so far!!! Thanks so much for sharing. This made my day.
Thank you! I’m honoured!
This is a really beautiful post. I agree with your Dad wholeheartedly! And I suppose you cherish the brush, as it’s only one thing!!!
I promised my younger sister that when I pop my clogs she’d be able to clear out my apartment in a very short period of time (I’m still decluttering so it’ll will have to be quite some time before I die ha ha). (Joke!)
Thank you! I wish you a long happy life! (And soon clutter-free one! ;) )
Thank you for sharing your story! I look forward to reading your blog.
Thank you! I’m honoured!
This was beautiful to read. Shouldn’t we all have our priorities as in order as your dad.
Thank you! We should indeed!
Your dad sounds a lot like my mom who also passed away in 2014. I am so sorry for your loss – for our loss. At the time I didn’t have a name for how my mom lived – she was just frugal and had been my whole life. And because of that – she was able to afford out of her savings excellent assisted living and nursing care for the last 3 years of her life. Pretty good track record for a woman who never owned property, supported herself as secretary and and lived to be 88 years old (45 as a widow) with no inheritance for 45 years. As her caregiver for the last 8 years, I learned great respect for who she was and how she lived. I shared a lot of her story on my own blog. Just remember to treasure those great memories he also deposited in your life. They are worth more than gold.
Thank you! My sincere condolences for your loss. Sounds like your mother was a strong woman! The memories and their legacies are indeed worth more than gold!
What a beautiful story, thanks for sharing this with us. The first time that a blogpost on Miss Minimalist brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you! I’m honoured! I cried when I wrote it. :)
I enjoyed the post so much. I’d rather be remembered for who I was than what I had,too.
Thank you!
I have never commented on anything before but I was really touched by your post today. You are so fortunate to have had the father that you did. I too, was blessed with an extremely special man for my father. He always had time for us (6 kids) and after working all day would spend the evenings playing with us, reading to is, talking with us as and treating us as though we really mattered. He was extremely intelligent yet had all the patience in the world for children and animals. He loved poetry, music, roses and all things of beauty but he indulged his love of beauty by admiring all things in nature, never by acquiring objects.
I am very glad for you that you have the memories of your father that you do. They will sustain you as you go on without him. You made him proud!
God Bless.
Thank you! And God Bless you too!
When I got to the image of the orange brush I started sobbing. My dad had the exact same brush in brown and I remember seeing it over and over through the years as I grew up. He passed away 10 years ago, but my mom still has the brush in a drawer and I catch my breath every time I see it.
This reminds me that we don’t need tons of stuff to leave a legacy and the simplest things can have the strongest impact. Thank you so much for triggering those memories again for me today.
Thank you! Funny how a little piece of plastic can relate to a couple of strangers. :)
Beautiful tribute Dominique!
Thank you!
Dominique you described my father.
He too wanted very little and was very appreciative of just sharing time together.
He would often tell me a how lucky he was.
Whenever he returned home from work it was with a cheerful Hello! Hello1 Hello!
Thank you for sharing and reminding me How lucky I am that I had him.
Thank you!
Wonderful thoughts, beautifully written. Makes me think of my dad, who also died far too soon at 63 (many years ago now.). Thank you.
Thank you! I’m sorry for your loss.
Thanks for sharing – really – this is sweet and simple in this world that we make so complicated.
Thank you!
Dominique, your post made me smile all the way through. So much warmth and love coming through. I love how you’ve described your father’s contentment with very little. Thank you sharing your story.
Thank you, Laura! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Dominique,
Beautiful. This just brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible legacy to leave your family and an inspiration for how to live your life.
Thank you!
This is one of my favorites stories on this blog. Thank you for sharing-now your Dads legacy can spread not only to you but through you as you share it. May we all put people and relationship first over things!
Thank you!
This was a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing it. You were very lucky to have such a father.
Thank you!
Dominique, your dad sounds like a wonderful man, and you and your mom and sister were so blessed to have him in your lives! Reminds me a bit of my dad, who also loved his family, trees, the ocean, and classical music, was honest and worked hard, and never cared about acquiring stuff or proving he was “somebody” to the Joneses. I still miss him (he’s been gone 9 years), but cherish my memories of him. You’ll be able to do the same with your marvelous dad.
Thank you!
What a beautiful heartfelt story. It brought me to tears because it reminds me of when my parents downsized from a house to a condo, then to their first retirement residence and now to their last. They have very little furniture and stuff (my mother has more than my father)and you have me thinking about what of my father’s I would like to keep as a memory of him. My deepest condolences.
Thank you!
What a sweet, touching story. I’m so sorry for you loss, and thank you for sharing these parts of your dad with us so we can all learn from him.
Thank you!
My older son was saying he had no hobbies, but he loves to do things with his boys. He teaches them everything he knows. I hope he will be a father like you describe. My own father was very sick for a long time and died at 51, after spending many years in and out of the hospital. His greatest concern was that each of us would be able to support ourselves after he died.
My condolences for the loss of your father, Tina.
Dominique, that was such a beautiful piece of writing, a true celebration of your father’s life. Your father sounds a lot like my father in their ways. Im so sorry for your loss, and I hope that whenever you think of him, you continue to think of the wonderful ways that he touched your life.
Thank you!
I have 2 ashtrays from my father. He had very little. My mom was a big hoarder and we cleaned her out several times.
My mom died after 2 years in a nursing home. She continued to hoard used tea bags, stale cookies, torn plastic bags, etc. I have 2 bracelets, my sister has 2 diamond rings, and because I kept a selection of her favorite books here, about 200 books and some clothing. I have given her books away. I have given her clothing away. I kept a platter from her good china. Most of what we have isn’t one of a kind, anyway.
I am wearing a ring that was my father in law’s. My husband had it in a box for 20 years. My sons did not want it and my brother in law said I could have it. My son has his WWII medals. He was badly injured during the war. My daughter looks just like him, and my grandson is named for him. I think about him often.