Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, Muntaha reminds us of what it’s like to be at the start of our minimalist journey—full of awareness and intention to live a simpler life, and figuring out how to make it happen. I think we can all relate to being a little less minimalist than we want to be, so let’s give her our support and encouragement as she joins us on this path!
Muntaha writes:
I’m an aspiring minimalist. I read all the articles, blogs and books out there but when it comes to action, I have very little to show for it. A few years ago I thought I did well when I gained some momentum and parted ways with many of my excess belongings, but it’s been a struggle ever since.
In my head, I am a frontier woman willing to live out of a backpack and travel at a moment’s notice. In real life, I am a suburbanite wife and mother, with a very large home, an SUV, and a 9 to 5 corporate job. I have no complaints about my “American Dream” life but I am not an ideal minimalist…or any kind of minimalist for that matter.
I have always been very organized and tidy, categorizing my belongings into bags, boxes, cabinets and cupboards. I learned how to be accountable for my possessions at a young age. Today, I try my best to limit my intake of stuff as much as possible. I actually don’t buy much; I absolutely love gifts of experience and love to travel. I just happen to own a lot of things (pre-minimalist thinking era) that I still use regularly. Do I get points for being able to list everything I own even though it’s a lot?
The things I do are commendable to a typical consumer no doubt, but my eyes are in the skies and I have a lot of climbing to do to be on that minimalist cloud I want to float along on through life. I guess you can say that all I did was organize or “declutter” my life for lack of a better word.
But you know what? It’s the intention that counts, and one day, I’ll fly…with only a backpack on my back and no possessions to my name. Your words of wisdom, support and inspiration are welcome.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or joining my email list.}
don’t worry when you have more ‘stuff’ than the average minimalist (who is that anyway?) and you use all of it… relax! Don’t worry that you are like the average consumer (again, who is that?). You are doing pretty good! You might not be able to live out of a backpack, but maybe that is just your ‘dream-you’ instead of your actual you! baby steps, baby steps, baby steps
Dream on (which is fun) but don’t look at your reality and feel bad about it because it is not like your dream. After all… dreams are allowed to change :-)
Yay Sacha!! Very well said!
I think the mindset is the important thing, and I find having a dream (backpacking, living in a smaller space, and so on) helps when you are deciding if you need to keep/buy something. You might find that as your stuff wears out you don’t need/want to replace it all, and your amount of stuff reduces that way.
Having said that, I find my amount of stuff goes through phases- I’ve got rid of lots of unnecessary stuff, but things still come in- I think the difference now is I am much more thoughtful about what that stuff is. There might be another purge at some point though- life changes, so the items that are necessary changes.
Living out of a backpack or a suitcase that hold all of your possessions… That is something to aspire to if you really want to go for it. <3 When I first started out on my minimalist journey, I had a lot of stuff that I widdled down over time. Little by little, my room became sparser. But the sentimental things took me longer to get rid of. What helped me get rid of my sentimental items is that I would pull my "sentimental item box" out from the closet and went through throwing everything away I was ready to get rid of. When I felt like I didn't want to part with a certain item, I didn't get rid of it and waited until I was ready to get rid of it. I even do this with my items today. Currently, I don't have that box anymore, but I do have other bins now that I store things in like electronics and pictures, crafting supplies, and office supplies that I use frequently.
But be prepared. Even as you keep getting rid of things, once you are far into your journey to minimalism, things will get harder to part with. I imagine if you want to live out of a backpack one day, this part of the journey will be extra hard. But if you truly wish to live out if a backpack with nothing holding you back, I believe your passion for it will get you to that point eventually. C: If I had to move accross the ocean, I would pack the maximum limit of extra large suitcases with only the essentials because I can replace everything I own practically. I don't own a lot of big stuff, but some things I have, like some of my kitchenware, is pricey that I would not want to buy again, lol. ^^; I would also take most of my art that is filed away and my other personal documents as well.
But I wish you all the best on your minimalist journey! By pursuing minimalism, you have taken the path to freedom and unattachment to your items that you will not regreting not taking anything with you or leaving behind anything left of yours when you finally pass away into the next world. I wish you well. C:
Marissa, your autocorrect is in need of an upgrade – “widdle” means urinating. The word you no doubt typed is “whittle”.
