Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
This week, Greg shares with us the fascinating story of his minimalist journey, and how it’s led him to a place of peace, freedom, and possibility.
Greg writes:
I am one of those lucky souls to whom minimalism came by accident. During the perfect storm of a backpacking adventure, a break-up, and a move, it came into my life before I even knew what it was.
My girlfriend and I had packed all our stuff in storage and I went backpacking around South America while she started a semester abroad in Belize. At the end of my trip I looped up to Belize for a visit, where she broke up with me.
I went home to Canada to deal with what we left behind. I was also completely, unbelievably broke. I couldn’t afford to pay the airport tax to leave Belize and I think it was only like $10 or something (thank God for the kind lady at the till).
Also, before I left I had decided to change my life path (again) and start journalism school, so I only had a few months to get organized and make some money to be able to afford going back to school.
Needless to say it was a patchy few months and everything that wasn’t essential was left by the wayside. I jumped from friend’s house to friend’s house, working crazy amounts of hours and sorting through a house sized storage compartment of stuff in the late evenings, constantly feeling on the brink of being overwhelmed.
And yes, I do consider that a lucky sequence of events that led me to minimalism.
Two years later with the money I had saved from not buying anything, out of pure fear of ever having to face a storage container full of stuff ever again, I went on another backpacking trip.
This time I carried literally half the stuff that I carried before, and to say my return was less chaotic would be an understatement. The trip was epic and established me as a lifelong travel addict and my reintegration into society upon return was seamless. This was when I realized the beauty and power in minimalism.
I went from being strenuously disorganized and lost to being secret agent-like in effortless efficiency.
I think my friends are still confused as to what happened to the discombobulated person who literally never had his keys, wallet and phone together at the same time.
The peace of mind that comes from not having to constantly want, collect, and care for things literally changed my life. Just writing this made me think back to what my mind used to be like, and have my heart rate go up.
It is hard now for me to imagine that there are still people out there who have never seen the end of their clean and get organised to-do list.
All that being said, I am definitely still on my journey to personal minimalism perfection. I had the realization the other day that by focusing too much on minimalism, in a way I am again focusing too much on stuff.
I have always been a seeker, and minimalism has been one of my greatest tools for figuratively uncovering a whole mindset that I was unaware of before, but for me minimalism isn’t the end.
I look at it as having cleaned up a bunch of stuff that was occupying a place that it shouldn’t have, and now I am looking for what to fill it up with. This to me is the fun part of the journey.
It is not just the acquiring of, but the freedom to search, for love, for wisdom, for beauty, and for God, unrestrained. It is like I have stepped out of the whirlwind of a life where I had no control and into a peaceful place where I can freely and willfully explore, and I am truly thankful for that gift.
I have recently quit my job and moved to Cambodia. I spend my days meditating, walking on the beach, working on my website that I built to help people find responsible businesses to shop from, and promoting the Conscious Consumer Movement.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or joining my email list.}
“the realization the other day that by focusing too much on minimalism, in a way I am again focusing too much on stuff.”
You know, this is a big struggle I have had with minimalism. Before i knew anything about the concept, I lived in a chaotic home that made me feel vaguely uncomfortable. Now after some years of work, my home has many fewer items in it but my discomfort is no longer vague. I still have an overfilled bookcase in my office, a toddler who makes a mess a minute, and an extended family that is big into gift giving, even though I’ve tried to communicate that the influx of so many new things is stressful rather than joyful. Thinking about my possessions is taking up a lot more conscious brain space now than it used to. I’m not convinced this is good. Sometimes I think I’m a less content person now than I was before I discovered minimalism.
Any other minimalists have any this on this? Something that’s been bothering me for a while. Relieved to see someone else mention it so I know it’s not just me.
