Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, I’m happy to feature this wonderful contribution from Candace. She shares her perspective as a minimalist and single parent, and invites you to read more of her story on her blog.
Candace writes:
I suppose I have been a minimalist most of my life. I only discovered there was a term for a person like me within the last two years. When I was a young person, I remember my mother asking me what I was going to wear if I got rid of all of my clothes so often. My friends used to remark how I had fewer clothes than any of them, yet I always looked so nice. Even though I was younger than my closest acquaintance at the time, and made less money, I always had money to travel and do what I liked. I suppose some people are just born minimalists, and others discover it.
After going through a divorce around the time of the birth of my daughter, I questioned what was really important in my life and the direction that I wanted our lives to go. I decided that I didn’t need a big place or lots of things for the two of us. We lived very efficiently in a small space. I carried her in a sling rather than owning a baby carriage, breastfed rather than having a million baby bottles and formula to cart around. We walked and took public transportation and we traveled. Of course, being a new mom, people wanted to give me more toys, clothes, and “necessary” baby items than I could possibly use. It was definitely more than what I wanted. I said “no thanks” to most things and blamed it on the lack of space in our living quarters. Actually, I just didn’t want that junk taking up space in my mind or in my life.
Once I discovered that I was a “minimalist” and there were other people like me, I felt validated and as if I was given permission to be even more selective about the things that I allowed into my life. I was able to see clearly how the things tied me down and the lack thereof gave me the ability to do what I felt was the most important to me. It was comforting to know that there were many others who felt just like me in the world, even if I didn’t know them personally.
As I continue to live out the life that I feel is the best for me, I have discovered that I have something to share with the world. I am a single mom of color who is also a minimalist. I haven’t found much in the way of information or lifestyle for a minimalist of my sort. Therefore, I have begun a blog, www.myspoclife.com, about the life my daughter and I lead and how minimalism helps us to live that life better. We hope to be an inspiration to other single parents who live or are aspiring to a life of minimalism. Single parents don’t need to sit around waiting for the children to grow up until they can have a great life of their own. Neither do single parents need to sit around waiting for “the right one” to sweep them off of their feet. We want you to know that life is full, abundant, and exhilarating once you clear away the excess and discover what is most important for you. Thank you.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Inspiring post!
Thank you.
Thanks for sharing, Candace! Your blog looks great, too!
Thank you reading the post and for checking out our blog.
Candace,
Your story is beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing. Hope you get to live your best life, ever !
Thank you for your kind words.
I love your clarity re who you are and what is right for you
Thanks. I am still a work in progress!
I happily caught up with Candace’s new to me blog this morning. I’m not a SPOC myself but I absolutely LOVED the blog!! Bean is adorable and I hope to see much more from you Candace. Thank you for a very enjoyable and inspiring beginning to my week. Happy Monday!!! Kiki
I am happy to hear you liked the blog (and Bean).
Candace – wow – your post completely hit home with me. I was not a minimalist until my daughter arrived. As a single parent, I became completely overwhelmed with my stuff, baby stuff, the house and a full time job. I started reducing as a way to manage the feeling of overwhelm
Life got easier, I had more money and was able to spend time with my daughter rather than manage and maintain my stuff. I ended up cancelling the house cleaner and yard crew (which I thought I needed to free up time to spend with my daughter) and we now can easily take care of it all. We love travel too – and my life is 1000 times richer without the financial pressure to consume (and over consume). I agree that we are now living a life in line with our values and priorities – and “stuff” doesn’t fit into that. Congrats to you on living a life of meaning!
Congrats to you too! I don’t often hear from
single parent minimalist. This is exciting.
I enjoyed catching up with this new-to-me blog very much. What a lovely young woman Candace seems to be with her sweet daughter. I love that they travel a lot and how mindful they are. They remind me of how things used to be.
Candace, I would be interested to read about your minimalist packing when you travel – you say you only need a tote for yourself – and how you perceive a minimalist wardrobe, as this is something I’ve been working on for a long time!
Thank you for stopping by the blog.
Talking about packing and my wardrobe is on
my list of things to do. I hope to get around
to it soon.
Great post about the things that inspire and drive you, Candace. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you!
Read your blog – wow! Hope to hear more from you. Bean is so lucky to have you as her mom, all those places the two of you have visited are worth so much more than stuff.
Thank you. I truly hope Bean feels the
same way when she is older.
Loved this profile and Candace’s blog — it is refreshing to hear from so many different people as to what minimalism has done for them. I’m inspired!
Thank you.
I love this story! Candace is so inspiring. I enjoyed browsing through her blog as well. She’s got some great insight!
Thank you.
love your story Candace and your blog! thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading.
Wonderful reading your story. I cringe when I think how insanity took over – toys wise – when my daughter arrived. Everywhere you looked. It made me feel so out of control and what a waste of money and space. Thank goodness she is a teen now and has no attachment to things. We are back to space and freedom. Thanks for sharing.
inspiring story, well written :) i hope the best for you and your daughter :)
Love to see other moms!! Quite inspiring.
Good for you! Bringing up your daughter in the best way possible.
Thank you Candace. Just visited your blog and read many entries while my baby napped. I’m a single mother (by anon donor) and aspiring minimalist. I love your reflections on what minimalism behaviours give to you (opposite of deprivation). Also especially identify with your musings on being conflicted about how much stuff to give your daughter. I’m really inspired by your travels, spending your money on primarily experiences and debt free living. I will be back to your blog, please keep writing!