*whittled down over time.
My device, which is an iPad has poor autocorrect. I try to catch all of my mistakes, but some don’t show up sometimes. Thank you for catching my mistake.
You have different seasons in your life, and each of them have different requirements and priorities. I am about to turn 70, widowed and living alone. I was married twice, raised 6 children and looking back, I had several distinctly different seasons in my life. My husband, 2 small children and I lived and traveled in a 27-foot travel trailer for 8 years, and that was truly my first experience living a minimalist lifestyle, simply because there was no room for extra possessions. I found that I loved it. I now live in a small studio apartment in a house that I own (I rent out the main part) and I have more stuff than when we were full-time RV’ing. I find that living in a small space helps me resist the urge to accumulate possessions. I say all this to make the point that what is important is to set your priorities for your current season in life, and know that things will change in the future. Also know that experiences are what you will remember, not the material things.
Perhaps you are already a minimalist bc you “use regularly” what you already own. You’re intentional about bringing in new stuff. To me it sounds like you’re living minimally now to properly live your life in middle class America. My family is not a 1 bowl, guest bring your own, kind of ppl. We decided on how many hobbies, pets and how much entertainng we want to do, THEN we right sized the possesions, no more, no less.
Re frontier living, that has its own set of issues. Maybe when you’re in a different season in your life(ie empty nester & burned out on corporation), you might be in your frontier woman season then, or something else equally wonderful.
It ain’t about the stuff, but your intentional peace. Well wishes to you.
I agree with the other comments. It is not how much you own that matters but whether it is useful in your daily life. I am also a suburban mother, wife and working woman and don’t live in a sparse white home. However I feel that I can call myself a minimalist because the possessions that I own are thoughtfully considered and bring joy (or practicality) to my life. Like you I dream that one day, when my kids have left the nest that I can downsize and travel the world but for now I am content and accepting of where I am.
As you seem to be living intentionally and thoughtfully then of course you have earned the title of minimalist.
This made my day five years later, thank you.
There’s a big disconnect for me as I read your post.
You are a wife and mother, and yet the image you say you have in your head is of being an independent “frontier” woman who can take off on a whim to go anywhere and do anything.
The point about minimalism is almost a separate issue, except that by not owning anything, you could achieve the dream image more easily.
Here’s a question. Where does your family fit into this? Being mindful involves being aware of your reality. The reality is that when people choose to have children, they often for circumstances with stability and security if they are responsible. It is very hard to raise children when living like a vagabond without it having a negative effect on their education and relationships with other children. About the only situation I’ve heard about where people have made a vagabond lifestyle work with young children is by living on a boat and home-schooling. (I guess people could do this in an RV too.) It takes a LOT of discipline to do this though. There is no taking off to go anywhere and do anything — and life on a boat (or on the road) is, by necessity, minimalist and is also about planning and schooling kids is about planning and discipline.
Maybe the “dream” image needs to include the reality of your family and the reasonable choices that you have made to support them along with your values when it comes to leading a life that stresses experiences over possessions. At the same time, are you doing enough to honour the value you place on experiences? Do your family and friends know you value experiences over possessions? Are there things you can do to put more emphasis on experiences? Maybe when you do that, worries about owning less will dissipate because you will be honouring yourself.
There’s no “Oscar” for being the best minimalist, and there is no point in beating yourself up or playing a head game with yourself involving points for being as minimalist as possible.
Relax.
Congratulations, Muntaha, on being aware of and committed to owning only those things that are necessary and bring you joy. As several readers noted, you’re in the “family season” of life and may need your large house, SUV, and corporate job to support that. In just a few years, you may move into a different season, in which you chuck your possessions and move to a tiny apartment, traveling often and lightly. I wish you the very best in your journeys — and thank you for sharing your story!
Minimalism begins with intention. You’re on the right path, Muntaha. Keep going.
