Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, Camille shares her story of loss, letting go, and healing with the help of minimalism. Please visit her blog to connect with her and read more.
Camille writes:
Looking back, there have always been indications that I was a minimalist. As an active kiddo, I used to make my barbies live in a tent and allow my friends to use the barbie house. In college, being an avid lover of the outdoors, I had a few big backpacking trips with a dear friend and I was always enamored that we could carry everything we needed on our backs. I loved to plan and organize my stuff and we would really pair it down to just the essential things we needed because we did not want the extra weight. Funny how that is a perfect metaphor for minimalism today!
My father was an army officer so growing up we moved many a time. Subsequently, I too met and married a military man which lead me to move to Hawaii. My time in Hawaii was the best and worst in my life. The best because that was where I was introduced to the sport of Triathlon and the worst because that was where I lost my husband. My husband was deployed to Afghanistan where he lost his life in a helicopter accident supporting our country’s military efforts. The shock and devastation was more than my mind could handle and I became pretty depressed. I vowed to move forward, however, and eventually fell in love again. I was lucky and thankful to not be alone for very long. Of course he was military too so I eventually moved again to be with him.
Most people know that after your loved one dies in the military you are also given quite a few benefits, financially. With these benefits I was able to pay off our debts and really move forward in life. I was so very grateful for that but it also allowed me to have more spending money and boy did I spend! Looking back, I think it was to fill that deep hole in my heart. Although I had a new love and a new life, something was still missing. I was still sad and no amount of new shoes, new triathlon gear, new housing items, etc. could fill that. Death works in strange ways.
Moving from Hawaii and buying a house with my new significant other was a big step and I became quickly overwhelmed with how to fill it. I have never been good at decorating and looking at all they stuff people had in their homes and where the best places to get it, locate it, etc. was completely exhausting. One day I decided to clean out our closet full of exercise and triathlon equipment (yes, we have a closet for this). This one action created a snowball effect leading to organizing, decluttering, and ultimately minimalism. I found an article on Pinterest that knocked my socks off! It was about living more simply and with less stuff. At that point, I devoured anything about minimalism that I could get my hands on. I was relieved that it was okay to not want this life I thought I had to live. I felt like my soul was literally being fed. This concept was what really felt like home and no other actual home can even compare to give me that feeling.
In the past few years, I have also lost a pregnancy, a sister, and a beloved dog. My amount of loss is pretty significant but working towards a more minimalist life has actually helped me focus more on what is important and what can be let go of. As I give away and declutter, I am actually also letting go of the loss, hurt and anger. Who knew that becoming a minimalist could also be so healing? Who knew that letting go would mean letting (love) in? I only began my minimalist journey 8 months ago and it is an ongoing continuous process. My goal now is to continue this journey and motivate others to design a healthier more minimalist lifestyle.
Share my journey or work with me: minimalisthealthcoach.com.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or joining my email list.}
Thank you for sharing your story, Camille. Enjoying your website. :)
Wow, what a story! So sorry for all the loss you have experienced in your life. Your strength to keep moving forward is inspiring. Blessings to you and your family!
God bless you and your family. Thank you for your husband’s service. We have very similar stories of many tragic losses at once. I will say simple living has helped me a lot. I wish you all the best.
Time is more valuable than possessions.
Beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing!
Beautifully written – I loved your insights. I find that simplifying and minimalism gives me a small sense of control especially when life is out of control. After several years of care-giving and parenting challenges, getting rid of things that represent the past and simplifying are my favorite things to do. I do like to “refresh” my surroundings and have “new to me” things – but my days of accumulating and shopping for recreation are behind me. It has opened up new possibilities and interests to have less stuff to care for.
I am trying to read posts I have missed. Every day, I recycle a big bag of paper and plastic. I also try to give away at least 2 big bags of clothing or household items every week. My neighbors and friends give me so much. I get my clothes free or secondhand. Some of our food is given to us. Some I get free with coupons. I do a lot of crafts with found objects. People give me torn, worn out clothing and I make it into animals or felt it. I save the buttons and trim.
I am seventy. A friend just told me she and her husband stopped going to garage and rummage sales because they had so much already. They have a basement bigger than my whole condo filled with various craft supplies. That doesn’t count the bedroom she turned into her sewing room. We have other friends with entire houses stuffed with things their kids don’t want. The only minimalists I know are two neighbors and some friends young enough to be my children.