Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, I’m happy to share an update from Rhiannon, who was originally featured as a Real Life Minimalist two years ago. Her story is a wonderful example of how minimalism can ebb and flow in our lives, and help us find balance when we need it.
Rhiannon writes:
It has been so inspirational to read so many people’s updates on their journeys in minimalism. I wish I had a smoother story to tell, but the last years have been busy and full. And my husband and I have had rounds of retail therapy, decluttering, and reminding each other of the life style we want. It feels like a constant balancing act of keeping a clutter free life and still taking care of all the people in my home.
The last time I wrote, I had one son. Now I have two boys to keep me busy. I did save all of my first son’s baby clothes and accessories, which I have been slowly clearing out as my youngest son outgrows things. It is a small victory against accumulation, but I will count it as a win.
Both of my boys are wild and crazy delights. Like most young kids, they get wrapped up in wanting what ever cool thing they see in the store, and I give in. My husband and I have given in to their requests or openly bribed them with toys. (You do whatever it takes when it comes to potty training.) I did notice very quickly that both boys get overloaded with extra clutter. In a room full of toys, they can’t find anything to play with because they are so overwhelmed. I do try to keep their toys paired down and thoughtfully edited. I do try to keep their toys battery free and educational/active play items. Even still, I often feel swamped in crayons, sticker charts, duplo creations, and their sweet little drawings. I do keep their craft cupboard free of clutter, but I find that I have relocated most of it to my closet (hoarder gene.) I am so deeply attached to every page they have scribbled on that I have a huge pile of their drawings in the middle of my closet. If anybody has any tips of how to downsize those, please let me know.
Last summer, we lost my Grandma. She was a witty, warm, kind lady and I miss her a lot. One of the difficult things since her passing is that I am frequently getting phone calls to see if I want any of her things. Packages of my grandma’s things will show up randomly too. I have accepted a few items, and my Grandpa thoughtfully picked out a beautiful pair of her earrings for me that I wear often. It has been hard to explain to my Grandpa, who is grieving the loss of his wife of 60 years, that as much, I love Grandma, I just don’t need all of her things to remember her by. He feels that me saying that I have what I am happy with to remember Grandma is like saying I don’t care.
A recent bit of news has helped us refocus to a less cluttered life. Our oldest son has ASD. It wasn’t welcomed news, it wasn’t much of a shock. In looking at what he will need moving forward, it is clear that we need to get our home to be a physically/visually calm orderly place at all times in order to help him process things around him more easily. We have to have very scheduled days now to give him the order and predictability that he needs. To accomplish that, we have had to do more to streamline our routines, meal plan days in advance, decrease the clutter and clean up time in the whole house, and declutter our schedules to be more available and present with him.
Moving forward, I am hoping to find a bit more balance in minimalism and consumerist practices. If not for me, then for my boys, who are really most important to me.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or joining my email list.}
Hi Rhiannon,
Thank you so much for your really inspiring post!
One suggestion for precious children’s art work: take a photo of each piece and keep them all together in the cloud. You can add little memory notes about when and where each piece was made. Then, if you wish, you could eventually turn them all into an art book for each of your sons – so many digital photos fit beautifully into small books. And you could keep and frame (enlarge or reduce if required) each boy’s favourite piece/s as family art.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Grandmother. Though those we really love are never truly lost to us, as they live on in our hearts and the ways they inspire our lives, whether or not we have physical mementos of them.
Best wishes with everything.
And thank you again,
Anne in Ireland
xx
Scan your kids’ artwork and make a photo book! I really like Shutterfly or Snapfish.
Agree, I was lost in a storm of art papers until I did this. My daughter loves looking through the her book. I kept only 5 or 6 of real pierces and recycled the rest.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandmother.
I love that you have a craft cupboard for your boys. One of my favorite memories of my childhood was when I was over at my grandparent’s house and my cousin and I “camped” in their travel trailer while they were in the house. We spent an entire week making lima bean cards. The lima bean was the head and we drew the bodies and added embellishments. One ENTIRE week we did this and we still laugh about it today.
Cost of this project? Paper, a bag of lima beans and leftover craft supplies = priceless memory. All my favorite childhood memories were of when I was creating. None of the traditional toys that I had hold the same type of memories.
Just a word about your Grandpa – as an older person myself, I can say that the older generation often associates things with memories. The possessions are almost a part of the person to many of us. So, when he sees things that belonged to your Grandma, he is remembering good times with her and the things help him remember those good times. Giving some of those things to you is a sharing of her, and he is hoping that you will also remember Grandma while using these things or having them in your home. Maybe you could talk with him about some of your own memories of Grandma and tell him what reminds you of those memories – reassure him that you will continue to think of her often. Maybe go over to his house and take some pictures of special things and then make a Shutterfly book with some of the memories in it (he could also have a copy, as well as a copy for you). Just some ideas – I wish you and your family much healing after your loss.