Hi Megan, I know what you mean. I think the main problem is for me that while I can control what I own, I have much less control over the belongings (husband, kids) and behaviours (generous gift-giving relatives) of those around me, who also have a lot of influence over how much stuff I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. But I don’t want to wish away my kids’ childhood, looking forward to the day when there won’t be toys all over the place or they have left home and taken their stuff with them!!! I think the saying goes ‘change what you can and accept what you can’t’. Now if only I could take that advice myself….!!
One more thing, when I discovered minimalism I thought I had found the answer to the never-ending problem of housework. But not everyone else in my home cares so much about that, so they don’t see minimalism as the amazing life-changing discovery that I do, so they have not come on board. That can drive me nuts – don’t they see how much work it would save me??!! I would love to know, are the minimalists in most homes usually the people who feel they have most responsibility for keeping the house tidy? Just my theory :)
In my house I am the minimalist and the one who cares most about keeping the house tidy. I became a minimalist while still living in my parents house, and there are multiple reasons I like it, but making it easier to keep the house as tidy as I would like is definitely on the list.
This is me for sure! Toddler, spouse, parents, in-laws all contribute to amount of stuff and level of chaos; I am definitely both the one who cares most about a tidy space and the one who is most for chucking extraneous possessions (we just don’t always agree on what’s “extraneous” :) ). Although my spouse does acknowledge that it feels better when there are clean, ready-to-use surfaces and less visual clutter…converting that knowledge into motivation is surprisingly hard!!
Leah from http://www.thriftshopchic.com
Daisy-My father-in-law was minimalist, but his wife was a keeper of MUCH stuff. He could only control his closet, his garden, and his work area. His son, my husband, takes after his mother, but he has come around to minimalism slowly. So, yes, in our home I am the minimalist who feels most responsible for keeping all flat surfaces clear. We have children and grandchildren here, plus a lot of company. I don’t allow anyone to take over my home. Every night and every morning I make a quick sweep of the house, righting things to order. This means the main living areas of the home are clean and uncluttered. This example–and the ease and beauty of the cleared rooms–has spread to my children in that they must deal with everything that belongs in their rooms, and it has led them to becoming minimalists as well.
Greg–Since you mentioned God, I am going to explain how He had a hand in leading me to minimalism. I was living a very busy and hard-working life, but I began to feel a push inside me to stop what I was doing. Unfortunately, I let myself be persuaded by friends/colleagues to put that push aside, but a year later the push returned. That time I knew God had something else in store for me, so I quit my responsibility and the direction I’d been heading. Almost immediately I found my new minimalist path and jumped right onto it, running. Miss Minimalist has helped me immensely, and now my large studio that was once cluttered with boxes and storage is my dance studio, and it is a place for exploring my heart, mind, and direction. I look at my life now and feel so blessed and happy. I know that decluttering my life and stuff has allowed me freedom and happiness, time to develop talents I didn’t know I possessed, and opportunities to dig deep into all my passions. More importantly, with minimalism, there are moments to look loved ones in the eye, to communicate acceptance and inclusion whole heartedly, to express another’s priority/importance in our hearts (which a loved one instinctively senses the truth anyway), and to build a bonding essential to others feeling safe, confident and secure of who they are and of their place. I don’t wish to be dramatic, but all of this is worth much more than money and stuff. I enjoyed your story, Greg, and I wish you everything you are contemplating and searching for. It is coming to you and will continue to come to you. Thank you so much.
Thanks Cathy! I am currently currently feeling that push from God myself. I am sure there is something in the Christian “Deny Yourself, Pick up the Cross” or the Buddhist teaching of shutting down the ego, that leads to a much greater awareness of that push when you stop defining yourself by a pile of stuff. I am still working on finding out where I am being pushed though, so I really appreciate your encouraging words!
Absolutely Daisy, I thought minimalism would cure me of housework! How sad this is not entirely true. Maintaining neat spaces–assuming you are the type of person who, you know, does stuff in the space you have–takes effort, and there is no magical way around it. I suppose I could get everything perfectly in order and then sit there quietly so as not to disturb anything, but that’s no fun, and dust would gather anyway. Such is life–it entails ongoing work and can’t be lived in a state of constant perfection, and learning to be ok with that is, I think, probably a big part of the lesson for me.