I hear you, Muntaha. For years, all I did was reorganize my stuff. It wasn’t until I read Miss Minimalist that I began to actually declutter and donate items. After the first few years, I began to type up actual lists of everything I owned by room. So, yes. I can actually say I know exactly how many items I own and where each item is located, and that includes my garage and small attic. But, the most interesting thing happened as I was typing. I’d look at the list and then start striking lines through items I knew I could let go of. It became a game. I’d strike five or ten items and then go gather up those things and bag them for donation. As I cleaned out, my family began to clean out their areas too, except my husband still has a ways to go. Things do creep back in, so I am trying to follow the one in-one out recommendations. The important thing is to enjoy the journey. And, keep in mind that there are many minimalists who live in very large homes, all filled with beautiful space and flat surfaces and minimal possessions. I believe you can accomplish exactly what you want to accomplish, living exactly where you are now. The important thing about your job is that you take advantage of your salary and save up to pare down. Decrease your expenses, save for the future, and plan your minimalist life. But most of all, always put your family first. I’m a minimalist, and I live in a home with seven people who make my life beautiful and memorable!! Good luck!
Kathie,
Isn’t it a fascinating position to be in to be actually able to count your belongings (regardless of how big the number is). I have started my count. You can see it here: http://frangipani.bloomfields.net.au/family/category/minimalism/
I previously thought counting was a waste of time but I have discovered it is the most motivational tool I have found so far to urge me on with my decluttering!
Muntaha,
I think the frontier lifestyle is possible with a family (assuming they are on board). It might take some planning and a whole lot of courage but you could homeschool and backpack the world with the kids in tow. Dreams only come true when we have the courage to pursue them!
Frangipani–I LOVE what you’re doing on your blog! The pictures are great. Thanks for pointing me that way!
Hi, Muntaha! I truly understand your feelings. The fact that you are looking around and thinking of ways you wish to change your life shows that you are absolutely on your minimalist journey. Minimalism is an onward-going process; I have gone back and forth with my success on this path for a long time. Your thoughtfulness and mindfulness prove that you are on your way. I went from a very overstuffed house to a much cleaner, leaner one – over the course of ten years. And this journey continues to this day (and, hopefully, into the future.) I have learned to go with the proverbial flow, knowing that things will work out. It will work out for you, too!
Thank you everyone for the wonderful advice. I especially liked the concept of seasons in life and how one season changes to the next as responsibilities and priorities in life change. It gives me a sense of peace in my current state and aspiration for a future that is more in line with my “dreams.” I realize I can be happy in every season, but in different ways. It’s important to be living in the present and not the past or the future. I will continue to strive to live mindfully and intentionally while being content with my present. Minimalism is a journey after all. You have to enjoy the ride.
I laughed when you mentioned reading all the blogs on minimalism. Several years ago I resolved not to spend more time reading about a topic (quilting, gardening, decluttering) than I spent doing it. Quite the life-changer. I also stopped doing things or accepting invitations if transit took more time than the event.
I like reading about zero-waste families. We seldom eat meat, and I try to let the other waste either be recycled or rot. Then I made myself crazy because I still had to deal with used cat litter. We were using 1 garbage bag (approximate volume) every 2 months. My friends were in awe. Even my art supplies were second hand. I decided to just do the best I could. We’ve never turned on the heat in the 16 years we’ve lived here, because we live on a middle floor in the middle of a building and have a southern exposure. If everyone just made a concerted effort to purchase and use much less, and recycle and reuse as much as possible, the environment would improve, and there would be less trash everywhere.
I keep seeing other people with bedrooms and garages full of stuff. My daughter moved in after 20 plus years on her own. We had an empty closet and dresser. She got rid of lots of third hand furniture and books and clothes.My son is storing a table and we have a small dresser and some chairs. I said she could store some plastic bins in our storage space since there is room. All we had were a few carryon suitcases there. She is still getting rid of more stuff every day.
After years of steady work, I began to get rid of pieces of furniture. When I gave away the craft items, I could give away the storage bins. When I gave away the storage bins, I could rearrange my cabinets. When I got rid of excess sets of dishes, I had more room for my daughter’s knick-knacks. With the odds and ends put away, the spaces are less cluttered. I am still playing the game of it is the 30th so 30 things are leaving.I have another bag to fill for the food pantry and a carton for Goodwill.