I also have a child with ASD, and another with ADHD (and then 3 more). My children also looooove to draw and draw and draw – they went through an entire CASE of paper in less than a year, as well as hundreds of markers. If we’d kept them all, or even tried to photograph them before recycling, I would have gone over the edge. My rule became: “if it’s on the floor, obviously you don’t care about it, so it goes in the bin.” That seems to have resonated with them because they’re a lot more casual about recycling their own discarded drawings and keeping their special ones. We have favorites in plastic sleeves in 3-ring binders – some that they chose, and some that struck me as especially adorable. They’ve also wallpapered their bedrooms with their drawings. The rest are gone, because there were just SO MANY.
Thank you for your post Rhiannon. Your love for your children and your Grandma comes through in your post. I am struggling to maintain a cutter free home with a toddler so I can relate. Best of luck to you in creating the minimalist home you desire!
We’re not dealing with as much paper as some others, but we try to mix my son’s creativity and generosity by either drawing for a specific person or asking him who he’d like to that give that drawing to (if we’re not claiming it). Then we either mail it off or give it away the next time we see them. I don’t feel guilty about not wanting to keep everything, and he feels great knowing he can brighten someone else’s day. Spread out, it becomes a blessing rather than a burden. The older people in our church and local retirement home especially love when I personalize it (it can be as simple as To: ____ I hope you have a great day! Love: _____). My son loves to see his creations hanging in someone else’s home, and it seems to have really helped the recipients form a closer relationship with my little one!
Thank you so much for posting…it’s so nice to hear from someone with little kids too! We try our hardest to keep things decluttered for them but the toys just seem like constant influx!! Christmas & Birthdays are just overwhelming with gifts!
We also just moved so I think I’m realizing how much stuff I was holding on to “just in case”. Working really hard to change that mindset and love the inspiration from miss minimalist.
i have a slightly different approach to kids art because I already feel swamped in digital clutter with my travel photography. The first time I see any art project result I think “oh my god I love it and will cherish it forever”; it then goes in an art drawer/cabinet in my kitchen. Every 3 months I look through the cabinet and on second viewing 90% falls into “what in the world is this and why did I keep it?” Those few months allow the sentiment to wash free for me.
If I still love it, it goes back in the drawer and when I do my next relook it may or may not stay. I find as my son gets older that some of the earlier masterpieces aren’t quite as keepers as I thought (although I do have a few adorable samples that I know I’ll keep forever). I need a small processing period but in the end I can usually separate my emotions from the stuff that is a glitter and glue stick travesty.
My children are grown now, but I wound up keeping about 1 piece of art per child per YEAR, and have a scrapbook with these beautiful, nostalgic pieces. So each child has maybe a dozen pieces of art that I’ve kept, along with a page or two of favorite photos for each year of their growing up years. I wrote notes about each piece of art and photo, and we now have a beautiful book of keepers for each grown child. I love to leaf through them occasionally, and the kids do too (their significant others enjoy them as well). Easy to store (there are only 3 books) and easy to enjoy when you have a free moment. It doesn’t take huge piles of things to remember your child at each stage of his/her life, and in fact I actually look at the stuff more BECAUSE it’s not in a huge pile (literal or digital).
I love to keep my kids art in 3 ring binders in plastic sleeves. I try to keep the ones they work the hardest on and keep a couple to represent each age. I add them chronologically and they love flipping through and looking at everything, as do I. It is much easier to narrow done what to keep and I have given myself permission to get rid of redundant art. I keep their important school stuff the same way. Also you can occasionally give something the kids made to grandparents. They love including their own creations when we have birthdays and Christmas. The photo books are a good idea too, which I have considered doing, but unfortunately I get attached to the actual piece of art the kids make so this is what works for me. But if the project is too large for the binders ( which there will be so many when they are in school) I do take pics of those to include in binders because you just won’t take those huge projects out again and your kids won’t want them when they are adults.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s a great reminder of how minimalism is marathon and not a sprint. I hope a calmer, more serene environment created by minimalism will help your child flourish.
I don’t create photobooks with my kid’s art as it’s one more item to keep. Instead, I upload everything to Flickr.com. My son and I view it once in a while together. We can still revisit it without physically keeping it in our house. I also mail his art to aunts and uncles as birthday gifts.