Thanks all for your thoughtful comments! And especially to Greg for sparking the discussion.
Hey Megan your comment really made me think. It is like before and after minimalism, stuff still takes up the same amount of space in your brain , and since now your stuff is so focused and organized it now takes conscious brain space rather than unconscious brain spcae. For me personally getting that unconscious brain space back was the dropping of a burden that I will never pick up again (the never ending and unfinishable list of things to clean , fix buy and organize). That being said I fully know what you mean by being less ocontent if you are not careful what you allow your brain to do with that freed up time and energy. A helpful step for me was not defining myself in terms of being a minimalist, but instead striking out with my new found freedom to start to discover my true identity. Minimalism is a tool to help you acheive something in much the same way most stuff starts as a tool to achieve something, but soon you start to think it makes you what you are ( a great example of this is a car) then you lose a small piece of freedom because you feel like you have to live in a definition. For me true freedom and the journey to finding yourself is where I started to find contentment. I hope all the best for you on your journey!
I wouldn’t call myself a minimalist yet-just a wannabe, but I’ve come a long way. I wasn’t prepared to deal with all the “stuff” I acquired when I became an adult, then a wife, then a mother to multiples. It completely overwhelmed me, but I didn’t quite get it. After Christmas, I put stocking stuffers in a bag in the closet, not realizing that I didn’t have to keep the stuff since I wasn’t using it. Now I have become much more minimal, and while I love reading about it and putting new great ideas into action, I don’t spend a ton of time dwelling on it. Instead I keep adding new small habits as I feel ready and as my family can handle it well. I simply edit bit by bit over time as long as it makes our space FEEL better and improves our life by saving time etc. It’s to the point where it’s now subconscious rather than an effort, and I am still surprised when guests visit and ask how and why our space is so tidy with all these children. (Because everything has a place, and we continually edit out what we don’t love and use and what overflows.) They’re asking me if I spend all day cleaning, and I’m confused because I actually loathe cleaning. But I realize that I’ve developed habits (and taught the children) to put away things, wipe up messes right away, wipe the bathroom at bedtime, reset the home afresh each night. I don’t even think about it until someone reminds me. I don’t get stressed out by the toys my children are given. I let them play with them, and they quickly tire of them or choose to keep them and give something else away to make room. Either way, there is a limited space for stuff, and even they have learned to embrace and rest in that. I hope when I’m truly as minimal as I’d like to be that I will have this same peace. Thank you for giving me something to ponder and work toward.
Really enjoyed your post and your wonderful sense of humour! Thanks for an inspiring and entertaining story!
Hey Jenni, I have just recently started playing with my writing style to try and bring out a bit of my humour so your comment really means a lot to me, thanks!
wow! and look at you now, a better version of you and sounds much more in touch with yourself. congrats and i wish you ALL the best.
Thanks Flor! I truly do feel blessed to be in the place where I am now! All the best to you too!
Love the comment about focusing too much on minimalism as it’s another way of focusing too much on stuff.
That’s an issue I have, and sometimes need to stop myself as spending time obsessing on how few things I can have is counterproductive to the lifestyle I’m trying to create. A lifestyle where my time is spent on things that matter to me. (I hate to say that paring down my kitchen drawer from 3 tools to 1 isn’t always the best use of my time–but ohhhhh it’s so much fun!)
Hahaha, I truly feel that joy of finding another step toward creating perfect order. It was like once I realized that chaos is unnecessary, all of a sudden I needed perfection.
Secret agent-like efficiency — love that turn of phrase!
Haha, when Francine accepted my story that was the phrase she said she liked too!
