Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, we have such an inspirational story from Evans! She explains beautifully how minimalism doesn’t mean living a certain way (like out of a backpack, or in a tiny house). Rather, it’s a mindset that helps us live intentionally in whatever situation we find ourselves. Visit her blog to read more of her experiences.
Evans writes:
From the outside looking in you would never guess that in my heart I’m a minimalist. You would never guess that minimalism is part of my daily philosophy, part of my way of being. When I was a new mother 25 years ago I realized that keeping things simple was the way I could keep the house clean, have time for my babies, have time for me and let me stay home with my children. Back in the 90’s there were some resources, Don Aslett, The Tightwad Gazette, Elaine St. James. Minimalism blogs didn’t invent the world of simple but definitely accelerated the movement.
I kept our lives simple living close to schools, choosing only a few outside activities, simple wardrobes, edited toys. I had lots of time to read and walk and help my daughters pursue their passion. Then came the big move. Three years ago we had a week’s notice to move to a family home. My husband and his brother’s business where on the property and my mother-in-law needed care. There was no choice but to move to a very large home filled with 60 year of stuff collected by people traumatized by the Depression and poverty in their past. Now I was traumatized by having to deal with so much.
I turned more intently to minimalism to help me survive a house that hadn’t been purged or updated since 1968. It was minimalism that helped me be ruthless in removing the truly useless and uncover the beautiful things to be enjoyed rather than neglected. I gave away as much as a could to charity and friends and found the relatives that would cherish the heirlooms and made a vow never to do this to my children.
I got it almost all done when fate had me do it again two years later. My parents large house had to be downsized and moved in ten days. I purged and packed what my mother needed for her small apartment and then set up a family flea market so my mother’s beautiful things became cherished by her family.
For the third time I now have the basement cleaned out, the closets functioning, the kitchen tidy. I will never get to downsize to the little cottage of my dreams but I do live a scaled down minimalist life in the context of a seemingly non minimalist world. My clothes take up a small fraction of the walk-in closest so the rest of the space is a cozy home office. Many of the rooms are closed off and only need an occasion cleaning but are ready for large family and friend gatherings which bring us all so much joy. Our daily lives are in a few rooms that are clutter free and easy to manage.
I don’t know how I would have managed without minimalism as my guide. I combined three houses into one in two years and lived to tell the story, made the important and beautiful shine and moved the family family forward into the future with the best of the past.
Minimalism helped me survived intense materialism by keeping me focused on the essentials and reminded me I wasn’t alone in my quest. The landscaping is simplified so my husband can easily mow the now park-like yard and uses the time as meditation. I have the housework down to a couple of hours a week and don’t need any help. One daughter has very limited dishes and has conquered her messy kitchen. My other daughter has a micro apartment so she can walk to work. Minimalism has changed us all so we can honor the past and still live the life we like.
Two years ago my youngest daughter and I packed a change of clothes and walked across Spain on the Camino. Five weeks of life as a modern pilgrim with only the essentials, we will never be the same. Pilgrims carry only the things that serve their journey. My home serves my journey everyday, it is be a place of refuge for myself and others. Minimalism has helped heal the past of the trauma of lack and have transformed it into an abundant life.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or joining my email list.}
Thank you for shearing! I got so much inspiration reading this!
Great story, Evans! Just goes to show that minimalism doesn’t have to take place on a tiny scale, it can work with big homes/lives as well. Bravo!
I love this reflection on so many levels!
Follow-up — I just spent 20 minutes reading your fantastic blog, (Lady) Evans. It’s so rich and eclectic and wonderful, I’ve already bookmarked it. I hope sometime I get to travel as much as you have (a pilgrimage with ONE change of clothes??? however did you manage??) Look forward to many more posts to come!
Here is how you walk for five weeks with one change of clothes. You buy two sets of quick dry clothes. After a day’s walk you take a shower and put on your clean clothes. You take the baby shampoo you washed your hair and body with and use it for your clothes, then hang dry. You wear your clean clothes to bed (I usually put on a pair of silk long johns) and then repeat the next day. I enjoyed having so few clothes that I finished the rest of the summer with just five outfits.
Wow, what an inspirational story!
This was just what I needed to hear today! thanks so much!
Thanks for sharing! I love how you talk about moving forward into the future with the best of the past.
Clearing out 3 family homes after the owners passed away was an eye opener for me. It changed my whole perspective about what I purchase. I’ve donated so much over the years. I make simple meals, have a simple wardrobe and enjoy a lighter, easier home to care for. My time is spent with people I love, not dust collectors.
Love this story–what an inspiration! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m not quite a minimalist (yet) but have made great strides. But one of my worries is my family. My parents, aunt and sister all have homes packed full of possessions, old and new. I have no children so I do worry at some point I’ll need to clean out these homes alone and I won’t be young anymore (I’m 47 now). This was helpful to me that it can and will get done somehow. That I should just relax, love and enjoy everyone now and not worry needlessly about these things (the worry usually comes when I’m overwhelmed with my own journey). I try to be an example for everyone without banging them over the head with the minimalist mantra although the temptation is there to hound them with how wonderful it would be if we reduced our clutter.
This was so inspirational, Evans! Amy Dacyczyn, Don Aslett, and Elaine St. James were my “gurus” in the 90s as well. Their advice also helped me be a stay-at-home mom who still had some time for herself! I love your perspective on moving your family “forward into the future with the best of the past.” What a positive way to look at clearing out decades of stuff. I’ll definitely be checking out your blog.
A really wonderful approach to Life. Thank you so much for sharing.
Wow, “buen camino” to you!
I think this is my favorite story so far–partly because this is the kind of lifestyle I want to leave to my daughter (and I would LOVE to walk the Camino one day with her) and partly because you convey such joy in your situation, adapting your principles to your environment so that you can live with peace and integrity in a large space. If put into a similar situation, I would hope to model your contentedness and delight in being able to host family without stressing about the extra upkeep such space requires. Brava to you (and bravo to your meditating, lawn-mowing husband!). Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing! I am on the journey of becoming a minimalist too. Initially to get rid of clutter but ultimately to heal my spirit. =)
The day finally came when my husband took 2 big bags to Goodwill. My brother is talking about moving out of his huge 4 BR 3 bath home. I have filled bags and bags of things for him to give away. I only saw 1 thing I would like in the whole place, if he offers me anything. He buys in huge quantities, there is a wall of paper goods.
My brother invited me to come and clean out closets again. We shredded boxes and boxes of papers. I also filled a bag with expired medicines as they can’t go in the garbage or the toilet. Even though my niece and nephews are in their 30’s, their every piece of schoolwork and report card and valentine were there. I made piles for recycle, keep and garbage. So many things with broken zippers or water damage. They are moving from a huge home to a 1200 sq ft apt. My niece and nephew said to encourage them to get rid of broken dishes and pots and pans they don’t use. When I got home, I filled another bag for Goodwill and gave away another bag of craft supplies.
My daughter moved in a year ago. She just got a better part time job. We tossed more papers again. She also threw out old make up. She gave away some books and some clothes. I would love to work with her every night on sorting her stuff. For myself, I try to get rid of as much as I can. She has always had a hard time sorting and has had ADD. When she gets depressed it just makes it harder for her.