What a great post! I really enjoyed reading your writing, Greg, and your experiences strongly resonate with me. When I backpacked Europe, I realised I was quite comfortable living with less stuff but carrying 14 kg of stuff was taxing to my small body. I thought I could live in a youth hostel indefinitely. My souvenirs were photos and postcards. A friend who travelled with me bought expensive and heavy souvenirs at every stop and ended up maxing out her credit card and owing another friend $600. I never did end up living with so little stuff again but I’m comfortable with the amount of stuff in my home. I wish you the best in finding the right balance for you.
Thanks! I m pretty sure that the lessons we learn about stuff are one of the top five benefits of travelling! Also seeing people who have very little who are happy, is enlightening in a way that needs to be seen to be truly felt. Now after quite a bit of backpacking I do think I have hit that perfect amount of stuff area , now it is minimizing and focusing on projects and ideas and continually searching for who I really am !
Hi Greg! Great post – thank you for sharing your story! It sounds like you’ve been at both ends of the spectrum. Your comment, ” I had the realization the other day that by focusing too much on minimalism, in a way I am again focusing too much on stuff,” struck a cord with me. I have felt that same way on occasion. Right now, I’m in that frame of mind. I think I am needing to peel away another layer; perhaps after that layer has been peeled away I will not be so focused on the stuff. I do love it when I am in the middle of doing something I love and then remember previous cluttered/complicated circumstances that kept me from enjoying this particular activity. I do hope that you and those of us that feel this focus on stuff will be able to dispense with those thoughts an just enjoy our new uncluttered lives!
Hey Cindy , thanks, and whar you said about pealing layers is the perfect analogy. I think that we naturally use external things to help define who we are, and so minimalism is a great first step beginning to find yourself, but the sear h for your true self is a lifelong quest
It was a pleasure to read your story.
A life lived according to nature requires only the bare necessities.
I love this. Love it. I have had a love of minimalism all my life (due to my parents keeping sooooo much stuff) so, when I married a man who was a hoarder of items, I should have known it wouldn’t work out. When we divorced, he kept the china, the silver, crystal, etc. I just didn’t want it. I live in a small house now and am constantly evaluating what to get rid of. It makes me happy not to have the chaos of stuff around me.
Great story, Greg. I find it’s often when people hit an absolute low point that Minimalism rears its beautiful head.
“secret agent-like in effortless efficiency” – what an awesome ambition! Love this.
Hi Greg, than you for your inspiring post. Like so many other readers & comments here your phrase ”I had the realization the other day that by focusing too much on minimalism, in a way I am again focusing too much on stuff”, really stuck a chord with me. My journey of minimalism is rather different from most others, so this is more true for me than most I think.
I came from a near horder like messy & disorganised family home so I always tried hard to keep my own spaces tidy, althow my parents would invade it with e.g. one of their messy bookshelfs since I had so much empty space left over in my room! When I moved from home (for college) I was over the moon happy to finally be able to live in an area I organised to my hearts content. Which I did. My small studio apartments and later on in life, those I shared with my husband were always organised, serene and tidy. Friends coming over would sometimes compare our home with an IKEA catalogue.
But. Like my own family, I had a lot of stuff. My husband is a born minimalist and complained a lot about the amount of stuff we kept. It was all organised, but still there was much he felt was unnessecary. The reason behind the accumulation of stuff was never an unhealthy shopping behavoiur of mine, but rather I kept stuff “just in case”, or thinking about the phrase “waste not, want not”, and for sentimental reasons.
So, to answer Daisys question, no, I was the person tidying and cleaning our home but my husband was the minimalist. Our home was always neat and tidy, but behind closet doors or in basements lay (well & neatly organised) rows and stacks of stuff. So on a daily basis the stuff didn’t bother me. I didn’t think about it. I don’t even think it occupied an unconsious part of my brain space.
The only time my stuff did make me stress out was when I/we were moving. Packing, lugging & unpacking was no easy task. Or that difficult time in our marriage I contemplated divorce (for non stuff related reasons) and was also stressed out about how I possibly could live again in a small space with all my belongings.
Two years ago minimalism came into my life when we moved across the country. We were moving because of work opportunities, and had to move into a smaller space becase housing prices were higher in our new city. So I knew we had to get rid of a lot of stuff. I made the biggest culling of posessions ever in my life and yet, as we moved in the new place, our stuff just barely fit. All storage areas were crammed to max. It made me frustrated to feel choked/stuffocated dispite my efforts before the move so I started reading all blogs and books I could on minimalism, culling & organising.
Now, I think our posessions are pared down to 50% compared to before we moved. But, externally all looks the same as always. The difference being my constant, never ending concoius focus on our stuff! They used to just exist, bothering me only every four years or so when we moved, but now I’m on a constant lookout on what to pare down next! This last move was my most stressful one by far though so I am motivated to pare down so that next move may be an easier task, but I sometimes wonder at the soundness of my obsession on a potential future move… Although I do hope, as some of you have mentioned, that I may have soon reached a level in my downsizing were I may finally rest and stop focusing on my stuff again. At least that’s what I hope for! :) Otherwise, the one big thing minimalism has brought into my life is focus on my stuff!
K, I too am super organized with too much stuff. I’ve been slowly working on paring down and making smaller areas that set limits for how much we have. At first I was discouraged, but when I look around and see the progress, I realize I’m now on autopilot. I don’t realize I’m thinking about it, but as ideas pop into my head or I see things I thought we needed but haven’t used ever or in a long time, I know it’s time to pass it on to someone that will use it. One thing that has really helped is that I started taking note of what I want with me on trips. I realize how little I actually use and enjoy using. So I made sure to set up spaces for the things we love and that makes it easier to let go of the excess-even for the children as they are growing and learning that it is fun to play with certain favorites. For example I enjoy a variety of crafts that take up a lot of space if I keep everything. I like to crochet but only in winter; so I gave away all my yarn except for my current project. When I want to make something else, I’ll get just enough yarn to make that. I only kept the paper and stamps I enjoy using most and that fit in one container. If I need more I can get more then. If it helps, you can sell things and set that money aside so if you need to have something back later, you can get it again.
I’m currently having a bit of an epiphany.
I ditched around a quarter of my things when I moved in with my ex and rented my house out. Thought I was doing well until I tried to live there, and realized he’d ‘cleared out’ a wardrobe for me except for the stuff he’d left in and on top of it. I had just enough room for clothes I wore to work, some toiletries and a few cooking utensils (which really bugged me, as I did all the cooking and was stuck with his late mother’s antiquated offerings).
I couldn’t stand this any longer and moved back home 3 months ago when my tenants gave me notice. As I unpack the 80% of my things that were in the garage I have disposed of many things that were invaded by mice or got mouldy and ruined.
Now I am enjoying the good things and donating or binning the things I don’t love. I have met a lovely man who doesn’t accumulate clutter and has been very sweet in that he is thinking of storage solutions for me. I’ve had to be brutal and say there is ample storage, I just no longer want this much stuff. Aside from some boxes still to be unpacked you wouldn’t think my home was overflowing, but it’s too much for me. I believe our stuff owns us rather than the other way around. I choose to let go of as much of it as possible and unleash my free and creative spirit :-)
Greg, I loved this story! I have traveled with a huge suitcase & carry on. Now when I go on little trips, I just use one backpack, and it’s so fun to realize that’s all I need. Enjoy your adventure through life. I doubt you’ll have regrets that you dared to do what moves you!
Constantly giving things away and recycling. Buying very little new. Never “stocking up”.
I get a lot of my hobby supplies and clothes given to me. I take the few things I know I can use and pass on the rest. Someone gave me wrapping paper and cards and stickers today. I will give them to a friend who can use them. I was given some plants a few years ago and kept one and gave the rest away. We live in 1600 sq ft. I would be just as happy in a smaller space. My husband wanted a bigger, fancier place..I like my closet and dresser to be half empty.
My neighbor gave me a beautiful orchid. I found a public area for it –away from my cat. I gave my neighbor two low maintenance plants I had. I try to find new homes for things all the time.